


Derby and Dogs

by quiteanerdling



Series: Roller Skates and Romance [2]
Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Body Dysphoria, Burritos, Cunnilingus, Dogs, Face-Sitting, Fluff, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Roller Derby, SO MUCH FLUFF, Smut, Tattoos, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, body issues, pierced nipples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-04-25 05:37:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 71,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4948690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiteanerdling/pseuds/quiteanerdling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mia Rutherford is a force of nature and Cullen is both looking forward to and yet dreading her visit to Kirkwall. Knowing she'll want to know all about his (non-existent) love life, he's desperate to find a significant other before she arrives. When his roommate The Iron Bull suggests he ask out their friend Dust Lavellan, roller derby girl extraordinaire, things get...  interesting.</p><p>A bit of pure, self-indulgent nonsense that started on my tumblr and then grew a life of it's own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Burritos and Bruises

**Author's Note:**

> This is really just for my own amusement, and because people mentioned they like my Inquisitor, and I wanted a fic to put in cameos of my friends' OCs. Also, because CULLEN WALKING DOGS WITH HAWKE OK???? Also I just like roller derby and tattoos.
> 
> Seriously, this has like no plot and it's just silliness and references to giant ass burritos. Plus lots of handwaving at world building. You've been warned.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which burritos are acquired and Cullen learns a valuable lesson about judging elves by their bruises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Iguanas is a real place](http://www.burritozilla.com), and the Burritozilla is terrifying (five pounds and 18 inches of burrito-y goodness).

“Bull, I need a girlfriend.” Cullen’s tone was quite frantic, a little desperate, and a bit despairing.

“Not news, buddy.” The Iron Bull said, continuing to shoot the shit out of demons on the huge TV screen. Fucking console controllers for an FPS, what the shit had he been thinking? “I’ve been saying you needed a girlfriend for a while now. Or a boyfriend. Or hey, fuck the whole binary and go genderqueer.”

“Maker’s breath.” Cullen muttered, flopping down on the other end of their couch in dejection. “Honestly at this point I don’t care what gender they are, I just need someone  _now_ because Mia’s coming to visit in a week and if I don’t have a significant other before she gets here I’m in trouble.”

“ _Bam!_ Fuck yeah, head shot!” He laughed and finished his match, making it to the airlift with the rest of his team. He set the wireless controller down carefully on the coffee table and turned to peer at Cullen seriously. “Please tell me you did not pull some ridiculous sit com bullshit and tell Mia that you already have a girlfriend?”

“Oh Maker no, she’d never believe me, I can’t lie to her even over the phone.” Cullen rubbed nervously at the back of his neck, hair starting to come loose from its careful arrangement of waves.

“So what, you want to meet someone and get into a committed relationship in the…” he looked at his phone to check the date. “…next six days?”

Cullen groaned and leaned his head back against the couch with a surprisingly painful sounding thunk.

“Why did I let her talk me into this visit? This is going to be a nightmare.”

“Well for one, you didn’t _let_ her do anything, pretty sure she declared she was coming and bought a plane ticket, and you caved like a sinkhole. Also she’s your sister, you love her, and you’re looking forward to spending time with her.”

Cullen added a pillow over his face, smothering another, even louder groan. Bull laughed and reached over to pluck it off of him. Cullen glared and Bull grinned back.

“Look, Mia isn’t going to force you to start dating someone while she’s here.”

“You don’t know her like I do.” Cullen said petulantly.

“Valid, but you’re a grown man Cullen, if you don’t want to start dating someone, you don’t have to.”

“You’re the one constantly telling me I need to get laid!”

“Eh, technically that’s different than dating, but whatever, it’s your life, you get to make the decisions.”

Bull’s phone buzzed and he grabbed it off the side table, seeing the preview of a picture message from Dorian.

D: _She’s making me go out in public with her looking like_ THIS!

He grinned at the picture of Dorian’s roommate Dust, who was flipping off the camera, wearing a ragged black sweatshirt, an oversized pair of ripped up jeans with the legs rolled up, and bright red high top Chucks. Her thick white hair was up in a messy ponytail, and she had obviously not bothered to remove her previous night’s eye make-up, which was smudged around her pale blue eyes like a raccoon’s mask. She had a bruise on her cheek and a split lip that looked painful as hell, but also kind of hot with her shit eating grin.

_B: Ha, looks good to me kadan, tell her the split lip is impressive._

_D: Do not encourage her Bull, she looks like a thug. She refuses to see a doctor._

Bull chuckled. Dorian fussed over his friend like a mother hen. That’s what happened when you grew up as a spoiled, overprotected, rich kid in Tevinter - a split lip seemed like a serious medical problem.

_D: Ugh, she says if you think the lip is impressive you should see the bruise on her ass._

Bull chuckled while Cullen stared darkly at the loading screen of Bull’s game.

_B: Pics or it didn’t happen._

_D: Absolutely not, I am not sending you pictures of my roommate’s ass bruise._

_B: Have YOU seen it?_

_D: Of course._

He watched the little dots that indicated Dorian was typing, waiting.

_D: It IS impressive actually. It’s shaped like a heart. I have no idea how she managed it. Anyway, we’re going to grab Iguanas for lunch, do you want us to bring you and Cullen food?_

_B: Oh fuck yeah, get me my usual._

_D: I have no idea how you manage to eat something called the Burritozilla and actually consider it a regular item of food. Does Cullen want anything?_

“Cullen, you want something from Iguanas?”

“What?”

“Food, Cullen. Do you want food, a burrito or something?”

“Oh, sure. Just get me whatever.”

Bull rolled his eyes. Cullen had never gotten out of the college boy habit of eating anything and everything. He supposed that it was better than being picky.

B:  _He says get him whatever._

D:  _He really needs to learn to make actual decisions one of these days._

He could almost hear Dorian’s exasperated tone in his head and it made him smile like a dumb ass, an effect Dorian had on him a lot.

B:  _Eh, he’s got the important stuff covered, just get him whatever Dust is having, but knock the heat down to Ferelden._

D:  _We’ll be there soon, I make no promises he’ll like what he gets._

B:  _Hey what are we telling him about the injuries this week?_

D:  _Illegal back alley mixed martial arts._

B:  _Nice!_

Bull grinned at his phone before tossing it back on the side table and eyeing Cullen, feeling an interesting idea take shape.

“So… Cullen. What if, instead of an established relationship, you could say you had just started dating someone. That would get Mia off your back, right?”

Cullen turned to look at him, eyes narrowed, suspicion in every line of his face.

“Well… I suppose. But I don’t really know any single women. Or men for that matter - not ones I would date. And if you think you’re taking me to another bar or club Bull, just think again.” He waved an accusatory finger at Bull, looking a bit green with remembered horror.

“Thanks, but no thanks, it was  _my_ truck you threw up in, remember?”

“You deserved it for abandoning me to go have sex with Dorian.” Cullen scowled fiercely at the memory, but Bull smiled a bit dreamily.

“It was worth it.”

“I hate you so very much right now.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He waved Cullen’s hate away. “I was thinking… you know _Dust_ is single.”

Cullen looked at him wide eyed with horror.

“Dorian’s roommate? Dust with the tattoos  _everywhere_? Dorian’s roommate who I have never seen without some kind of physical injury she received doing something morally questionable if not illegal? Who’s a  _lesbian_?” Cullen’s voice had risen about an octave as he asked and Bull laughed.

“She’s  _bi_ Cullen, she told Hawke she was a lesbian to fuck with him. Her last ex just happened to be a woman.”

“Her ex was  _Isabela_.” Cullen said, voice a combination of terror and reverence. Bull had to admit it seemed like an appropriate combination for Izzie. “Even if I were interested, that’s not a pair of boots I ever want to try and fill.”

“Ok, that’s a valid point, but keep in mind you fill a different type of shoe entirely.” Bull wiggled his eyebrows and Cullen looked both disturbed and confused.

“Bull, she doesn’t even like me.”

“But you like  _her_?” Bull asked, suddenly interested. Cullen’s cheeks began to turn pink.

“No! I mean… Maker’s breath.” The blush was spreading. “It’s not that I  _don’t_ like her, it’s that I barely know her, and what I do know is… alarming.”

“Come on, at least admit she’s hot.”

“How would I even know?” Cullen asked. “When she comes over she dresses like she’s homeless, usually has a black eye, and is wearing a toque. I knew her a month before I knew she had hair under that thing!”

Bull laughed. Dust had a thing for hats, especially in winter, she liked to keep her ears and the shaved sides of her head covered.

“Trust me, she’s hot. You should ask her out, she’d probably say yes out of pure shock.”

“Thanks, but I’m trying to imagine introducing my sister, the elementary school principal, to a woman who regularly gets into bar fights and has no visible source of income.”

Bull eyed Cullen with a sudden and alarming realization.

“Wait… you mean to tell me this whole time you actually  _believed_ that bullshit she was feeding you about all those bruises and shit?” He couldn’t keep the horror out of his voice. Well shit, no _wonder_ Cullen had always been a little reticent around her. He’d always just assumed it was normal Cullen level shyness, not actual disapproval or distrust.

“Bull, what are you talking about?” Cullen was looking at him suspiciously now.

“Fuck Cullen, I didn’t think you’d actually believe us. Dust doesn’t get into bar fights or anything, she does  _roller derby_. Things can get kind of violent, and she’s short, so sometimes she gets hit in the face when she’s competing with humans and Vashoth.”

Cullen blinked, amber eyes obviously full of disbelief.

“Roller derby? You mean… she  _roller skates_?”

“Sure does - in cute little booty shorts, it’s great, whole teams of people in booty shorts man, it’s the best.”

Cullen blinked at him, obviously trying to sort through the new information and putting a couple things together. Then he blushed, violently, all the way across his face, to his ears and down his neck.

“Oh sweet Maker.” He whispered. “She must think I’m an idiot. And an ass hole. Bull how could you do this to me?”

“Dude, Cullen, she once told you she got attacked by  _ninjas_ , how did you not realize she was just making shit up?” Bull was actually surprised, which didn’t happen often, but Kolslun’s balls, how had Cullen never questioned all the random shit they came up with?

“I just… well I mean I figured she was lying, but I still just kind of assumed she was up to no good.” Cullen grabbed the pillow back and covered his face with it again. Bull _did_ feel a little sorry for his roommate... but he also couldn’t wait to tell Dorian. He wasn’t sure he wanted to tell Dust though, she got a little sensitive about the Elvhen thug shit, and Cullen was _really_ lucky he’d never stepped in that particular trap in person.

“Also she  _has_ a job Cullen, she’s a tattoo artist, hence all the tattoos. A really good one. Does special appearances, conventions, has some pretty famous clients. Runs a shop with a guy named Zevran, over in Darktown. She’s got a one year waiting list.”

Cullen muttered something into the pillow that Bull couldn’t understand, but the tone was despairing. Bull took pity and patted him on the leg, giving his knee a squeeze. Cullen had a tendency to linger on embarrassment until he’d worked himself into an anxiety attack, which wasn’t something Bull wanted at all.

“Calm down man, it’s fine. Seriously, I’m not gonna tell her, it’s fine. She just thinks you’re shy and kind of likes fucking with you. It’s completely fine.”

Cullen lowered the pillow and looked at him, cheeks still red and brown eyes still obviously upset. His hair product had completely surrendered in the face of pillows and agitation, and blond curls were beginning to re-assert their control of Cullen’s head. Bull managed not to laugh, but it took reaching deep for his old Ben Hassrath training.

“I am a horrible person who has spent the last five months judging a woman I don’t even know. What in the Void is wrong with me?” Cullen sounded miserable.

“Whoa, hey, stop that ok? You barely knew anything about her, and you still don’t. And not like she bothered to talk to you much.” Bull grinned. “Just ask her out and take her somewhere nice to assuage your guilt. Two birds, one stone.”

Cullen opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a perfunctory knock and the arrival of Dust and Dorian, laden with food bags and bringing with them the smell of delicious Antivan street food.

“We have arrived with sustenance.” Dorian announced, smiling brilliantly as if he had invented agriculture. Dust gave him a shove to get him out of the doorway.

“Dorian, we got burritos, we didn’t hunt a druffalo.” She laughed and nudged the door shut with her foot, grinning at Bull and giving a wink to Cullen, who turned bright red again. Luckily Cullen often turned bright red, saving Bull from trying to explain his roommate’s sudden (increased) awkwardness.

“Hmph, we didn’t have to get them anything, they should be grateful. Especially _this_ big lummox who makes me order him a burrito the size of a toddler. The boy at the register was looking at me funny.”

“He probably thought you were hot.” Bull said with a shrug, taking the bag from Dorian to start unpacking the food onto the dining room table. Dust followed behind to unpack hers, while Dorian headed to the kitchen to grab drinks and plates. Cullen was still on the couch, watching Dust move around with a very intent expression on his face.

“So Dust, I hear the bruise on your ass is shaped like a heart?” Bull asked, looking at Cullen out of the corner of his eye.

Dust laughed, low and sexy, and obviously pleased with herself.

“Sure is… wanna see?” She placed her hands on the waistband of her jeans, raising her sweatshirt enough to show a sliver of brown skin.

“No, bad girl, no taking your clothes off in front of my boyfriend.” Dorian was waving a scolding finger at her, smiling indulgently.

“What if I take my clothes off in front of Cullen and Bull just  _happens_ to be in the same room?” Cullen made a choked sound from the couch and Bull decided Dust was an evil genius.

“That seems pretty legit _kadan_.” He responded, grinning at Dorian, but watching Cullen go so red he was nearly purple.

“Oh enough you two, stop teasing Cullen and let’s eat, I’m starving.” Dorian settled at the table with a few bottles of beer that he distributed to each place, as well as plates, and a knife and fork for himself. Bull knew he was too far gone, because he found it cute as fuck that Dorian ate burritos with silverware.

“Hey Cullen, you mind letting me use your pillow?” Dust asked casually. “The ass bruise really does hurt.”

Cullen looked down at the pillow he was still clutching as if he had forgotten it. He walked over to Dust and handed it to her, still red, his hand clutching at the curls at the nape of his neck as he looked at her intently. She tilted her head to the side like a bird, obviously surprised by his attention.

“Um… would you go out to dinner with me, Dust?”

Bull froze, and Dorian did the same, both of them staring. Holy shit, the kid had actually done it, and right there in the open, while holding out a pillow for her ass. He wished to the Void he had a recording. Dust looked a bit nonplussed, glancing down briefly at the pillow as if it might provide answers to Cullen’s strange behavior.

“Sure? I don’t have any plans tomorrow night.”

“OK. I’ll pick you up at 7?”

“Works for me.” She turned to settle the pillow on her chair, then sat down to unwrap her burrito, popping a large, foil wrapped burrito over onto a plate in front of Cullen.

Dorian turned to look at Bull, silvery eyes wide, full lips formed into a small "O" of surprise. Bull leaned over and kissed him, making him squeak.

“I’ll explain later…” he whispered, and went back to attacking his burrito.


	2. Puppies and Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More roller derby!AU - Enter Hawke, Merrill, and Dogs.

Anxiety set in around the time Cullen sat down to eat lunch in the tiny break room of Puppy Love, the doggy daycare he ran with Garrett Hawke. His sandwich turned to sawdust in his mouth, and what he had already eaten turned to rocks in his belly. He had asked a woman he barely knew on a date. A woman whose ex girlfriend might actually be a real, live, walking sex goddess. A woman who for the last five months he had wildly misjudged. He had asked her on a date and he had done it because he was afraid of being bullied by his older sister.  _Sweet Maker in the Golden City what is_ wrong  _with me?_

He thought about Dust, trying to picture her face without a bruise, a black eye, or a cut. He was sure he had seen it once or twice, maybe. Was he attracted to her? Or was he just asking her out of guilt and desperation? And wouldn’t that be awful if he was? After all, he’d been assuming she was some kind of criminal, how was asking her on a date supposed to make up for that when he was the one being an asshole?

He groaned and put his sandwich back down on his plate, no longer even close to hungry. He was letting Mia coming to visit stress him out more than it should, which lead to anxiety, which lead to practically chasing his own damn tail… metaphorically.

“Cullen, seriously, how in the name of Andraste’s bountiful, bouncing breasts did you convince Gorgeous Gravedust Lavellan to go out with  _you_ when she told  _me_ she was a lesbian?”

Hawke sat down across from him with more force that was probably good for the rickety wooden dining chairs they kept in the break room, voice incredulous. Cullen looked up at him, startled.

“How do you even  _know_ that? I just asked her out yesterday!” He also hadn’t had any intention of telling Hawke about it, at least until he’d managed to complete the date without any untoward disasters.

“Izzie of course.”

“How on earth does Isabela know?” He asked, horrified. Hawke shrugged, opening up his own lunch.

“Iz knows everything Cullen, you should know that by now. Especially if it has to do with people she used to sleep with on the regular.” Hawke grinned, amber eyes bright. “Seriously though, how the hell did you get her to say yes?”

Cullen liked Hawke - they’d been friends since college and business partners for the last three years. In that time he’d watched the famous Hawke charm work on men, women, and every variety in between. Elves, dwarves, qunari - it didn’t matter, they all fell before that crooked smile, sardonic sense of humor, and the beard. It wasn’t that Cullen really  _minded_ being overlooked in favor of Hawke, a sex life like that had to be exhausting, but he could admit there was a little secret part of him that was gloating just a little.

“I asked her.” He replied, smirking. Hawke laughed - part of his charm being that he never really took himself seriously.

“Now why didn’t I think of that?”

“You were too busy asking her to have a threesome with you and Izzie.” Merrill piped up cheerfully, skipping into the lunchroom, followed by a couple of her favorite boarding dogs, a little Orlesian Bulldog named Booger and a very dignified Shiba Inu mix named Vixen, who both settled with an eerie level of calm obedience at her feet. Merrill had that effect on all the dogs, it made Cullen just a little envious, and also kind of creeped him out.

“Oh right… at the Summerday BBQ! It’s ok, they got their revenge by having sex on my bed.” Hawke sighed, but he didn’t sound unhappy, just wistful. Cullen felt his cheeks heat and took another bite of his sandwich, determined not to embarrass himself by choking. He was an adult, he was not a blushing virgin (well he wasn’t a virgin…), and the idea of Isabela and Dust having sex should not shock him. He pushed the thought away before it caused a whole _other_ type of discomfort. Merrill laughed, obviously delighted by the idea of the two women in Hawke’s bed.

“They’re both so pretty. And they smell so nice too. You’re going on a date with Dust, Cullen? That’s lovely, what are you going to do?”

And the sandwich was back to sawdust.

“Shit.” He said, with feeling. Hawke burst out laughing, but Merrill just looking confused and a little alarmed.

“For your first date, Cullen?” She asked, gentle voice concerned. Cullen dropped his head on the table, letting his hands fall down to his sides. The little bulldog came over to sniff at his sandwich and he let it go without so much as a protest. Hawke was laughing so hard he was probably in danger of falling off his chair.

It took a few minute for Cullen to recover, for Hawke to stop laughing, and for both of them to convince Merrill that Cullen did not intend to engage in exotic sexual antics on his first date, or probably ever.

“So you asked her to dinner, right?” Hawke asked. “What’s the big deal?”

“Yes but  _where_? It should be somewhere nice.” He stopped himself before he admitted the reason he was particularly determined to choose somewhere nice. Hawke would never let him live it down if he admitted he had actually thought Dust was a criminal of some kind.

“Well, you know she likes the taste of Rivaini.” Hawke said with a wink and a broad grin, and Cullen curled his lip in disgust.

“Not helping Hawke. I should text Dorian and find out what kind of food she likes. I don’t think I’ve seen her eat anything but burritos.”

“Well she  _is_ Antivan.” Merrill pointed out. Cullen felt his brows pull together in confusion.

“I thought she was Dalish, like you Merrill?”

“Oh she’s Dalish too. Not like me though, we’re from different clans. Her mother was Dalish, her father was Antivan. She grew up in Antiva City.”

“Oh.” He responded intelligently. Hawke was looking at him sharply.

“Cullen, do you actually know anything about her? Seriously how do Merrill and I both know this but you don’t?”

“We just… haven’t talked much. That’s part of why I asked her out. I want to get to know her better.” He was relieved to realize that was true. He was intrigued. Intrigued was good, that meant he wasn’t just asking her out because of a weird sense of guilt and reluctance to have his sister try and set him up with someone during her week long visit.

“Hmm…” Hawke looked and sounded skeptical, but went back to eating his burger. Merrill pulled a salad out of the ancient refrigerator and curled her legs up onto her chair.

Cullen pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he found Dorian’s number.

_C: Hey Dorian, I was wondering, are there any nice restaurants near your place Dust likes? I want to make sure she enjoys dinner._

Thankfully talking to Dorian via text was much easier than talking to him in person, where all that wit and teasing and confidence sometimes made it a little hard for Cullen to keep from getting tongue tied. The answer came sooner than expected.

_D: How chivalrous! She’s not really one for expensive food, sadly. There’s a lovely Antivan place named Flemenco she enjoys, and she will ALWAYS eat steak. The Viscount does a lovely filet._

_C: Thanks Dorian._

_D: Do let me know which one you pick so I can get her to dress properly before you arrive._

He blinked at that, feeling a little alarmed.

_C: I don’t want to her to be uncomfortable, she can wear whatever she likes, I don’t mind._

_D: Well I do. Text me when you pick a restaurant._

He gave the rest of his chips to Hawke, who was almost as much of a walking garbage disposal as The Iron Bull, and went to collect all the leashes for the 1 o’clock walk. An hour spent in the sunshine with a pack of excited dogs had him feeling a lot better, until he looked up The Viscount and saw the incredible number of dollar signs next to its Yelp review. Leave it to Dorian to recommend someplace so expensive. He looked up Flemenco instead, and was relieved to see that it fell much more firmly into “first date” and not “marriage proposal.” Even better he could make a reservation online, so he wouldn’t even have to call.

Reservations made, he went inside to get some quality play time in with some of the younger dogs, and put the date out of his mind.


	3. Tattoos and Teasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Cullen manages to be both awkward and charming at the same time, and we get more of Dust's body mods. Dorian is both dad and wingman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, more ridiculous, self indulgent nonsense! Basically just a paean to the glory of thick thighs and a nice ass. Cullen continues to be awkward as fuck and yet adorable. Dorian is... Dorian. And if you’re curious, Dust is wearing [this perfume](http://www.jomalone.com/product/6330/18437/Fragrances/Cologne-Intense/Dark-Amber-Ginger-Lily/Dark-Amber-Ginger-Lily-Cologne).

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You didn’t text me!” Dorian hissed when he opened the door to the townhouse he shared with Dust. Cullen blinked, having totally forgotten that was something Dorian wanted.

“Sorry.” He replied, still a little bewildered by Dorian’s obsession with clothing. “Like I said, I don’t care what she wears, I just want her to be comfortable.”

“ _Thank you!_  See Dorian, this is why I’m going to dinner with Cullen and not with you.” Cullen looked up to see Dust coming down the hardwood stairs, and every single synapse in his brain seemed to short circuit, while his heart went into overdrive.  _Oh shit, Bull was right, she_ is  _hot!_

Apparently what made Dust comfortable was dark washed jeans so tight that they could have easily been painted on and knee high black leather boots with gold buckles up the sides. She had on a loosely draped, dark green tank top with a very deep V, also trimmed in gold. He had never seen quite so much of her skin at one time before - smooth brown and bisected by flowing white lines of tattoos. She had the beautifully sculpted shoulders and arms of someone who had more than a passing familiarity with lifting weights.

The bruise on her cheek seemed to have either significantly diminished or been covered up with some kind of make up, and the split in her lip was a great deal less obvious when camouflaged with the shiny red lipstick she was wearing. Instead of the raccoon make up she had been wearing the previous afternoon, her eyes were lined with crisp black, similar to how Dorian wore his. Her facial tattoos looked delicate and almost lacy against the clear skin of her face, and her hair, which he had never seen down, flowed in a soft fall of waves over one shoulder.

“Maker’s  _breath_ …” he whispered reverently. He could see Dorian smirking out of the corner of his eye, and he cleared his throat, feeling his cheeks flame. Dust just chuckled and made her way down the stairs, standing up on tip-toe to give him a kiss on one blushing cheek.

“Thank you.” She said with a grin, reaching up to wipe away what he guessed was leftover lipstick. “It’s nice to know I didn’t spend fifteen minutes wiggling my sore ass into these pants for nothing.”

Merrill was right, she smelled  _incredibly_ good. She smelled like… actually he had no idea, kind of like skin, but sexier, and maybe flowers? Whatever it was, the smell bypassed his brain and went immediately to lower portions of his body. Hopefully he was still blushing so hard there wouldn’t be enough blood flow below the belt to cause anything else to embarrass him. Up close he could see the facial piercings he had somehow never noticed - a delicate gold septum hoop, a small gold bead in her nostril, the little white jewel of her Monroe piercing, and the small gold hoops that marched halfway up her long, pointed ears.

“Have you always had piercings?” He blurted out. She laughed, but it was sweet, and a little teasing - she didn’t seem bothered by his lack of observation.

“Yup, I just take the jewelry out for matches. Having your facial jewelry ripped out is not fun, I can tell you from personal experience.”

“Oh.” He responded, brain still not firing on all cylinders. “They’re pretty.”

“Thank you.” She responded, lips curling into a smile that seemed far too full of secrets. Cullen held back a whimper, just barely.

“Do you think perhaps the two of your could take your foreplay out of the foyer?” Dorian asked. Cullen swallowed and tore his eyes off of Dust. Dorian was leaning against the charcoal grey wall, arms crossed over his chest, expression somewhere between amusement and annoyance.

“It’s my foyer too Dorian. Go complain about my clothes to Bull and leave me alone to flirt shamelessly with my date.”

Dorian made a noise that reminded Cullen of his friend Cassandra, before shaking his head and walking over to kiss Dust on the cheek. He shot Cullen a narrow eyed look of obvious warning while he did so.

“Enjoy yourselves children.” He sauntered back out of the hallway.

“So where are we going?” It took Cullen a moment to realize she was talking to him.

“Uh… Dorian recommended a place called Flamenco?”

“Oh, perfect!” She said, smiling brightly. “Just gonna grab a jacket for later.”

Dust turned to open the door of the coat closet and he got a full view of her back. Instead of normal straps, the back of her tank top was gathered at the base of her neck in a single fall of fabric, revealing her shoulders and some of her back, as well as the band of a lacy, black, strapless bra. There was some kind of very large piece tattooed on her back, but he couldn’t really figure out what it was, other than possible an Elvhen woman. She leaned into the closet to grab a jacket, standing on her toes, the movement drawing his eyes downward. Her hips were broad, her thighs were thick and muscular, no gap in sight, and Cullen suddenly understood why Bull had been so excited about the booty shorts.

_Andraste preserve me._

The Maker’s Bride apparently heard his prayer because Dust pulled back out of the closet, folding a black leather jacket over one arm, saving him from staring helplessly at her ass.

“Guessing you drove, but if you’re up for it the restaurant is in walking distance and it’s nice out.” She gave him a little half smile, and tilted her head toward the door. “Up to you though, I know you probably walk around a lot for work, so I’m fine if you’d rather drive, there’s parking.”

“Sure.” She raised her eyebrows and Cullen realized she hadn’t asked a yes or no question. “Walking! I mean walking is fine, I like walking.”  _Oh Maker save me from myself._

“Cullen, I know the discovery that I’m actually a woman who has both tits  _and_ an ass is a little shocking, but I’m the exact same Dust who comes over and steals your beer and brings you burritos.” She smiled, but it wasn’t mean and it wasn’t mocking. “If it makes you more comfortable I can change into something shapeless with holes in it and wash off the make up.”

“No you can not!” Dorian yelled from down the hall. Dust and Cullen both burst out laughing. Dust shook her head.

“Let’s go before my dad grounds me.” She reached past him to grab a black leather purse from a hook on the wall and draped it across her chest. He opened the door and waved her out to distract himself from the way it pressed her shirt between her breasts.

Dust lead the way down their block, full of attractive brownstones, many of them with tiny gardens out front, flowers blooming in the late summer sun.

“Sorry, it’s been awhile since I’ve been on a date.” He said, smiling at her shyly as they walked.

“No worries. There are worse things than making a cute guy tongue tied.” She gave him another little half smile, looking out at him from under long, spiky, black lashes. It made his heart beat a little faster, and his own smile grew wider.

And then he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk because he wasn’t paying attention to anything but her smile. Dust made a startled sound and grabbed him around the waist with strong arms to help him steady himself, dropping her jacket in the process.

“You ok?” She asked, full lips twitching as she obviously tried not to laugh.

“Well, I’ve decided to throw myself into the Abyssal Rift to end my embarrassment, but other than that I’m fine.” His hand flew to the back of his neck in his habitual nervous movement, and because he really wanted to wrap his arms around her in return. She grinned up at him and gave a little squeeze before letting go, bending down to pick up her jacket. He looked studiously at the marigolds growing on the stoop of the house beside them to avoid peeking down her shirt.

“I think that might be a little excessive, but I admire the ambition.” She reached up and grabbed his forearm, pulling it down and taking his hand in hers - it was small and calloused, but warm. “I think I should hold your hand to make sure you stay upright for the rest of the trip. It’s for your own safety.”

He choked out a laugh, embarrassment dissipating under the encouragement of her smile.

“I suppose safety is important.” He answered, smiling down at her. She pulled him back into motion and they kept walking. He reached down, a bit awkwardly and plucked her jacket from her shoulder, holding it for her. She gave him another smile but didn’t say anything, content to simply walk in silence. It was… relaxing. He would never have made the comparison out loud, but walking with Dust gave him the same feeling of pleasant quiet he got when he took the Puppy Love dogs for a walk. The mild background buzz of anxiety in his head and in his chest subsided, he stopped blushing, and just enjoyed the feeling of her hand holding his.

He was actually slightly disappointed when Dust stopped in front of a pretty, Antivan style building with white stucco walls and red roof tiles. There was a trellis absolutely dripping with brightly colored azaleas, over a wrought iron gate. The silhouette of a flamenco dancer was worked into the metal, though there was no other sign. Still smiling Dust lead him through the gate toward the shadowed entrance of the restaurant, and he couldn’t remembered the last time he’d so willingly followed anyone anywhere.

 

* * *

 

 

_D: She refused to wear the dress. :(_

_B: Told you. You owe me ten sovereigns._

_D: She looked gorgeous in it, why doesn’t she ever cooperate?!_

_B: Because she’s not a doll for you to play dress up with? Plus, she knows her audience._

_D: What on earth is THAT supposed to mean?_

_B: Lemme guess, she wore a pair of those skin tight jeans she likes and a top that showed some skin, but not too much._

_D: …_

_D: I’m genuinely a little disturbed by how well you predicted that._

_B: And when Cullen saw her, did he look like he got hit in the head with a brick?_

_D: Haha, he did actually!_

_B: The dress would have been too much, he’d never have managed to untangle his brain long enough to have a conversation._

_D: Ugh, you probably have a point. How is he this awkward?_

_B: He’s fine, they’ll figure it out. He’s just a little shy. Now about our bet and some possible alternate forms of compensation…_

_D: I DO have the house to myself…_


	4. Flirting and Fuck-ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are about to be made...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Spanish is weak at best, so if there are obvious mistakes let me know. :)

Cullen was looking at the menu with an adorable little crease between his eyebrows. Dust hadn’t decided if the shy awkwardness was adorable, annoying, or both. Probably both - about eighty percent adorable and twenty percent annoying. The walk seemed to have mellowed him out a little at least, and she tried not to imagine him as an over eager Golden Retriever, no matter how apt the comparison seemed. Nervous and tongue tied wasn’t usually her thing, but hell, she wasn’t seeing anyone, he was damn good looking, and the way he blushed, freckles nearly disappearing under the red across his cheeks was devastatingly adorable. **  
**

“Never had Antivan food before?” She asked. He was still looking at the menu as if he was trying to figure out if they were at the right restaurant. She loved introducing people to new food, and at least she knew Cullen wasn’t picky. Even if he was Ferelden enough to think salt was spicy.

“Well… yes? I mean I like the burritos you guys bring over, and tacos, but… I don’t really recognize any of this.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and looked at her ruefully. He had ridiculously pretty eyes, and that scar on his lip was incredibly hot. She wanted to do exceptionally naughty things with his mouth. She settled for taking a sip of ice water instead before she answered.

“Mmm, yeah, that’s alienage food, not traditional Antivan.” It amused her to no end that Antivan alienage food had travelled south and become the cuisine people were most familiar with. She got up and he looked startled for a moment before she plopped down next to him in the booth, leaning against his shoulder. His button up shirt was a dark blue chambray, soft against her bare skin. His sleeves were rolled up to reveal tan, muscular forearms dotted with scars she suspected were dog bites. He swallowed and flushed a bit when she leaned into him to ostensibly look at the menu, but didn’t seem bothered and didn’t lean away.  _Progress_.

“So what’s… tapas?” He said it all wrong, very flat and very Ferelden but his mouth was too pretty for her to mind.

“ _Tapas_.” She corrected, short and sharp, letting her accent slip a little. He actually smiled at her without blushing. _Note to self, he likes the accent._  She’d had a number of lovers who liked to hear her speak Antivan, especially in bed. It was a little weird, but she sure as the Void wasn’t going to object. “It’s like… little dishes? It’s supposed to come from when people used to put little pieces of bread over their drinks to protect them from flies. At least I think that’s the story. Anyway, you get a bunch of little yummy dishes and usually you share them so you can try everything.”

“OK… so like, appetizers?” He was back to looking at the menu. She really wanted to reach up and run her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. And then the rest of it. Then she wanted to pull it and…  _Down girl!_

She was glad when Yvette appeared, grinning at her, hands in the pockets of her black apron.

 _“Oooh, he’s new!”_ She said cheerfully in Antivan.  _“So pretty!”_

 _“Be good Yvette, he’s shy and I’m trying not to scare him.”_ Yvette cocked her head, giving Cullen an obvious once over. Cullen was looking confused, but when they both looked at him he began blushing.

 _“He blushes! How charming.”_  Dust knew she should make Yvette switch to Common, but watching Cullen try to look nonchalant about the whole experience was too amusing.

_“Yeah, he does that.”_

_“It’s adorable.”_

_“It really is.”_

Cullen was glancing back and forth between them with an expression that bordered on pleading.

“Sorry Cullen, this is Yvette Montilyet, her family owns the restaurant.” She turned back to smile at Yvette. “Yvette, this is Cullen Rutherford. He’s Bull’s roommate.”

“Oh, how lovely! Convenient too! You can simply switch roommates when you are feeling amorous.” Cullen made a choked sound, going red as a beet, and Dust couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yvette, you’re terrible!” She grinned at Yvette, who winked at Cullen. “Go away before I tell Josie on you. Bring sangria when you come back!”

Yvette giggled and turned to bounce off, obviously delighted with herself. Cullen’s hand had gone to the back of his neck and he was trying his best not to look at her. She suppressed a small sigh. This was why she didn’t date shy people. She leaned away from him, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable than he already was.

“Sorry about that. Don’t mind Yvette, she doesn’t mean anything by it, she just can’t resist a chance to tease.”

“Well… she makes a fair point.” He said, voice obviously full of laughter. Dust looked up at him, quite startled. He was still pinker than normal, but his scarred lip was pulled up into a little smirk.  _Well, well, well, maybe the puppy has some bark after all. I wonder if he’s got any bite to go with it?_

“I have brought sangria, and my sister says it is on the house, because she saw your pretty date blush, and says she knows I was teasing.” Yvette sighed dramatically, dark eyes sparkling as she set down two large goblets full of sangria and fruit with a flourish, turning to leave them to enjoy their drinks. Cullen looked a bit startled by the sheer size of the glasses.

“Have you had sangria?” Dust asked, enthusiastically spearing an orange slice with a long toothpick. He was grinning at her as she held up the wine soaked fruit.

“No, but from your enthusiastic response I’m guessing it’s good.”

“One of my favorite things.” She responded, popping the orange slice into her mouth far enough to bite off the juicy flesh. She realized her mistake almost immediately as her lip started to burn. “Mother  _fucker!_ ”

Cullen looked alarmed, but the sting on her mouth was too demanding to explain. She licked the juice off of her lip and pressed the black napkin of her place setting over it.

“Oh, the split lip.” Cullen looked sympathetic and she nodded, trying not to wince. Taking up his own napkin he dipped it in his own ice water. “Here, let me.”

She lowered her her own napkin, darting her tongue out again, wincing as it just made things worse. He shook his head, gently tilting her head back with the barest press of a curled finger under her chin, then dabbed very softly against the stinging cut. The cool, wet cloth felt good, until he pressed a bit more firmly. She tried not to squirm, it really wasn’t that bad, but without the adrenaline of a match or a fight, the pain was distracting.

“Sorry.” He said, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m just trying to get it to stop bleeding.”

She grunted, not wanting to move her head or her mouth, shoulders tense with discomfort. His thumb stroked over the line of her jaw, an absent kind of soothing motion that provided a surprisingly effective distraction. The soft brush of his thumb, the tiny hint of pressure from his finger on her chin, and the sharp ache of her lip was making her want to squirm in an entirely different way.  _First date, he’s shy, go slow, go slow, go slow…_

Cullen lifted his napkin away and she swallowed, shivering at the almost pleasure that the lack of pain left in its wake. He was looking intently at her mouth, brown lashes fluttering slightly as he considered her seriously. He pursed his lips, brows drawn together and face serious as he gave her lip one last delicate touch.

_Mythal’s mercy I want to sit on his face and ride him until his stubble leaves rug burn on my thighs…_

“I think you’re good now.”

“What?” She asked, brain full of images that were not the  _least_ bit appropriate for a family restaurant.

“I think your lip stopped bleeding. Does it hurt? Maybe they can get you some ice?”

_Focus Dust, focus._

She reached up to touch her lip and thought better of it when Cullen scowled like she was a disobedient puppy. She managed to keep from grinning at the mental image. Poor Cullen - she really hoped he wasn’t anticipating a puppy, because he had definitely ended up with an ally cat.

“I think I’m good. I just need to avoid sucking on any more citrus.”

“Good plan.” He reached out for his own drink and took a cautious sip. He looked at the drink in consideration and then took another sip. “Huh, that’s really good.”

“Try not to sound so surprised.” She said with a laugh.

“Sorry, but I  _am_ Ferelden.” He returned, smirking. “We drink beer, and water, and occasionally watered down beer when we have no choice.”

“Poor thing, don’t worry, I’m sure your taste buds will still work even if they’re stunted.”

“Hey! Come on, Ferelden food isn’t that bad!” He was grinning as he said it, though, so she snorted with derision.

“Right, of course, it’s perfectly normal to treat salt and pepper as if they’re dangerous and not to be trusted.”

“At least I don’t bathe everything in hot sauce.” He returned smugly.

“Only because you don’t know any better.” She leaned in against him again and smiled slowly, the kind of smile completely intended to entice inappropriate thoughts. “Don’t worry, I’ll educate you, _mi pequeño gringo._ ”

He swallowed and she considered it a success that his cheeks started to grow pink and he quickly looked down at the menu between them. She pointed out some of her favorite dishes, and a few she thought would scare him, just to see how far she could push him.

“What about these other ones, the dishes that are full meals, not tapas?” This time when he said tapas it was a much closer approximation of what it should actually sound like. “Like this one… paella?”

She chuckled because he completely butchered the pronunciation.

“ _Paella_.” She corrected. “It’s really good, you might like it. Not really spicy, but they serve it in these huge pots, so you have to do two orders, not just one. It’s meant to be shared.”

“Oh. Hmmm… Well do you like it?” He asked.

“Oh I love it. I make Bull and Dorian get it whenever we come. Sometimes I even get Zev to make it for parties. He has to be in the right mood for it though.”

“Well we could get a couple of the less terrifying sounding tapas and then order the paella.” Once again his pronunciation improved quickly. She’d have to try teaching him some Antivan words that didn’t involve food, he had a nice voice, and she liked the way he said things.

“Works for me. If you don’t like the paella it just means leftovers for me.” She grinned and signaled Yvette to come take their order. She also got a straw for the sangria. She would not let a busted lip keep her from her booze.

* * *

There were no leftovers. Dust was impressed with Cullen’s willingness to try new things. He had tried everything they ordered, even when dubious, and there were only two things he hadn’t liked, the squid “too chewy” and the the anchovies and cheese with eggplant “just… no.” She had laughed, but she hadn’t blamed him, everyone had different tastes. On the other hand he had liked the dates filled with chorizo and wrapped in bacon so much they ended up with a second order.

He also stopped after one glass of sangria, saying he wanted to make sure he was good to drive, which also impressed her. Way too many people she had dated didn’t seem to know their own limits, or thought drinking as a competition. Since her liver had long since given up fighting, she usually won, but Cullen seemed content to sip water while she drank a couple more glasses of sangria.

The walk back to her apartment was nice, the streets quiet except for the occasional sounds of music or tv wafting through windows opened to catch the breeze. This time it was Cullen who reached out to take her hand, fingers broad and calloused as they twined through hers.

“For safety.” He said with a smile.

“Of course.” She replied with a laugh. She let her shoulder bump into him a couple times, still enjoying the feel of his shirt on her skin. Her jacket hadn’t been necessary - the air had kept much of its earlier warmth, and the cool breeze didn’t bother her skin, flushed with alcohol and no small quantity of lust. She had no intention of inviting Cullen into her home, much less into her room, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t think about it. It made for nice thoughts.

They stopped at the stairs to her townhouse and she gave a laugh when she caught sight of Bull’s oversized truck parked in the street. She wondered how long it took after she left for Dorian to get him to come over.

“Looks like I’ll be sleeping with my headphones in tonight.” She said, pointing the truck out to Cullen, who laughed.

“I use earplugs myself. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m kind of glad they’re going to do their best to keep  _you_ up tonight instead of me. I get up early for work.”

“Oh they’d come over here more, but all the really fancy toys are at your place.” She gave him a grin she knew was wicked, and even in the dim golden like of the porch lamps, she could see his blush.

“Maker’s breath, I did not need to know that!” He made a sound halfway between a moan and a laugh, bringing his free hand up to cover his eyes, obviously trying to block out a mental image. It was so adorable that she gave in to instinct and pushed up on her toes to brush a kiss across his scarred mouth.

He was looking at her wide eyed, one hand still holding hers, the other now firmly planted to the back of his neck. Her smile faltered as she realized she had potentially just seriously misread things.  _Shit!_

“Sorry, I should have asked. I didn’t mean to-” She stopped because his mouth was suddenly on hers, pressing gently, warm and soft, though his stubble brushed against the edge of her fuller lips. She made a pleased sound in the back of her throat to encourage him. He let go of her hand, bringing both of his up to frame her face, thumbs running gently along her jawline just like earlier in the evening. She brought her hands up to rest at his waist, stroking the soft material of his shirt, the little hint of chub over his belt.

Dust could admit that patience was not her best virtue. She moved her arms around to his back, stroking upward to explore the hard muscles there, and darted her tongue across his lips, a quick, careful taste, requesting instead of demanding. She felt as much as heard him take a breath through his nose, before his lips parted, an obvious invitation that she accepted happily. He tasted of the chocolate pistachio cake he had had for dessert and he seemed happy to let her explore. She kept it slow and soft, sliding her tongue across his, flicking the tip across his lips and then slipping back inside.

His hands shifted up, one sliding into the fall of her hair, the other brushing fingers against the soft stubble on the shaved side, his thumb brushing against the sensitive ridge of her ear.  She let out a little whimper and shivered, pressing closer, leaning into Cullen until they were pressed together from chest to thighs. His breath hitched and then the angle changed as he gently pulled her head back and took the kiss over, his tongue sliding into her mouth for the first time.

If someone had asked, she wouldn’t have expected Cullen Rutherford to be a particularly good kisser, but she would very happily admit to misjudging him as his tongue delved into her mouth, stroking and teasing, slipping back to bite at her lip. She pulled away with a jerk and a hiss of pain, instinctively popping her hand over her mouth as her split lip throbbed.

“Oh shit, Dust, I am so sorry, I didn’t even think! I’m an idiot, I am so, so sorry.” He looked so distressed, poor puppy. She laughed and waved her hand dismissively.

“Don’t worry about it, we were both a little distracted.” She darted her tongue over her lips, sighing as she tasted blood again. She was going to fucking end that Cousland bitch next time they faced off, she hated getting hit in the mouth. To her surprise, Cullen pulled an actual honest to the Creators handkerchief out of his inner pocket and gently dabbed at her lip like he had in the restaurant. This time he held her chin more firmly, thumb on one side and fingers on the other. He was looking a little bashful again, concentrating on her mouth instead of meeting her eyes.

“I had a really good time tonight.” He said softly. Oh she definitely liked his voice. She wondered if he was loud or quiet in bed. “I should thank Bull and Mia both for convincing me to ask you out.”

It took a minute for her brain to process his words, distracted as she was by imagining what Cullen would sound like in bed.

“Who’s Mia?” She asked, trying to move her mouth as little as possible while he kept up the gentle pressure on her lip.

“My older sister,” he replied, smiling ruefully. “She’s coming to stay with us next week, and she’s very sweet but firmly convince I need a girlfriend. Bull thought I could just ask someone out, and if I was dating she wouldn’t try and set me up with anyone. He mentioned you were single and suggested I ask you.”

“Oh.” Was all she could think of to say. Why did something about what he was saying just not feel right? He pulled back, looking at her lip and then nodding at his handy work, smiling gently. She looked up at him and he seemed totally oblivious to the turmoil he was causing.

“So… we’ve known each other for five months, and you didn’t have any interest in asking me out until you needed a date to keep your sister from playing matchmaker?” She tried to keep her voice neutral instead of accusatory. After all, he was cute, and they’d have fun, why should it matter what his original motivation was for asking her out. He gave a rueful chuckle.

“I… well I was a bit of an idiot actually. Not only did I think you were a lesbian because of Hawke, but I… “ She could feel a cold lump forming in the pit of her stomach, and she was suddenly tempted to stop him from talking. “…well I actually believed a lot of the crazy reasons you gave for why you had injuries so often.”

He was smiling at her as if it were quirky and adorable, something she should laugh at and dismiss. She did not feel like laughing.

“Wait… so what, you thought I regularly got into bar fights or did other weird, illegal shit?” She couldn’t keep the incredulity out of her tone. “Cullen I once told you I was attacked by  _ninjas!_ ”

“I know, I know, and I promise I didn’t think you were telling the truth about that one. Bull even pointed that one out. He was shocked that I actually believed it. I just… I guess I didn’t really think it through, I just kind of took everything at face value. I mean I never knew you had a regular job, or how you and Dorian met, I just thought it was a bit odd, and Bull does know a pretty wide range of people.” He was looking at her apologetically, eyes pleading.

“So… you thought what, because I’m an elf I had to be up to no good, and you went for months assuming that Dorian was living with some kind of petty criminal?” The words tasted bitter in her mouth, and she suddenly regretted eating so much at dinner.

“No! I mean… “ He looked a little panicked. “I guess I just didn’t think about it at all really. But it wasn’t because you’re an elf!”

She stepped away from him, stomach churning with disappointment and anger.

“Great - so for five months you weren’t even interested enough to find out what I did for a living or how I ended up with bruises and black eyes and split lips. Then your sister decided to come to town, and you needed some kind of sit com level beard because you were too chicken shit to tell her to butt out of your life, and suddenly I was looking like a catch.”

His head jerked back as if she had slapped him, and his pretty eyes went wide, looking horrified.

“Dust…” She shook her head, not in the mood to hear anything else.

“Thank you for dinner Cullen, I have no interest in doing it again. Good luck with your sister, and good night.”

She stalked to the door, grabbing her jacket off the ground where she had dropped it yet again. Thankfully the damn thing was sturdy. She dug her keys out of her purse, opening the door and slipped into the townhouse, locking the door firmly behind her.

She hung up her jacket, each movement precise, and then hung her purse up, digging out her cell phone and heading upstairs. By the time she reached the landing of the second floor she could hear Dorian and Bull, obviously having a delightful time by the sound of it. The urge to open the door and kick Bull right in the ass was a strong temptation, but she resisted and headed to her bedroom. There would be plenty of time to tell him she never wanted to speak to him  _or_ his roommate again in the morning.


	5. Regrets and Recriminations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dust has some _feelings_ to share with Bull, and we get to meet Anders and more doggies. Also Merrill is back because I love Merrill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with Cullen's anxiety and body issues a bit. I'll update the tags accordingly, but if someone calling themselves names and being rather shitty to themselves is troublesome for you, this may prove unpleasant.

Bull was usually out of Dorian’s townhouse and on his way to the gym before either Dust or Dorian was awake, but this morning was an exception. Morning sex had led to a promise of breakfast, so he was busy making omelettes while Dorian smiled and drank coffee at the big kitchen island. Dorian was disheveled and wearing nothing but boxer briefs and an oversized sweatshirt he had stolen from Bull some weeks previously. His hair was a spiky disaster, his lips swollen from kisses, and he had a large bite mark where his neck met his shoulders. His eyes were sleepy and half lidded and it took all of Bull’s considerable willpower not to scoop him up and take him back upstairs for round two. Bull turned back to the stove to focus on not destroying breakfast.

“How do you think it went last night?” Dorian asked, voice still rough with sleep and the very enthusiastic morning blow job he had given Bull. “Do you think Cullen managed to actually talk to her?”

“Funny you should ask that.”

 _Oh fuck._  Bull had a finely honed sense of danger. You didn’t spend years in the Qunari special forces without learning to recognize the signs of something bad about to happen. Dust’s voice was cold and dripping with sarcasm. He might not be in danger of a knife or a bullet in the back, but shit was about to hit the proverbial fan.

“Turns out that dear, sweet,  _awkward_ Cullen only decided to ask me out because his sister will be in town next week and he needs some kind of fake girlfriend to throw her off the matchmaking trail. His ever so helpful roommate pointed out that I was single, and he jumped at the chance, despite the fact he thought I was an unemployed criminal. I have to say, I’d kind of like to meet this sister of his, considering the kind of terror and desperation she seems to inspire.”

Yup, definitely danger. Bull suspected he was going to have some groveling to do, and his bed was going to be cold for a few days. How the fuck did Cullen manage to tell her something like that on the first damn date? He’d genuinely believed his roommate was smarter than that, but apparently he’d overestimated him.

The silence that followed was so full of tension he could damn near taste it. He sighed and turned off the burners. He had a feeling breakfast was a lost cause. When he turned to face them, Dorian looked stricken, and Dust looked like she wanted to rip off his horns and beat him with them.  _Whew, that is definitely the look of a woman who’s been stewing all night._ She was dressed head to toe in black gym gear, aggressively skimpy and showing off the extensive tattoos over her well muscled body. Her face was perfectly clean, bare of any make up, even the mascara she used to darken her white lashes. Her eyes looked eerie and cold without that black ring, icy blue and  _pissed_. She was smiling, or at least showing her teeth, because there was nothing friendly about the expression.

“So… I guess that means things didn’t go well last night?” He tried out a small smile and regretted it. He hadn’t thought it was possible for her to look angrier, but she managed it. This was a side of her he hadn’t seen before - she’d always been laid back, easily amused, willing to make a joke of herself.

“Actually things were going just fine, make outs on the porch and everything! He was planning on thanking both you and Mia for the motivation to ask me out apparently. All it took was five months, some desperation, and you convincing him I’d be a good fake girlfriend. Which I admit is impressive especially when you consider he was firmly convinced on that whole  _unemployed criminal_  thing.”

“Wait… what?” Dorian asked, finally catching up and sounding horrified.

“Oh yeah, Bull didn’t tell you? Turns out Cullen actually fucking believed those stupid stories we told him about all my derby injuries. Apparently he thought you were just living with a petty criminal of some sort.”

Wearing nothing but a sweatshirt and underwear, kiss bruised and hair disheveled from Bull’s tugging fingers, Dorian should have looked adorable when he was angry, but instead he looked surprisingly intimidating. It was hot as fuck, but Bull was absolutely not going to point that out, because, his mistake with Cullen aside, he was not foolish. He looked between Dorian and Dust and sighed.

“Look, I get that this all sounds pretty fucking bad presented like that, but seriously I’d never have suggested that he ask you out if I didn’t think the two of you would get along once he got over being shy. Honestly I didn’t think he was actually going to have the courage to ask you, but I guess his sister coming was the kick in the ass he needed to get his shit together.”

“Yeah… shockingly, none of that actually helps, Bull. He didn’t give a shit about me for five months, he assumed I was a criminal, and he’d never have asked me out if he weren’t apparently terrified of his sister. I will never be so hard up for dick that I put up with that kind of nonsense.”

She turned to Dorian, very obviously dismissing Bull and any further excuses or apologies.

“I want him gone by the time I get back from the gym.” She said firmly, pointing in Bull’s direction. “The two of you can fuck at his place until seeing him doesn’t piss me off anymore.”

Dorian bristled at that. Bull knew better than to think it was entirely on his behalf, Dorian just really didn’t like being given orders by anyone.

“Oh really… is that  _all_ your majesty, or would you like to dictate some further instructions for how I behave in my own home?” His tone was biting, but Dust didn’t seem the least phased.

“It’s my home too, and I don’t deserve to have to go hide in my room because your boyfriend is here and I don’t want to deal with him. I deserve to be comfortable in my own space, and right now what I’m feeling is definitely not comfort.”

Dorian’s lips pressed together, and it was obvious he wanted to say more, but Dust just shook her head, hitched her gym back higher on her shoulder and walked out of the kitchen. They heard the door shut a moment later, and Bull had to admit he was impressed with her self control when it didn’t slam.

Dorian let out a vicious stream of swearing in Tevene, slamming his coffee cup down on the butcher block counter with enough force to make it slosh over his hand, which brought on another bout of swearing. Bull calmly handed him a kitchen towel for his hand, then grabbed a few paper towels to clean up the coffee.

“What in the name of Andraste’s sacred knickers were you  _thinking_ Bull?” Dorian demanded angrily. Bull shrugged and didn’t miss that Dorian’s eyes tracked the movement unconsciously.

“Honestly kadan I was mostly just fucking with him a little, and then he asked her and I was so excited that I didn’t really think too hard about the situation. I think they’d be good for each other, but I did  _not_ expect Cullen to try and deepthroat his own foot.”

The laugh that Dorian gave was quickly transformed into a cough to try and protect his dignity. Bull leaned against the kitchen island with a small smile. Dorian sighed and ran one slender hand through his hair, long, flexible fingers tipped in black laquour somehow managing to make a bit of order from the chaos, even without a mirror.

“She still had no business ordering  _my_ boyfriend out of my house.” Dorian groused.

“Yeah, she really does.” Bull responded, brushing fingers gently over the bite mark on Dorian’s neck to get him to make that little purring moan sound Bull liked. He made it, but then quickly swatted Bull’s hand away.

“Have you gone mad? She just told you to get out and you’re defending her?” Dorian asked, indignant.

“She’s right - it’s her home too, and she shouldn’t have to deal with someone she’s pissed at when they don’t even live here. When she’s ready to accept my apology and is a little less angry I’m sure we’ll be back to normal.” He leaned down and gave Dorian a kiss on the forehead. “Lemme see if I can salvage breakfast before she gets back. I’m gonna need to fuel to kick Cullen’s head out from his ass.”

 

* * *

The absolute best thing about dogs, in Cullen’s opinion, was that they never judged you. You could say any idiotic thing that sprung to mind to a cocker spaniel and it would look at you as if you were a cross between Genitivi and the second coming of Andraste. Even if you scolded them for doing something wrong, they forgave you and were happy to go back to a joyful and loving friendship.

Of course if you pushed a dog hard enough, scared it, or mistreated it, it would lash out and you might lose its trust. Kind of like when you said the most asinine and foolish thing that came to mind when talking to a woman, right after biting her until she bled. Admitting you thought she was a criminal? Check. Telling her that you only asked her out because you were nervous about your matchmaking sister? Check. Actually causing physical pain and mild bleeding with your kiss? Double check! And now he was mentally comparing her to a dog.

 _Way to go Rutherford, you’re doing great! Keep this up and the next person you date will just murder you on the spot for being a total ass._ He groaned pitifully and leaned his head back none too gently against the trunk of the huge oak tree that was the defining feature of the park he had brought his morning pack to.

He loved walking this particular bunch of dogs, that they had nicknamed the Graduate Students. They all got along, were fairly mellow, and could be trusted off leash because they all answered to voice commands. Walking them at 6:30 in the morning also cut down on traffic he was likely to run into in the park, so he was currently letting them run about to their hearts’ content. Bilbo, a dignified old bulldog who wasn’t interested in the antics of his younger companions was curled up against his leg, eyeing him sympathetically.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he felt dread pool in the pit of his stomach, heartbeat jacking up at a rate totally out of proportion to what was probably nothing more than an email notification. Sadly, his anxiety didn’t give a fuck about proportionate response, it preferred to nuke calm first and ask questions later. He took a deep breath, ignoring the pounding of his heart and pulled his phone out. He winced. Not a random email but an early morning text from Bull.

_B: WTF kid??_

He groaned again and Bilbo gave a small, sympathetic wuff.

_B: We’re going to have pizza and beer tonight and a very long talk about appropriate first date conversation._

_B: Especially when it pertains to my boyfriend’s roommate, who has the authority to banish me from her place. Which is also where my boyfriend lives._

_B: I suggest you pick up more earplugs._

_C: I am so, so, sorry. I was a complete ass. I’m sure she hates me, I’m sorry she’s angry at you too, it’s all my fault. Please tell Dorian I’m sorry as well, I never meant to cause friction._

He was going to be sick. He had fucked up so badly. Why the hell couldn’t he keep his mouth shut? Why did he always mess up good things? Why- his phone buzzed again, startling him for no good reason.

_B: Cullen I can feel you freaking out through the phone. Take a deep breath, calm down, and stop panicking. This is a temporary set back and when Dust’s had a chance to think about it I’m sure she’ll forgive you if you apologize. She’s a good woman or I wouldn’t have suggested you ask her out._

Cullen closed his eyes and took a couple deep breathes, as instructed. He concentrated on the smell of freshly mowed grass and the feeling of Bilbo’s wiry coat under his hand. It wasn’t a perfect solution at all, but it at least loosened the knot in his stomach. Bull was honestly a bit like a giant, walking, anti-anxiety med, even through a text message - he had no problem re-assuring Cullen that things were going to be ok, and he didn’t laugh at Cullen’s occasionally totally groundless anxieties.

He had meds back in his bag at Puppy Love, but being mildly out of it while surrounded by rambunctious animals and occasionally snooty owners wasn’t his favorite thing. If he could get himself back under control, he’d hold off. It had taken him a long time to adjust to the fact that medication was going to be a permanent part of his life, but he’d spent enough time in therapy to accept it, if grudgingly. His phone vibrated again and he looked down to see Bull’s final message.

_B: On the plus side she said you two made out on the porch, so I also want some details there. A+ for initiative, D- for conversational choices._

The message was followed by a whole line of thumbs up emojis, followed by another line of thumbs down ones.

Cullen laughed, and if it had a little edge of hysteria to it, at least it was better than being a hyperventilating mess in public. He played a bit more with the Graduate Students, throwing a frisbee and a couple tennis balls around, before hooking them all back up to their leads and shoving their toys into his backpack for the two mile trek back to the shop. The air was warming up and he could feel a bit of sweat making his t-shirt cling to his back. Which of course made him think of Dust’s hands moving up his back, her body pressed against him as she made encouraging noises and her  _lips…_

He groaned again, and was deeply grateful no one was there to hear it.  _I’m sure she’ll forgive you if you apologize._  He definitely needed to apologize. Not just because he wanted to kiss her again, or because her hair was amazingly soft. Definitely not because of the little whimpering sound she made when he brushed over the ridge of her ear - a sound that had been playing on loop in the back of his head while he mentally chastised himself for every stupid thing that came out of his mouth. He needed to apologize because he’d been rude and made assumptions and she was right - it was shitty that he asked her out just because Mia was coming.

He just needed to figure out the logistics of apologizing to someone who had made it pretty clear that she didn’t want to speak to him again, possibly ever. He was still trying to decide what to do as he got all of the dogs settled in the bigger of the two playrooms and wandered into the break room for some coffee. He found Anders and Merrill sitting at the table laughing over something on Anders’ giant smart phone screen. Cullen had forgotten it was clinic day, which meant there would be one more person to hear the tale of his painfully eventful evening, whether he wanted them to or not. Perfect.

“Hey Culls.” Anders said with a smile. He was wearing scrubs, glasses falling down his long nose a bit, hair pulled back in a small half ponytail. He had a large mug of coffee in front of him and the remains of what might have been a croissant from all the flaky crumbs. Cullen envied the veterinarian the ability to eat virtually anything, in incredible quantities, and still stay thin. “I hear you had a date last night.”

“Garrett said I should wait until this morning to ask you and not text you last night in case you were getting lucky. Did you get lucky Cullen?” Merrill’s question was chirped cheerfully at him with such hope that he felt like a complete douche for how much he wanted to duct tape her adorable mouth shut.

“Only if you count bad luck.” He admitted with a sigh, heading to the coffee pot. There was a pink box next to it, full of assorted danishes, not doubt thanks to Anders, who insisted on feeding people constantly. Cullen eyed them longingly and then remembered how snug his jeans had felt last night after all the food from Flemenco. And that was  _before_ Dust decided to do an imitation of a sexy rashvine while they kissed.

He could practically hear Anders and Merrill exchanging glances behind him, which he studiously ignored as he doctored his coffee with almond milk and artificial sweetener.

“Didn’t hit it off?” Anders asked, sympathetic.

Cullen took a seat across from them at the kitchen table and sighed. He might as well tell them, word travelled like wildfire through their circle of friends, there was no hiding things for long, especially not  _embarrassing_ things.

“It was going fine until I basically put my foot in it and made a complete ass of myself and admitted I only asked her out because Mia’s coming to town and I was feeling desperate.”

They gave him matching horrified looks.

“Oh Cullen,  _no_.” Merrill said softly.

“I  _know!_ ” He replied, letting his head fall down with a thump on the table. “We were kissing when I told her.”

“Maker Cullen,  _really?_ ” Anders sounded pained. “That’s Carver level bad Cullen. You’ve been hanging around the Hawkes too long, we need to get you away from them immediately.”

“You only asked Dust out because Mia is coming? Why would you not ask her out because she’s pretty and smells nice and volunteers at the kitty rescue?” He looked up at Merrill who was looking utterly perplexed. He couldn’t blame her at all, he didn’t know what was wrong with him either.

“Wait… You asked out Dust?” Anders asked, voice incredulous. “Dust Lavellan? The same Dust who dated Isabela? Not only dated her but kept her completely monogamous for six months?  _That_ Dust? And she said  _yes?_ ” The genuine shock in Anders’ voice was not at all flattering and Cullen glared. Anders didn’t even  _pretend_ to look sorry.

“Was she very angry Cullen? Did you apologize?” Merrill’s big green eyes were full of concern and sympathy. He really liked Merrill, she was always nice, even when he was being an utter failure of a human being.

“I didn’t really have a chance. She thanked me for dinner, told me she didn’t want to do it again, then said goodnight and went inside.”

“Ouch.” Anders said.

“And apparently she was so pissed this morning I think she might have kicked Bull out of their house.”

Anders whistled, Cullen groaned yet again, and Merrill came and sat beside him to rub his back very gently.

“Cullen?” Merrill asked gently.

“Mmm?” She was scratching his back now, and even guilt, misery, and anxiety couldn’t resist the power of back scritches.

“Is she a good kisser? I think she’d be a good kisser, her lips look very soft.”

He was going to cry. He was also getting an entire roll of duct tape for Merrill and her painfully innocent questions.

“So good.” He said despairingly.

“You are screwed Culls. And not in the good way.” Anders also needed duct tape.

“I have to find a way to apologize. Bull thinks she’ll forgive me if I apologize. I don’t think she wants to talk to me though.”

“Maybe you could text her?” Merrill suggested sweetly.

“Maybe you could buy half a flower shop and send it to her?” Anders suggested, more practically.

“Oh I like that plan better, do that!” Merrill said. “Flowers are so nice.”

“I’m going to talk to Bull about it tonight. Knowing my luck I’d send her something she was allergic to.”

“Mmm… good plan.” Anders said.

“Yes, I agree, that’s a lovely idea, he can help. Maybe Dorian too.” Cullen sat up and Merrill rubbed his shoulders and leaned a little bit closer, eyes sparkling. “Now tell us all about this kiss please.”


	6. Mistakes and Massages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zevran plays Dust like a fiddle and Alistair is crowned Best Ferelden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter JUST KEPT GOING, but I don't want to split it because I feel like these two parts belong together. Also I'm kind of torn on the rating, like maybe I should make it mature for all the sex talk? Any input? It will probably just eventually go right to E, because I have a hard time NOT writing smut, but in the meantime I'm just not sure.
> 
> OK, so a couple things to mention in this chapter. There's some playful ass slapping on Zev's part that's kind of non consensual since he didn't ask first, but is very in keeping with his relationship with Dust. Still, a heads up if that kind of things isn't your bag. 
> 
> Also Cullen (sort of) mixes alcohol and anxiety meds. I am in no way suggesting that's a good idea (or condemning it for that matter) but it's part of the story.
> 
> Oh and as always this is unbeta'd because it's just my self indulgent side project and I'm too impatient to wait on posting chapters.

Two hours at the gym, a trip home to find the townhouse empty, and a half hour ride to work did nothing to alleviate Dust’s temper. She opened the door to the Painted Crow and stalked into the back room to stow her crap.

“Oh Fen’harel’s balls, don’t you two have an entire apartment to do that in?” Alistair was sitting on one of the leather armchairs with Zevran straddling him, the two of them kissing as if their lives depended on it.

“Good morning  _querida_. How did the date go?” Zevran didn’t look the least abashed, speaking calmly to her over his shoulder while Alistair blushed like a tomato. It reminded her of Cullen which just fueled her continued annoyance.

“I brought you coffee, it’s on your desk in the studio.” Alistair volunteered. Dust made a sharp turn on the ball of her foot and headed back out into the main work area and snatched up the large, purple, cardboard cup perched on her drawing desk. She stalked back into the other room and flopped down on one of the other armchairs, taking a few cautious sips of the hot liquid. Raspberry mocha, extra chocolate, with chocolate whip. Alistair was obviously the only good Ferelden.

Zev had shifted so he was sitting more comfortably in Alistair’s lap, head tucked back against the human’s broad shoulder. She resisted the urge to sneer. Zevran and Alistair were not to blame for her annoyance, and it wasn’t fair to take it out on them, no matter how tempting it was. Also she had to admit they were really hot together.

“The date was going swimmingly until he confessed he only asked me out to avoid having his sister play matchmaker when she comes to visit next week. Also, apparently he thought I was some kind of petty criminal, but desperation made him ask me out anyway. He told me this during a make out session on my porch.” She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the chair with a noise of frustration. “Dating is absolute bullshit, I’m going back to one night stands.”

Zevran chuckled and Alistair gave a low whistle of appreciation.

“To be fair,” Zevran said calmly, “you  _were_ a petty criminal for a time.”

“Not by fucking  _choice_ Zev!” She sat up in her chair, glaring at him. “I did what I had to for survival, it’s not like I was robbing banks and murdering children!”

“Yes, but perhaps it makes you a little more sensitive, no?” He was totally unphased by her continuing glare. “You did lie to him, regularly, can you blame him for taking you at your word?”

No, that was entirely too much. She jumped up from the chair, too angry to stay still, wincing as nearly every muscle from her waist down cried out in protest. She had been too impatient and grumpy to stretch properly after her workout. She was going to need quality time with a foam roller when the work day was over if she wanted to walk that evening, let alone skate.

“I wasn’t lying Zev, I was  _joking!_  And he never bothered to fucking ask, or show any interest until two days ago. He asked me out because he’s scared of his  _sister_ for Mythal’s sake!”

“Well that is perfect, he is used to terrifying women!” Zevran grinned cheekily at her and Alistair made a choked noise that was obviously him swallowing a laugh. She put her coffee down very carefully on one of the small tables between the chairs and pointed at Zevran.

“You are an asshole. You’re supposed to be on my side Zev!”

“I  _am_ on your side, but that doesn’t mean I will let you make a martyr of yourself, it is very boring and you are not even Andrastian. Did you express any interest in Cullen yourself before he asked you out? I do not recall ever hearing you mention him except in passing, rather like one mentions a couch, or someone’s pet.”

Anger and guilt were such an unpleasant combination. She scowled at Zevran. Damn him, she hated when he made logical points, it was completely unattractive. He simply smiled at her with those warm brown eyes, waiting for her to catch up to her own mistakes. She plopped back down in her chair and put her feet up on the coffee table.

“Fuck you.” She said, feeling mullish and sore.

“Not anymore,  _querida_.” Zev replied, voice a purr. She didn’t miss Alistair holding the other elf just a little tighter in his lap. It was still weird seeing Zevran let someone be so… clingy, even after watching them date for nearly a year.

“So wait… you went on a date with someone named Cullen?” Alistair asked. “His last name isn’t Rutherford is it?”

“Yes?” She blinked at Alistair who looked like he had just discovered some kind of long lost treasure. “You know him?”

“Holy crap, I went to high school with him! He was on the football team with me, but I haven’t seen him in years.”

Zevran and Dust made matching expressions of distaste at the mention of “football.” The mutant Ferelden version didn’t even involve feet, just a lot of throwing and yelling and men crashing into each other.

“What a delightfully small world  _mi amor_.” Zevran said indulgently, running his fingers through Alistair’s strawberry blond hair.

“Is his sister Mia the one who’s coming to visit?” Alistair asked, unable to keep his eyelids from drooping a bit with Zev’s fingers in his hair.

“How would you even know that?” Dust asked suspiciously.

“Wishful thinking.” Alistair said with that goofy smile of his. “I had the  _worst_ crush on Mia Rutherford as a kid. She was glorious and terrifying. Can’t blame Cullen for being scared, she ran Honnleath High like she was the Empress of Orlais. Student body president, homecoming queen, prom queen, debate team, captain of the girls soccer team  _and_ the swim team. She had the entire staff and faculty eating out of her hand by the time she graduated. The only thing Cullen managed to do that his sister hadn’t was be quarterback for the varsity football team.”

“So… what, his sister gave him an inferiority complex?” OK it was maybe a  _little_ embarrassing that she was finding out more about Cullen from Alistair than from the man himself. In her defense at least she knew what he did for a living… because Hawke had told her, not because she’d ever asked.  _I hate it when Zevran is right._

“Cullen? Void no, he was totally competitive. Also student body president, homecoming king, prom king, quarterback. Oh he did chess team instead of debate team, I remember it was one of the only things he could beat her at. He also didn’t like arguing as much as Mia did. We were freshmen when she was a senior. He was never quite as… I dunno, regal as Mia was. It was seriously like seeing a goddess when she walked down the hall.”

“Ahem, should I be jealous of this goddess?” Zevran was smiling indulgently, but she had known him long enough to see just a hint of annoyance in the creasing at the corner of his eyes. Zev wasn’t the jealous type really; Creators knew he didn’t have any trouble sharing in the bedroom,  that was how she had met Isabela, after all. But he  _did_ like to be the center of attention, especially with Alistair. She reached for her coffee and sipped at it to hide her amusement. It had cooled down to the perfect temperature, and the whipped cream had started to melt into it. She resisted the urge to moan - Bodahn’s coffee was right up there with sex and skates on her favorite things list.

“Haha, not a chance! I didn’t have the courage to talk to her then, and I don’t have the interest now.” Alistair smiled that sweet, goofy, desperate smile at Zevran. Zev smiled back with that strange new smile of his, serious, and a bit awed, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening. It was so fucking nauseatingly cute she wanted to throw her coffee over them, but that would waste good caffeine.

“OK, messaged received, Cullen isn’t evil, just awkward. I’m going to go now before you get any more of your gross domestic monogamy cooties on me.” She stood up and stifled a groan as her muscles protested yet again. She was getting stiff.

“Not so fast  _querida_ , you did not stretch, did you?” Zevran asked like he knew the answer to his question already, and didn’t approve. She sighed.

_Caught, damnit._

“Too many dudebros and gross old human men. They leave me alone on the weights but when I start stretching they not only stare, they want to fucking  _talk_ to me. I was trying to avoid putting anyone in the hospital, thanks.”

Zevran and Alistair both laughed.

“ _Porbrecito_.” Zevran shook his head, expression sympathetic. “I will fix this and you will be ready to take on the world, including apologizing to Cullen.”

She gave an indignant squawk she recognized as something she had picked up from Dorian.

“ _¡Mira qué cabrón!_  I am not apologizing to Cullen! I might apologize to Bull, but Cullen can suck an entire bag of dicks.”

Alistair burst out laughing as Zevran grinned.

“Where exactly does one  _get_ an entire bag of dicks?” Alistair asked.

“Well I’ve got two right here in front of me, I could always start there.” She responded testily.

“You are so adorable when you pout,  _querida_.”

“Adorable? Really? That’s a low blow, Zev.”

Zevran laughed as he stood and stretched, snug black t-shirt lifting to reveal a bit of muscular stomach. He reached out and gently turned her by the shoulders, pushing her towards the working area where the massage tables they used for tattooing occasionally also got used for their original purpose when Zevran was in the mood.

“I will massage all those lovely sore muscles of yours, and you shall be very relaxed and ready for making beautiful art on people all day, yes?”

“No!” she said, digging in her heels. “I know you, I know how this works, you’re going to reduce me to a moaning puddle of goo, and then you’ll convince me to be nice to people I don’t want to be nice to. It’s not fair Zev, I want to stay angry. I like angry. It works for me!” She knew it was a lost cause, and knew she was whining, but she had to put up at least some semblance of a fight. She could hear Alistair get up and start following them, as Zevran shifted his hands down to her hips, digging strong thumbs into the tight muscles of her lower back. She gave a faint moan and started walking again, giving up even the pretense of arguing.

“Did I mention I also got you a chocolate croissant?” Alistair interjected from behind them. The battle was completely lost.

“Alistair, you are the only good thing to ever come out of Ferelden. I have decided to give you Zevran’s hand in marriage as a reward.” She gestured magnanimously to Zevran as she stepped into the curtained alcove of his working area, a rainbow of neatly arranged inks and art prints, photographs, and random curios from trips. She toed off her beat up Vans and unzipped her jeans. Today they were loose, ripped and beaten up instead of her skin tight date jeans.

“Awww, I feel so loved. And all it took was bribery.” Alistair was very slowly adjusting to the casual nudity she and Zevran were comfortable with, but when her shirt and sports bra came off, leaving her in nothing but boy shorts and bruises, he averted his eyes and blushed. She was willing to admit that when  _Alistair_ did it, it was cute.

“Now now  _querida_ , let us remember that I may be easy, but I am not  _cheap_. You should make him get you at least a dozen chocolate croissants before you give him my hand in marriage.” He was opening one of his cabinets to pull out massage oil and she hopped up onto the blanket covered table, grabbing the controls to turn on the heat.

“ _Que lindo, chulo._ And right back at you. If you want me to apologize to people this had better be an  _amazing_ massage.”

Zevran slapped her ass right over the heart shaped bruise, partly visible under the edge of her underwear. She yelped angrily and her whole body tensed up, which actually hurt more than the slap. She let out a blistering stream of curses in every language she could thinks of, glaring over her shoulder at Zevran, who was grinning wickedly. She could hear Alistair trying to choke down laughter behind her.

“The  _fuck_ Zev?”

“Never belittle my skills  _querida_.  _Everything_ I do is amazing.” He pulled her panties down to examine her bruise more closely. “Also, this bruise is very impressive, how did you manage to get it shaped like a heart?”

“Ask your  _mother_.” She replied, grinning nastily.

Zevran was still chuckling when he went to work on her hamstrings.

* * *

“Flowers? Anders suggested flowers. Well actually Anders suggested half a flower shop, but that seems like it might just be annoying.” Cullen had made it through a full day at work and a second explanation of his massive date failure to Hawke, who had at least  _tried_ not to laugh. He got home before Bull and took one of his anxiety pills, then played some online chess. It was so soothing he had ended up nodding off in his computer chair until Bull and Dorian had arrived with a lot of pizza and an even larger amount of wine.

“Ugh, as I must share pace with her I’m vetoing flowers, definitely that  _many_ flowers.” Dorian was eating his pizza with a knife and fork, just like he ate his burritos, and Bull was giving him the sappiest look Cullen had ever seen on his roommate’s face.

“I don’t care about  _you_ Dorian, I just want to know if they would work!” They had started on the wine first, and since Cullen didn’t need to drive anywhere he was not being conservative with his drinking. He preferred white wine, but Dorian insisted on red with pizza. The warm fuzziness of the wine was making it easier to get out of his head a bit. It helped that Dorian had been sympathetic instead of angry.

“Rude!” Dorian squawked, and Bull laughed.

“It isn’t  _your_ pants he’s trying to get into kadan.” Bull was on his fifth slice of pizza with no sign of slowing down. Cullen still wasn’t sure how anyone could eat ham and pineapple on pizza, but Bull loved it.

“Occupied territory…” Cullen muttered into his wine glass. Both Bull and Dorian laughed, though Dorian tried to turn his laugh into a cough.

“Culls, serious though kid, what were you thinking? I mean I’m all for honesty-”

“Ha!” Dorian interjected.

“OK, I’m mostly for honesty, but there’s honest and there’s tactless. I mean as long as you were getting along, why tell her you originally asked her out because of Mia?”

“Shit, Bull, I wasn’t  _thinking!_  She was kissing me, and then she was bleeding and the blood flow to my brain was a little impaired if you know what I mean.” Bull grinned at him like he was a proud parent.

“Wait… why on earth was Dust  _bleeding?_ ” The look Dorian shot him was suspicious and decidedly unfriendly.

“Uhh… her lip was split, and… I might have bitten her. Just a little!” He was already flushed with the wine, but he could feel his cheeks heating to near supernova levels.

“Fuck yeah!” Bull slapped him gently on the shoulder and Cullen ducked his head sheepishly.

Dorian leaned across the table and topped off Cullen’s wine with a smirk.

“Well, well, I didn’t think you had it in you Cullen.”

“I think he’d rather it was in  _her_.” Bull said suggestively. Cullen gave a snort of embarrassed amusement while Dorian rolled his eyes. Cullen took a large swallow of his wine, behavior that Dorian probably would have scolded him for if he hadn’t been lamenting Bull’s sense of humor.

“Well, my own preferences aside, I’d say Dust is fairly indifferent to flowers. She thinks they’re pretty, but if you want to give her something she enjoys, I suggest chocolate, the darker the better.”

“OK… chocolate. I can do that. Where do I go to get good chocolate?” He didn’t normally buy chocolate because he didn’t want to risk the dogs getting any of it accidentally.

Whatever Dorian might have answered was interrupted by the doorbell. Cullen looked down at the table confused. It couldn’t be the pizza man, they already had pizza. Bull obviously picked up his confusion because he levered himself out of one of the sturdy dining room chairs with a laugh. All of their furniture was sturdy.

“I’ll get it kid, you and Dorian figure out the chocolate situation.”

Dorian came around the table and sat next to Cullen, pizza abandoned but wine still in hand. His thumb, wrapped in a gold ring shaped like a snake, with shiny black nail polish, was flying furiously over his phone screen as he reached over to show Cullen something. Cullen blinked at a picture of a box of chocolates that looked more like tiny pieces of art than food.

“Oh hey Dust, didn’t really expect to see you here.”

Cullen froze at the sound of Bull’s voice, sobering up with a shocking and terrifying quickness as his heart rate sky rocketed. There was a kind of roaring in his ears and he didn’t hear what Dust said before she walked into their house. She was wearing the black leather jacket from the night before, a beat up of pair of motorcycle boots, and snug black jeans.

“Hey.” She said waving at the room in general.

“I’m truly shocked you’ve chosen to grace us with your presence.” Dorian said dryly, taking another sip of wine and nudging Cullen under the table with his foot.

“Yeah… about that.” She took a deep breath. “Cullen, I’m sorry I got so pissed at you and didn’t give you a chance to explain, and I’m sorry I lied about all my injuries. I still think it was shitty to ask me out just because your sister is coming to town, but I had a good time and I like you.”

Cullen didn’t even have time to come up with a proper response before she had turned to Bull, grinning and punching him gently on one giant, bare bicep.

“Bull, you’re an ass, but I think you meant well and I’m mostly sorry I kicked you out of the house.”

“Mostly?” He asked, grinning down at her.

“Yeah, it was kind of funny seeing you look all meek and contrite, that was actually pretty worth feeling guilty for.” Bull laughed, obviously delighted. His roommate was so weird.

“And what about yours truly, don’t I get an apology?” Dorian asked.

“Pfft, you don’t deserve one, but since I’m feeling magnanimous…” She turned back to Bull. “Can you please give my friend a really good apology fuck as a proxy for me?”

Bull grinned and looked over his shoulder at Dorian who was simply staring open mouthed and blushing slightly. Cullen laughed and reached out to gently nudge his chin up. Dorian glared at him but he was too happy to be forgiven for his idiocy to care.

“Cullen can you walk me out?” Dust asked him, shooting him a tentative smile. “I’m running late to practice and Ink’s gonna kick my already very sore ass.”

“Uhh… sure.” He managed to get up without tripping over his own feet in his haste and walked toward her. Bull headed back to the table, giving Cullen a ridiculous one eyed wink on the way. Dust gave him a little smile and opened the door to let herself out. He closed the door behind them and followed her, barefoot, down the front walk to the curb where a sleek, black motorcycle was parked. When he got closer he could see that some kind of complicated pattern had been painted over the body of it in a mix of colors only slightly lighter than the black. It gave the illusion of a dark field of stars.

“It’s beautiful.” He said. He had no idea she rode a motorcycle, but this time he decided  _not_ to point that out. The helmet perched on the seat was matte black with a gorgeous crow painted on it, wings unfurled, hints of purple and green giving the illusion of iridescent feathers.

“Thank you, she’s my baby.” She smiled up at him. Her lip looked a bit better, but the bruise was back on her cheek, though it was starting to turn greenish yellow around the edges.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted out, suddenly desperate to explain himself. “I know I was awkward and came across like a complete dick, but I swear I didn’t think you were a criminal just because you’re an elf, and I know it was dumb to not ask you out sooner but I’m glad I did.”

She smiled gently at him but put one finger over his lip to stop the flow of words. His heart couldn’t seem to decide if it wanted to beat right out of his chest or stop altogether.

“It’s ok. I’m a little sensitive. I’m not saying you didn’t make some strange choices, but I’ve got some baggage that made it a little worse. And it’s not like I’ve been shooting you come hither looks for the past three months since Bela and I broke up.”

He nodded for lack of a better response.

“And now I’ve referenced my ex before our second date, so you can chalk one up to me on the awkward conversation front.” He laughed and reached up to take her her hand, lacing his fingers through hers like he had while they walked back from the restaurant.

“Is that your way of asking me out?” He teased, elated at his own cleverness.

“Well I was going to actually  _ask_ , but yes, basically.” She grinned, and the look in her eyes made heat pool in his belly.  _I am in_ completely  _over my head and it is glorious._  “After all we should probably have had more than one date before your sister gets here, for appearances.”

“Right… for appearances.” He was very aware of how warm her hand was, and how close they were standing, and how little effort it would take to lean forward and kiss her. He was close enough that he noticed she had taken her piercings back out, and she still smelled really, really good.

“Anyway, I realized I don’t even have your phone number.” She stepped back a bit and he resisted the urge to follow her. She pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket and swiped quickly then handed it to him with a mostly blank contact screen. “Give me your number and your email.”

“Noodle?” He asked, looking at the contact name, not sure whether to be confused or indignant. He let go of her hand reluctantly so he could begin entering his phone number.

“It’s your punishment. Plus I like your hair when it’s curly.” She stood on tiptoe, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair, gently scratching his scalp with short nails. He’d been too stressed and anxious to bother styling it that morning so it was a mass of unruly curls. His fingers stilled on the touch screen and his eyes shut entirely of their own volition.

“Mmm…” Was all he could manage to say. Her hand strayed to his neck, fingers digging into muscle slightly and then he felt the quick, soft press of her lips against his. He opened his eyes and she was already lowering herself back down with a little smirk.

“Finish putting in your info, Noodle, I have to go to practice.”

Cullen did as instructed, wine and arousal destroying any chance of intelligent conversation. He handed the phone back to Dust and she stowed it in back in her pocket, zipping it up. From a different zipper pocket she pulled out a pair of fingerless, black, leather gloves and pulled them on. She turned to grabbed her helmet and popped it on, the ends of her white ponytail sticking out the back. He couldn’t even pretend to himself that he wasn’t staring at the shape of her ass in her jeans. She threw her left leg over the bike, and his brain flashed to an image of her mounting him the same way. His face heated up so fast he might as well have been on fire.  _Maker’s breath…_

Pushing up the kickstand she stood with the bike balanced perfectly between muscular legs that seemed to go on for miles. She flipped back her visor and grinned at him.

“By the way, Alistair says hi.”

Before he could even channel that statement through his brain she had started her bike, a sound like the deep, growling purr of a big cat. She slipped her visor down and leaned forward, giving him a quick wave before shooting down the street, tail lights glowing like eyes.

He stumbled back into the house, grinning from ear to ear. Dorian and Bull were sitting on the couch attempting to look nonchalant, but he had no doubt they’d been peeking out the front window the entire time he’d been outside. He leaned over the couch and put his arms around them both, resting his flushed face on Bull’s massive shoulder.

“You two are the greatest friends in the world, and I love you.”


	7. Gossip and Giggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dust takes a shower and Cullen finds his love of nicknames. P.S. Dust absolutely bought those socks for Dorian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Inkuudi Adaar is maliwanhellfire's baby](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maliwanhellfire/pseuds/maliwanhellfire), and [Nira Lavellan is digitalgoddess's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/digitalgoddess/works). Both are used with their kind permission.
> 
> A note about elves in this world setting, because I'm not sure if it will come up in text - Nirah and Dust are not related. In my AU Elvhen clans are like Native American tribes/nations, so you can belong to a clan but not be related, and may live in a different clan range. Dust and Nirah are both Lavellan they way they might both be Cherokee or Choctaw. Since elves, especially Dalish elves, don't really go in for surnames. Same applies for Zevran and Merrill, so somewhere in Antiva is a Dalish Aranai clan. :)

Dust was thanking the Creators for Zev’s magic fingers by the time the Purritos’ practice was over that night. Everything ached. She felt old, and tired, and sweaty. She had no desire to head to the locker room and shower, instead she just laid on the track letting herself recover her breath, helmet abandoned next to her.

“All right, I want details!” Dust looked up (and up some more) at the sound of Inkuudi Adaar’s eager voice and groaned. Ink was young and brimming with energy and Dust was roughly one million years old and possibly dying. The lovely Vashoth had already showered, long white hair leaving damp patches on her Wonder Woman t-shirt.

“And I want booze and for someone to carry me to the showers, so we’re both shit out of luck kid.”

She realized her mistake when Inkuudi reached down and actually picked her up, shifting her into a bridal carry as Dust gave a little shriek. Someday she would remember that Ink was more than capable of carrying elves around like sacks of potatoes.

“Fen’harel’s balls Ink! You’re going to kill us both!”

Ink just laughed, grinning down at her, eyes bright.

“Sera’s got a flask in her bag in the locker room.”

“Don’t play with my emotions woman.” Dust said, narrowing her eyes.

“Captain’s honor!” Ink promised with a smile, starting to walk towards the locker rooms. Dust sighed… she could come back for her helmet later. The rest of the women in the locker room laughed when Ink walked in and deposited Dust, skates and all, on a bench in front of her locker.

Ink sat down next to her, demurely smoothing her blue circle skirt over her knees.

“Sera, I need the flask to get details out of Gravedust.”

Sera practically cackled as she dug in her massive duffel bag and pulled out a metal flask, handing it over to Ink with a grin before popping onto her girlfriend’s lap.

“All right Dustbunny, spill!” Sera ordered. Dust took the familiar flask and looked at it dubiously. She had a strong tolerance for alcohol but Sera kept some weird shit in her flask. Her “potions” as she called them were usually strong as hell and tasted like hard candies, except when they just tasted like burning. She unscrewed the top and took a swig, shutting her eyes tight. Candy. Raspberry candy… and burning. She replaced the cap and handed it back to Sera while her esophagus recovered.

“Not like there’s a lot of details just yet.” Dust said, voice rough from the strength of the booze.

“What we getting details on?” Shokrakar asked, stepping out of the showers wearing a towel entirely too small for her massive frame. Dust really did love those tiny towels. She grinned - possibly Sera’s potion was a little strong after a two hour practice.

“Dustbunny finally went on a date!” Sera informed her, bouncing excitedly in Ink’s lap.

“Really? It’s about time!” Nirah was brushing her long, brown hair, eyebrows raised inquiringly.

“There’s a betting pool on my sex life, isn’t there?” Dust asked with a sigh

“‘Course!” Sera said, patting her shoulder. “Ew, sweaty!”

Dust rolled her eyes and leaned forward to untie her skates.

“Nothing juicy yet. Cullen asked me out, I said yes, we had dinner, a bit of a make out, a wild misunderstanding, and we’re going out again this week.”

“Wild misunderstanding?” Ink asked.

Dust groaned as she struggled to get off her sweaty sports bra. How was it her arms felt like overcooked pasta when she spent the whole night exercising her legs? And why the hell didn’t she buy bras with hooks? After her second miserable whimper Shokrakar came over and helped her pull off the offending garment.

“Bless you, Shok.” Dust managed to get out of the rest of her clothes on her own, digging in her locker for her towel. She stuffed the gross, sweat soaked clothes in a plastic bag, grabbed her toiletries and stood back up with a groan. “Anyway, I’m getting in the shower, if you want more details you’ll have to hover.”

Unsurprisingly, Ink and Sera both followed her to the entrance of the showers, as did Nirah. Shokrakar didn’t but then Shok had exceptionally good hearing, so would probably catch the whole conversation. She waved at Harding, who was conditioning her long red hair, then claimed the stall closest to the locker room entrance.

“So Bull’s roommate Cullen asked me out, totally out of the blue. Turns out his sister’s coming into town and he’s kind of freaked about being single, but he never thought to ask me out, because he lo and behold, he actually believed all those stupid stories I told him about my bruises and shit. So basically I accused him of being racist and thinking I was a thug ‘cause of the pointy ears.”

“Oh no!” Ink popped her hand over her mouth in horror. She was such a sweetheart.

“Eh, he’s a shem, chances were good.” Nirah said calmly. Sera nodded - she might not have been big on “elfy” things, but she wasn’t blind to human prejudices.

“So is he?” Shokrakar asked, coming up behind the others.

“I don’t think so… least not about elves, and if he’s got a problem with Kossith he hides it well. I think he’s just kind of awkward and shy. Anyway, I saw him tonight and he was falling all over himself to apologize, and I said sorry, because as Zev so helpfully pointed out, I  _did_ lie to him for five months.” She moved under the stream of hot water with a noise of relief. The water pressure kind of sucked, but the hot water never ran out, and that was a compromise she could live with.

“Wait, you and Cullen?” Lace asked, turning off her own shower and wandering over to the group as she dried off. “Cullen actually asked you out? Maker I’m so proud of him, I should bake him cookies!”

Dust turned to look at her Harding questioningly as she grabbed her shampoo bar out of its pouch, lathering it up in her hands before she applied it to her hair.

“I don’t know what that says about me  _or_ Cullen, Harding.” She said, raising an eyebrow at the dwarf.

“Oh it’s just he’s really shy. I mean Krem and I have tried to kind of introduce him to people on the sly, but he just gets super quiet. It’s nice he felt comfortable enough to ask you out! You’d be good for him.”

“Mmm… well we’ll see, I want him to be good for  _me_ too.” She said, leaning back to rinse out her hair.

Nirah gave a laugh. “I’ll just bet you do.”

“You know me too well.” Dust said with a grin. Sera made a gagging noise.

“Whatcha want to go from Bela to a  _boy_ for?”

“Some of us like a little variety Bumble Bee.” Dust shrugged and started rubbing conditioner into her hair. “Plus making another woman follow in Bela’s boot steps would just be mean.”

“I think it’s nice! Nice that he asked you and nice that you worked out the disagreement. Are you going to meet his sister?” Ink was smiling, closet romantic that she was.

“Definitely not sure I’m ready to meet the family yet, but I have to admit kind of want to meet her. Apparently Alistair knows the whole Rutherford family, says Mia is like a force of nature. Described her as a goddess.”

“Wait… Cullen Rutherford?” Nirah’s brows drew together in concentration. “About 6’1”, blond hair, stubble, scar on his lip?”

Dust pulled her head back out from under the water to stare.

“OK seriously, Kirkwall has like what, 700,000 people? How the fuck does everyone know this guy?”

“It’s ‘cause only about  a hundred of us aren’t just big shites.” Sera volunteered.

“Huh… you know I buy that actually.” Dust responded. She turned her attention back to Nirah. “So how do  _you_ know him? If you slept with him I want details. Like can you feel the scar when he goes-”

“Ew, ew, ew, ew!! No!” Sera made gagging noises while the others laughed and Ink leaned down to kiss her girlfriend on the nose.  _Ugh, they’re even cuter than Zevran and Alistair._

“Sorry hon, can’t help you there, I met him through Delrin. They went to college together, were both on the football team. They get together to watch Templars games sometimes. Del’s his financial advisor for his business, helped him and Hawke get it off the ground.”

“I’m going to need a chart to keep track of all these fucking social connections, it’s ridiculous.”

“I don’t know any of these people.” Shokrakar volunteered helpfully.

“Actually you do Shok.” Dust said, giving herself one last rinse before turning off the water and wringing out her hair. “Hawke’s the tall bearded human who hangs out with Varric.”

“Oh, that one! Yes, he was good in bed.” Everyone stared silently.

“What?” Shok asked, obviously amused by the startled expressions around her. “Bartrand and I have never been exclusive.”

Dust laughed and shook her head. “I’m going to need a bigger chart.”

* * *

 

After they finished their pizza (Bull ate the entire pineapple and ham pizza, which shouldn’t have surprised Cullen, but did) the wine was replaced with weed, some kind of crazy good organic stuff that Bull had gotten from someone Skinner knew. He said it was called Snow Fox and that made Cullen think of Dust and grin.

Dorian took advantage of his newly declared best friend status by taking up most of their couch, his head in Bull’s lap, his feet in Cullen’s while the three of them watched a really ridiculous action movie on Netflix. Dorian wore incredibly cute socks, with a pattern of laughing skulls and lightning bolts, and he made funny noises when Cullen poked his feet. Bull just grinned whenever Dorian squeaked, and then Dorian kicked Cullen in the thigh. It was really nice. He was so relaxed he felt like he might just fall asleep on the couch and sleep the whole night through, which was a rarity for him.

He was half asleep when his phone vibrated in his bacl pocket, making him jump. Dorian made a muffled noise of complaint from the other side of the couch where he was necking with Bull. Cullen just shook his head, too relaxed to even blush. He pulled his phone out and stared for a moment at the text preview, not recognizing the number at all. It finally occurred to him to read the text, and then he grinned.

_Hey Noodle, it’s Dust._

“She texted me!” He crowed, shifting over to shove his phone screen in the general direction of Bull and Dorian, who stopped kissing long enough to blink fuzzily at his phone.

“Who the fuck is Noodle?” Bull asked.

“I am! I’m Noodle. She likes my hair curly.” Cullen grinned at them and the other two men laughed.

“That  _does_ sounds like Dust.” Dorian admitted, obviously amused. “Amatus why don’t we leave Cullen to enjoy his texting?”

“Good plan, kadan.” Dorian peeled himself off of Bull, sitting upright in the center seat of the couch and giving Cullen a pat on the leg. Bull stood and stretched, giving a deep growl of satisfaction when his back popped loudly.

“G’night!” Cullen said absently, trying to think of an appropriate name to give Dust in his phone.

“Have fun kid.” Bull said, pulling Dorian off the couch and guiding him toward the hallway that lead to Bull’s bedroom.

After careful consideration Cullen saved her in his phone under Snow Fox, feeling pleased at his choice of nickname.

_Noodle: Hey! How was practice?_

_Snow Fox: Long. I’m so damn sore. Also, turns out half my team knows you, which is kind of weird._

_Noodle: Really? That’s nice. Are they nice?_

_Snow Fox: Mmmm… I don’t know that I’d describe them all as nice, but they’re very fun._

_Noodle: Fun is good!_

There was a bit of a pause in texts, and he stared in fascination at the screen, watching the three little dots come and go as Dust typed.

_Snow Fox: lol Cullen are you drunk?_

_Noodle: Nope!_

_Snow Fox: High?_

_Noodle: Yup!_

_Snow Fox: Hahaha, ok, I was wondering if maybe Dorian had stolen your phone and was fucking with me._

_Noodle: Nope, he’s currently getting fucked by Bull. Or about to be, they went to Bull’s room._

Another pause while he watched the dots again. He stretched out on the couch, enjoying the warmth Dorian and Bull had left behind.

_Snow Fox: Well that’s not exactly a surprise. Anyway, turns out my teammate is engaged to one of your old college buddies. Delrin Barris ring a bell?_

_Noodle: Del! Del is great, he’s the only one from the team I still talk to._

_Snow Fox: Also Harding is very proud of you for asking me out._

Cullen laughed at the thought of Lace and Krem, always trying to set him up with people and thinking they were subtle about it.

_Noodle: I am too actually._

_Noodle: Well I am now that you’ve forgiven me._

_Noodle: And we’re gonna have a second date!_

_Snow Fox: You know, you’re pretty cute when you’re like this. I kind of want to see it in person._

_Noodle: Come over! :)_

_Snow Fox: Ha, sorry Noodle, I’m in my PJs and I have a date with ice cream and Lost Girl. Nothing is getting me back out of here._

_Noodle: Now I’m sad._

_Snow Fox: Awww, poor Noodle, don’t be sad, how about I take you out to lunch tomorrow? My first appointment isn’t until 2._

_Noodle: I eat lunch early, is that ok? 11._

_Snow Fox: Sure, I’ll eat whatever and whenever._

_Noodle: As long as there’s hot sauce?_

_Snow Fox: Ha, I keep some in my purse._

He burst into giggles at the thought of Dust pulling a huge bottle of hot sauce out of her tiny black purse.

_Snow Fox: Pick you up at your work?_

_Noodle: Yes! Can I ride your motorcycle?_

_Snow Fox: Let’s see how you feel about that tomorrow when you’re sober. I’ll bring an extra helmet._

_Noodle: OK. But it would be fun because then I get to touch you all over with a lot of me._

There was another long pause, but this time he didn’t see any little dots.  _Uh oh,_  he thought, nerves creeping through the happy haze the marijuana had left behind.

_Noodle: Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to be creepy._

_Snow Fox: Haha, no, that was cute. And hot. I just feel like I might be taking advantage of your impaired state, you might regret these texts in the morning._

He gave a sigh of relief, relaxing again and snuggling sleepily back against the couch cushions.

_Noodle: Nope, I like it when I’m like this. I don’t have to be so nervous. It’s annoying to always be so anxious about every damn thing._

_Snow Fox: Well, whatever makes you happy Noodle. Anyway, I barely slept last night, so I’m going to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow._

_Noodle: K! Merrill will be happy to see you, she likes how you smell. Me too._

_Snow Fox: lol good night Cullen, sweet dreams._

_Noodle: Night!_

After that he tried to watch the rest of the movie, but despite the explosions coming from the TV, and the moans and thumps beginning to make their way down the hall from Bull’s room, he was asleep in a matter of minutes. And for once he actually did have sweet dreams.


	8. Hawke and Hats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dust's thirst is REAL y'all - also Merrill continues to give me all the joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, you should know "times Dust was distracted by making out with Bela" is just going to be a thing, and I'm not even a little bit sorry.

_Dust: How dare you not tell me how fucking cute Cullen is when he’s stoned?_

_Bull: Oh you mean your Noodle? ;-p_

_Bull: Yeah, he’s pretty chill when he’s high, it’s good for the kid, he gets to let go a little._

_Dust: I was a little worried I was texting someone else entirely last night._

_Bull: Ha, yeah, he’s pretty different when he’s relaxed. BTW, he has you saved as Snow Fox in his phone now._

_Dust: Haha, you’re shitting me! He nicknamed me after Skinner’s crazy weed?_

_Bull: I can’t tell if it’s the hair, or the fact you relax him._

_Dust: Hmmm… we’re having lunch today, maybe I’ll ask him._

_Bull: Date two? Nice!_

_Dust: Assuming he doesn’t regret last night’s texts. He actually invited me over at one point._

_Bull: Oh shit, really? He was more relaxed than I thought!_

_Dust: Yes, well luckily I’m a good woman and don’t take advantage of innocent dog walkers. Also I had already put on my pajamas. :-p_

_Bull: Haha, well good luck today, next time I get him stoned I’ll invite you over if you promise to behave._

_Dust: Yeah, better not invite me then._

Dust spent the morning working at home sketching out pieces for upcoming clients, trying not to be distracted by thoughts of Cullen being adorably un-shy. She almost wished she had gone over at his invitation, but she had rules, and not having sex with drunk or high people was one of the most important ones, along with not hurting children and animals or letting Dorian pick her clothes.

Around ten she headed upstairs to consider her clothing options. She was torn between the comfort of her more casual clothes, and seeing that slightly stupefied look Cullen got when he saw her in tight pants. Deciding on a compromise she threw on her favorite leggings, grey with black skulls and flowers all over them, and a loose red tank top over her bra. She glanced at her bare face in the mirror, totally devoid of make up, and shrugged. Mascara was for special occasions and derby matches, not lunch with a guy.

She popped her piercings back in and headed downstairs. Grabbing her riding boots and a leather vest from the rack in the hall closet she zipped them on and gathered all her work stuff. She’d be a little early, but she didn’t think anyone at Puppy Love would care. She could always hang out with Merrill while she did her doggie whisperer thing.

Dust dug her spare helmet out of one of the cabinets in the small garage in case Cullen still wanted to ride with her. Dorian’s sleek sedan was still parked in the garage, meaning Bull would probably be back at their place that evening. Maybe she’d see if Cullen was interested in her coming over when he  _wasn’t_  high as a kite.Tossing her work bag into one of the saddlebags and the strapping the spare helmet to the passenger pillion, she popped the garage door button and headed out.

The ride over was nice. The Kirkwall heat wasn’t too oppressive just yet, though she’d be glad of her tank top before the afternoon was over. Puppy Love was technically in Lowtown, where land and housing were cheaper, but it was right on the edge of Hightown to attract customers willing to spend mad cash on their dogs. It was about halfway between her place and the Painted Crow, which was convenient.

A twenty minute ride later she was pulling into the tiny parking lot with a roar. She hopped off nimbly, and set her helmet on her seat. She felt eyes on her and turned to find a pretty brunette human staring at her open mouthed as she clutched a tiny, beribboned dog and a designer bag to her chest. Dust gave the woman a feral smile and a wink before sauntering toward the entrance. There might come a day when she got tired of scaring snobby humans, but today was not that day.

The entrance of Puppy Love couldn’t be called anything but cute. Painted a cheerful light blue and decorated with photos of dogs in flower crowns, there were small tables of merchandise such as glittering collars and heart shaped food dishes. Two large yellow and white polka dotted arm chairs were carefully placed near the window, which was decorated with gauzy white curtains. The floor had a large carpet shaped like a bone, dishes of water in varying sizes, and several fluffy dog beds. Between the armchairs sat a small table with a pitcher of iced tea, glasses, and a plate of Orlesian macarons.

Dust had to admit someone knew their audience. The average wealthy Hightowner would eat that shit up. She suspected the back was a little more practical, but the lobby was there to draw in people and not dogs. The check in counter had a tablet displaying a screen that welcomed her to Puppy Love and invited her to sign in. She peeked behind the counter to see a neat desk, and a small dog that looked like a fox curled up on a dog bed. It looked at her, yawned, and padded off through a doggy flap in a door marked Staff Only.

There was a door leading back to the space behind the counter that said “Pups only beyond this point!” She checked the handle to be sure it was locked from the front. Amused, and not one to be kept out by a mere locked door, she hoisted herself onto the counter, careful of the electronics and reached over to to open it from the back. First barrier down, she headed back through the Staff Only door.

She ended up in a long hallway with cement floors and more of the beflowered dogs on the wall. The small dog had disappeared, but she heard a masculine voice laughing and followed it curiously. She ended up at an open door where Cullen was laying on an astroturf covered floor wrestling with two huge dogs. He was growling and imitating their barks in a way that was so utterly ridiculous it shot right past embarrassing and into adorable. The dogs responded enthusiastically, pawing at his chest and licking his face, making him laugh loudly. It also pulled up his shirt and gave her a glimpse of dark blond hair against pale skin trailing down past the waistline of his jeans. She grinned, feeling a sudden affinity for dogs.

She quietly crossed over to him as he pretended to play dead, holding perfectly still and letting the dogs lick him. She wrinkled her nose - he was definitely washing his face before their date, she was not kissing dog drool face. The dogs caught sight of her before Cullen did, looking up at her cautiously. One abandoned Cullen to come over and sniff very cautiously at her boots, and the other one stayed in place with its massive paws on Cullen’s chest, looking at her suspiciously. Dogs, especially big dogs, tended to be cautious around her. Hawke said it was because they sensed a cat lover, but Anders insisted it was because she gave off “alpha vibes.” She thought they were both full of crap.

“Well being slobbered to death is one way to get out of a date.” She said, grinning down at Cullen.

His eyes popped open and he immediately tried to sit up, apparently forgetting he was being held down by about eighty pounds of dog.

“Dust!” He said, voice high with surprise. He blushed scarlet. She laughed and walked forward standing with one foot on either side of his hips. The dog looked at her suspiciously but didn’t make any aggressive movements, so she leaned down, fully aware that she was giving Cullen an excellent view of her cleavage, made more impressive than normal with a push up bra. Her hair, which she hadn’t bothered to put up, was falling over her shoulder, long enough to almost brush his chest.

“I know I’m early, but do you think your friend here will let you up? Or I could always come down there.”

Cullen’s blush stayed in place and he swallowed. She watched his Maker’s apple bob with perhaps a bit more interest than she should have.

“Down Leia.” He managed to croak out, and the protective dog shifted off of him, sitting up and watching them intently. He smiled shyly up at Dust and she had the strongest urge to drop right down on the floor and start kissing him, dog drool and all.

“Hey Culls I saw Dust’s motorcycle but I can’t - oh hey Dust’s ass!” Shaking her head she offered Cullen a hand up, flipping Hawke off with her other one. Cullen smirked and let her help him up. She liked that he trusted her to actually take some of his weight, not just hold his hand.

The other dog went bounding over to Hawke, who was leaning in the doorway, shit eating grin firmly in place. Cullen tugged his shirt down and she gave a small internal sigh at the loss of his treasure trail. He ran his fingers nervously through his hair, which was curly again, and rubbed at the back of his neck.

“I’m.. uh… I’m gonna go clean up.” He said. “Wanna wait in the lobby?”

“Nah.” She said with a laugh. “I’ll just scare your customers. You got a break room?”

“I’ll take you!” Hawke volunteered. Dust rolled her eyes. Cullen shifted and she realized she was still holding his hand. She let go reluctantly and patted his arm.

“Think about where you want to grab lunch while you clean up.” She turned to Hawke. “Better plan, take me to wherever Merrill is, I want to say hi.”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re just nervous about being alone with my magnificent manly presence?” Hawke asked. Cullen gave a snort of derision and she laughed - Hawke scowled theatrically at both of them. “You just can’t handle the Hawkeness.”

“I have zero interest in handling anything of yours Hawke, especially not your Hawkeness. But I hear  _Shokrakar_ was up for it.” To her utter delight, Hawke’s cheeks went bright pink, visible even with his beard.

“Wait… Bartrand’s girlfriend Shokrakar? Shokrakar who looks like she could take  _Bull_ in a fight?” Cullen’s voice sounded a mix of horrified and awed.

“That would be the one.” She said. “I didn’t realize you’d met.”

“Not exactly met so much as ‘stared at from a respectful distance’ at one of Varric’s parties.” He smirked again, this time at Hawke, and Dust found she really liked that smirk. In fact, her imagination was providing some lovely suggestions about what he might look like in  _just_ that smirk. “Apparently Hawke’s definition of a respectful distance was a lot smaller than mine.”

“Weren’t you going to go wash drool off your face, Curly? And didn’t  _you_ want to talk to Merrill?” Hawke’s face was the most delightful mix of discomfort and pride she had ever seen.

“I’ll come find you in a few minutes.” Cullen told her, heading out past Hawke.

“She said you were good in bed.” She told Hawke after she figured Cullen was out of earshot.

“Of course I am!” Hawke said, but she saw the blush come back. “Come on, Merrill is outside in the yard. Luke, Leia, come with daddy.”

The two giant dogs trotted over to Hawke eagerly.

“What  _are_ those things Hawke? I thought you guys took care of dogs, not ponies.”

“Excuse you, Luke and Leia are purebred mabari! Don’t you recognize them from my party?”

“No, pretty sure I’d have remembered monster dogs. Then again I spent a good portion of that party in your bed on my knees between Bela’s legs so I might have been distracted...” She grinned up at Hawke who made a pained noise.

“You are an evil, evil woman. Possibly a demon. I don’t think Cullen is safe with you.”

“Creators, I hope not.”

Hawke laughed as he opened a door leading to a long, narrow yard strewn with dogs, dog toys, and what might have been some kind of doggy obstacle course. Merrill sat in the midst of chaos on a little folding chaise lounge, reading out loud to a couple of small dogs. She was wearing a bright yellow sundress and a large straw hat with pink flowers, looking like the cutest thing the Creators had ever made.

“Mythal’s mercy, Merrill, you’re killing me with your cuteness!” Merrill looked up, charmingly confused, and then gave a big smile.

“Dust! It’s so lovely to see you, are you here for Cullen?” Merrill hopped up, scattering book and dogs and wrapped Dust in a tight hug, smacking her lightly in the face with her hat. Dust laughed and grabbed it off the other woman’s head, pulling back and depositing it on her own unruly locks. Merrill had recently had her hair cut into a short pixie, and it made her almost unbearably cute. She grinned and reached up to straighten the sun hat on Dust’s head.

“I’m taking him to lunch for our second date. He went to wash his face off, which is good because he was definitely not getting make outs while covered in dog drool.”

“Oooh, you’re going to kiss him again? Does his stubble make your lips itchy? I’ve kissed Hawke and his beard is soft, but when I kiss Anders he makes my lips itchy.”

“Hmm… I didn’t notice the first time, but I’ll let you know.” She turned to Hawke who was laughing behind them. “And just when did you kiss our precious Daisy?”

“Oh we always kiss on First Day Eve!” Merrill announced cheerfully, and Hawke nodded. “I kiss everyone who’s at Varric’s party. Don’t you remember? You were there last year! You and Izzy made out for a half hour, I checked the clock. And then you both kissed me at the same time!’

Hawke’s laughter had turned hysterical and his dogs were looking concerned. Dust could feel her face heating up - she didn’t remember much about that party  _except_ kissing, but she had thought it had all been Bela. Champagne had always been her alcoholic downfall.

“Uhh… sorry Merrill, I had a lot of champagne that night, I don’t really remember much about it. Was it a good kiss at least?” She asked, laughing ruefully.

“Oh yes, it was lovely, you and Bela are good kissers and you have very soft lips!”

That was, of course, the exact moment that Cullen arrived, curls slightly damp around his hairline, with a red and black plaid shirt over his t-shirt.  _Oh Creators._ He looked at them inquiringly, blinking at Dust in Merrill’s sunhat and giving hysterical Hawke a suspicious glance.

“Did I miss something?” He asked.

“Oh we were talking about kissing. Dust is a very good kisser, don’t you think Cullen?” Merrill chirped, obviously pleased to have a topic to share. “She says your stubble didn’t make her lips itchy.”

Dust was torn between wanting to laugh as hysterically as Hawke and wanting to grab Cullen and pull him away before his blushing made his head explode. To her surprise, while he did turn nearly as red as his shirt, he met her eyes with that little smirk of his that pulled at his scar.

“I do think she’s a good kisser and I’m glad my stubble doesn’t bother her. I’d shave though, if it made her kiss me again.”

Hawke stopped laughing and looked at Cullen as if he’d grown a second head. Merrill laughed and clapped her hands. Dust stared at Cullen for a moment, feeling the weirdest mix of pride, arousal and… honestly she wasn’t even sure what the other feeling was, but it made her heart beat too fast. Before she could think too hard about it she walked forward, slipped her fingers into Cullen’s hair, and pulled him down until their lips met.

She could feel him smiling against her mouth, lips open, and she darted her tongue between them. He made a small, pleased noise and placed his hands gently on her waist, not pulling her closer, just steadying himself as her tongue explored his mouth. His hair was silky soft under her fingers, his hands warm. He tasted faintly of the fake cinnamon flavor she associated with sugarless gum, and the prickle of his stubble on her lips was a pleasant kind of pain. She pulled back slightly, catching his top lip between her teeth and running her tongue over the ropy texture of his scar.

He gasped against her mouth and wrapped his arms tight around her, pulling her in until she was pressed against his chest and her toes were barely touching the ground. She tilted her head back and to the side, an obvious invitation and he took it, tongue plunging into her mouth with a kind of purpose and precision that made her toes curl in her boots.  _Oh, I am in so much trouble._

Her brain kicked back in at the sound of camera phone going off. Pulling away just far enough to scowl in the direction of the sound she found Hawke holding up his phone, grinning unrepentantly, while Merrill was practically bouncing with excitement next to him.

“Hawke I will fucking  _end you_  if that shows up on any social media platform.” Dust growled.

“Oh no, I’m not sharing this for free! I’m going to get drinks off of this for weeks.”

“Hawke.” Cullen’s hands clenched in her shirt, and she felt his whole body tense. He sounded incredibly serious and she tilted back to look at his face. His jaw was clenched so hard it looked painful. She glanced back over to Hawke, who’s face was quickly losing it’s grin. The moment stretched for a few tense heartbeats, then Hawke nodded and poked at his phone a couple times.

“Deleted. You two go grab lunch, we’ll hold down the fort.  _If_ you can manage to get untangled.” And there was the signature Hawke grin back again. Cullen relaxed against her with a chuckle, releasing her shirt and absently smoothing it over her back. To her surprise he pulled her into a tight hug.

“Sorry.” He whispered in her ear. His warm breath ghosting over the rim of sensitive flesh made her shiver and she had to hold back a little moan.  _So, so much trouble._

“S’ok.” She managed to get out. His grip loosened and she got her feet firmly on the ground again, and didn’t that feel like a fucking metaphor? This date was already getting out of hand and it hadn’t even technically started yet. She noticed Merrill’s sunhat on the ground and swooped down to grab it, walking over to Merrill and setting it carefully on her head. Merrill’s green eyes were practically glittering with delight.

“I can officially state that I do not mind the stubble.” She told Merrill solemnly.

“I noticed.” Merrill giggled.

She turned and stuck her tongue out at Hawke, who winked at her. Cullen was back to looking adorably awkward instead of hot and angry, so she grabbed his hand and started pulling him down the hall toward the exit. She stopped when they were back in the little waiting area.

“So… you still want me to take you for a ride Noodle?” She asked, grinning.

Cullen’s mouth fell open and his eyes got that slightly stunned look, making her laugh.

“Head out of the gutter Noodle, I meant on my bike.”

“Oh.” He said, and she assumed he was waiting for blood to travel back upwards to his brain. He smiled, cheerful and open, and it was so damn sweet she felt like she might need an insulin shot. “Do I get to hold on to you?”

“Yes, with lots of you.” She answered with a smirk of her own. He laughed.

“Then let’s go, Snow Fox.”


	9. Anxiety and Airports

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Mia Rutherford-Guerrin, human comet.

The Kirkwall airport was large, loud, poorly laid out, and slightly dirty, a lot like the rest of the city. Mia’s flight was set to arrive at 12:30 pm and Cullen, too full of nervous energy to wait at home arrived at 11:30, wandering the airport until he found her gate. With at least forty five minutes left to kill he pulled out his phone to try and play some chess, but he was too anxious, leg bouncing incessantly every time he stopped paying attention. He had slept about two hours between nightmares and anxiety, and short of shoving an irresponsible number of pills down his throat he knew there was no way to stop it.

Bull had suggested more Snow Fox, but Cullen wasn’t sure his sister would approve, and he had a paranoid fear of her smelling it and freaking out. After Cullen had dusted the bookshelves for the third time, and vacuumed a fourth the night before, Bull had finally just fled to Dorian’s, offering to send the real life “Snow Fox” back over to calm him down the old fashioned way. After Cullen had shot him a truly horrified look, Bull had just patted him gently on the back, told him to  _try_ to get some sleep, and left.

The thing was, he suspected that if he asked, Dust probably would have come over, and Cullen was both enraptured and terrified with the idea. Part of him wanted nothing more than to let her distract him in any way she could possibly imagine, but most of him hadn’t wanted her to see him in the middle of a bad bout of anxiety, strung out and nervous despite his pills.

He hadn’t seen her since their surprisingly successful second date. They’d sat next to each other in a quiet booth at Blackwall’s, and managed to share both an obscenely large plate of fish and chips and some salt flavored kisses. He’d really thought everything was going to go to shit when he had snapped at Hawke, but she hadn’t seemed to mind at all.

Riding on the back of her motorcycle was a special kind of delightful torture, especially when she had instructed him not to be shy about holding on, wiggling against him when she settled in her seat. He wasn’t sure how he’d do letting someone else drive, especially on a type of vehicle he’d never experienced, but it had been surprisingly pleasant. With no frame at all he’d managed to completely avoid the claustrophobic panic that he usually felt in cars. Having his hands in easy reach of the steering had been oddly comforting as well, even if he suspected Dust would have kicked his ass for trying to assume control under any circumstances.

Three days later he couldn’t stop thinking about the way she kissed him when she dropped him off, deep and hot and not the least bit worried about anyone seeing them as they made out in the parking lot. She’d nipped at his neck until he moaned, then said goodbye with a laugh, waving as she drove off to her shop. Between their conflicting schedules and his obsession with making his and Bull’s house spotless, they hadn’t been able to manage a third date.

He opened up his text messages to scroll through their conversations over the past few days, choking down an embarrassed laugh when he got back to the one where he was high as a kite. Taking a deep breath he began typing out a quick message. For all his doubts about… well nearly everything, he found talking to her relaxing. She didn’t always respond right away, and her work and practice schedule kept her away from her phone a lot, but she always texted back when she had a chance.

_Noodle: Hey, what are you up to?_

He didn’t expect a response right away, he suspected she was probably working, or maybe working out, she seemed to do that a lot. To his surprised his phone buzzed shortly after he hit send, showing a slice of picture preview. When he opened it it showed Dust, sitting on a stool in a sleeveless t-shirt, hair and ear tips both tucked under a black watch cap, face serious as she bent over a topless woman, obviously working on a complicated tattoo right under the woman’s breasts.

Cullen felt his face flame, thankful a towel was draped lightly over the woman’s chest, revealing only the smooth skin of her torso and gentle curve of the underside of her breasts. The woman being tattooed had an arm draped over her face, and Dust was obviously fully engrossed in her work, so he had no idea who had taken the picture.

_Noodle: Uhh… Dust?_

_Snow Fox: Ah, no, my dearest Noodle, it is Zevran, Dust’s beloved friend and business partner._

Dust had mentioned Zevran a couple times in conversation, but didn’t really know much about him other than that he was also from Antiva, and apparently gave excellent massages. Oh and he was dating one of Cullen’s high school teammates which made Cullen incredibly uncomfortable. Cullen avoided his high school friends for a reason, and having one suddenly pop into his life out of the blue was kind of terrifying.

_Noodle: Oh, ok, well she’s obviously busy, I’m just killing time at the airport, so just tell her I said hi if you don’t mind._

_Snow Fox: Oh yes, the lovely Mia is coming to town! My Alistair has been telling me tales of your magnificent sister, it seems he had quite a crush on her._

Cullen blinked, surprised that Zevran knew about his sister, and even more surprised that Alistair had admitted his crush. He chuckled, remembering how furiously Alistair had always denied it when Cullen teased him, especially in front of Mia. He wasn’t entirely sure how to respond, or even why Zevran was still talking to him, but at least it was something to do.

_Noodle: Half the high school had a crush on her, it was kind of awkward._

_Snow Fox: Ah, the protective brother, dedicated to his sister’s virtue._

_Noodle: Hardly, more like the younger brother who really didn’t want to know about his sister’s love life._

_Snow Fox: Ah, I have no sister, so this is not a concern for me. The closest I have is our lovely Dust, who’s love life I am very invested in._

Oh. Well, he hadn’t exactly expected to have the shovel talk a week after their first date from a man he didn’t know, especially not by text message. Especially not by text message from Dust’s phone. He wondered if Zevran would delete the texts. He wondered if he should tell Dust about the whole thing at all.

_Snow Fox: The difference being that I have had sex with her, which one should never do with one’s actual sister. Also one’s sister’s lover. At the same time._

Cullen nearly dropped his phone.

“Maker’s breath…” He yelped, drawing the attention of a confused gate attendant who smiled at him in inquiry. He shook his head, trying to smile back, and knowing he’d gone red all the way down his neck. When his phone rang he nearly dropped it again, seeing Dust’s number. He was absolutely positive he did  _not_ want to talk to Zevran over the phone. He answered it anyway, unwilling to risk offending someone Dust was… close to.

“Hello?” He said, unable to keep a note of caution out of his voice.

“Cullen, Fen’harel’s balls, I am so sorry about Zev.” He was so relieved to hear Dust’s voice that he gave a sigh of relief. “I am going to fucking  _murder_ him.”

“Hey, no worries.” He said giving a relieved chuckle.

He got up and walked away from the gate, trying to find someplace where people would be less likely to stare at him. He managed to find an abandoned shoe polishing station and grabbed one of the seats.

“I…” he heard noise in the background, a loud buzzing, and then angry muttering from Dust in a what he thought might be Elvhen, before the noise was cut off with a bang. “I’m sorry, that was so shitty. I mean, not that I’m ashamed of having sex with Zev, or anyone, but just…”

She sighed and he could tell she was upset.

“Hey really, it’s ok. I mean it was kind of embarrassing to suddenly start blushing in the middle of the airport out of the blue, but I’ve definitely done more embarrassing things.”

“You’re not… upset?” She sounded cautious, like she was waiting for him to say something hurtful, and he suddenly felt like he wanted to punch both Zevran and whoever had put that caution in her voice. He looked around him, making sure there wasn’t anyone in earshot before he continued.

“Look, to be blunt, your sexual history isn’t any of my business, unless there’s a medical consideration I need to know about. Yes, it was kind of a dick move of Zevran, and I have to tell you at the moment I’m not his biggest fan, but I’m upset for your sake, not mine.”

She laughed, a bit shakily he thought, but couldn’t tell for sure.

“Sorry, I just… “ She took a deep breath. “Didn’t want to scare you off.”

“Dust, I live with The Iron Bull. I’m not actually sure I have any fear left, just a lot of blushes.” He smiled, it was oddly pleasant to be the one doing the re-assuring for a change, instead of the one apologizing.  _Not that_ she’s _the one who needs to apologize_ , he thought, still annoyed. “Does Zevran not approve of me? Or…” A thought occurred to him that made his stomach drop. “I mean, are you two still…”

“No! No. Definitely not. We stopped before Bela and I even got together, he’s been with Alistair for almost a year now, and they’re monogamous. Huh…”

He made an encouraging noise.

“Son of a bitch… he’s jealous of your  _sister_.”

“Huh?”

“So yeah, Alistair had a huge crush on Mia in high school, right?”

“Yeah…” He said cautiously.

“Oh Creators, this is rich. So Alistair gave us this big spiel about how amazing your sister is, and I think Zevran is actually kind of freaked out about it. He’s never really done the whole relationship thing, and I think he has no idea what it feels like to be jealous, and it’s making him a fucking idiot.”

Cullen burst out laughing, earning him a slightly startled look from a passing businessman, but he didn’t care.

“Oh, you have no idea how funny that is. Mia is married to the younger brother of the Arl of Redcliff, Bann Teagan, has been for six years, has three kids with her husband. Also, she knew all about Alistair’s crush, and she used to complain about the “drooling puppy” every time he came over.”

There was utter silence on the other end of the phone, he couldn’t even hear breathing.

“Uh… Dust?”

“Shhh… I’m basking in the glory of how much shit I’m going to give Zev him over this. You have no fucking idea, my revenge shall be swift and brutal.” The laugh she gave was a cackle worthy of a movie villain.

“Alight, now you’re being kind of creepy, and it’s hotter than it should be.” It was definitely easier to say things like that over the phone where she couldn’t see the accompanying blush that went with it.

“Hmm… I’ll keep that in mind.” She said, her voice dropped low and husky and he swallowed hard.  _Maker preserve me._ “Anyway Noodle, I’d better go, my client’s break is up in a minute.”

“No worries, thanks for calling, it was a good distraction from the airport.”

“Glad I could help. I’ll text you when I’m done. I’ll also change the password on my phone.  _Again_.”

Cullen laughed and disconnected, feeling less anxious, if no less exhausted. At least he had killed some time. He headed back to the gate and managed to actually play some chess. At  _exactly_ 12:30 pm, Mia was the first person to walk out of the gate, if his sister’s confident swagger could even be called walking. Everywhere she went, Mia strode like she was on a runway, or possibly going to war, and people responded accordingly. Cullen was so happy to see her he thought he might cry.

She spotted him right away, despite a ludicrously large pair of white sunglasses. She grinned, popped them up onto her blond hair and yelled “Cully Wully!” with no shame at all. She dropped her expensive carry on and her designer purse and ran over, jumping into his arms with every expectation of being caught. He spun all 5’10” of her around in a circle, anxiety blasted away by the sheer force of her presence. Her hair smelled like apples, her arms were strong, and her laugh was infectious.

“Let me look at you baby brother!” She said, grinning. Her eyes were the same shade of brown as his - “whiskey brown” as her husband had described it when he was still a spoiled frat boy trying to get into her pants. Cullen and Mia had a strong enough resemblance that they had sometimes been mistaken for twins when they were kids. That was until she hit puberty and the Maker had decided to take Mia from pretty to stunning in a matter of months, with no awkward in between stage.

“Hmmm… someone hasn’t been getting enough sleep.” She said, kneading at his shoulders with strong hands. “At least you aren’t super skinny.”

“Hardly.” He responded dryly, more than a little aware of his belly and so called love handles. Mia rolled her eyes.

“Come on, let’s go get my bags.”  She turned away from him to find a dazzled looking attendant holding her carry on and purse like a knight presenting a treasure to a princess. Cullen couldn’t help but chuckle - it had been a while since he’d seen his sister in action, it was easy to forget the effect she had on people. She gave the attendant a friendly smile and a sweet thank you and then turned to toss the carry on to Cullen. He almost dropped it it was so heavy.

“Maker’s breath Mimi, what have you got in here?”

“Presents, duh!” She rolled her eyes at him. “Let’s go slow poke!”

With a shake of his head, Cullen followed in the wake of his sister, like the hapless particles in the tail of a comet.

* * *

Meeting Mia Rutherford-Guerrin was like being hit with a solid gold crowbar. Sure it knocked you on your ass, but it was so fucking shiny you didn’t really give a shit. Bull reminded himself that she was a married mother of three, and that he was in a loving and committed relationship with a man whose ass should be celebrated with its own monument.

Still, he was committed, not  _dead_ , and Mia’s tits were amazing. He was allowed to  _look_. Mia and Dorian were in the dining room laughing and drinking the wine Dorian had brought over, while Bull threw together some hors d’oeuvres. The two of them were discussing… something, he had no idea what, some new science thing he didn’t honestly care about, except that he loved how excited Dorian got talking about new science shit.

Bull honestly hadn’t known what to expect after watching Cullen get progressively more freaked out by his sister’s impending visit, but Mia seemed like a genuinely sweet woman, just a little overwhelming in her sheer _everything_. Too tall, too gorgeous, too smart, too self assured, and all of it wrapped up in a perfectly put together designer package. She wasn’t even loud - she spoke with a soft Ferelden accent and a smile, but like she knew everything she said was the wisdom of Koslun. She would have made a fucking  _incredible_ tamassran. Hell, with that kind of presence she’d have made an impressive Arigena.

Cullen came out of their tiny guestroom that he’d be sleeping in while Mia visited, having forfeited his room to her. He looked tired, but he’d lost his tight, anxious look, shoulders relaxed, moving easily with a little smile on his face as he looked at his sister. He came and joined Bull in the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge.

“You didn’t actually mention that your sister was so damn hot, kid.”

Cullen rolled his eyes and smiled, making Bull chuckle.

“I notice you didn’t say that loud enough for Dorian to hear.”

“I only  _play_ stupid Cullen. Plus I think Dorian might actually be in love with her already.” Bull’s hearing was significantly better than a human’s, so even with the soft music playing on their stereo he could tell that the two of them had moved on to discussing some fashion line, one of Dorian’s favorites.

“I should have known those two would get along.” Cullen observed.

“Your sister can talk science, wears designer clothes, and immediately recognized and appreciated the quality of the wine he brought. I’m lucky she’s not a man or she might give me competition.”

Bull headed to the table with his little platter of food, “nibbles” as Dorian called them, which was disgustingly cute and he loved it.

“So is Dust going to be joining us for dinner tonight?” Dorian asked looking at Cullen inquiringly. They had reservations for The Viscount, at Mia’s insistence and on Mia’s dime, and Dorian was being blase about it but Bull knew he was delighted.

“Dust?” Mia asked, looking confused. Bull glanced at Cullen, who had gone very still and was looking a bit like he was trying to find an exit. Dorian turned between Mia and Cullen and then Bull saw him get that mullish look on his face that he wore when he thought someone was insulting one of his friends. Bull wanted to nudge him under the table, but Mia’s legs were in the way.

“Yes, Dust Lavellan, my roommate and one of my dearest friends. She and Cullen recently started seeing each other.”

Bull understood then, why Cullen got nervous around his sister. Her eyes sparked like a flashfire and she looked at Cullen with such intensity Bull was a little surprised he couldn’t physically feel it pressing against his skin.

“Oh really? How interesting, Cullen didn’t mention a new person in his life.” Mia’s tone was perfectly casual, mildly interested, like a waiter had just told her the day’s special and she wasn’t all that excited about it.

“We’ve only been out twice Mimi.” Cullen said, looking like he wanted to hide under the table.

“Yes, but you two have been texting constantly. It’s quite adorable, actually.” Dorian’s smile was sharp.

“Well I’d certainly be happy to have her join us for dinner Cullen, I’d love to meet her.” Mia smiled sweetly, and her tone never changed, but Bull had a strong urge to solute, or maybe bow.

“She’s working.” Cullen said with finality.

“Our reservations aren’t until 8.” Mia pointed out. “Won’t she be finished by then?”

“I can text her and ask.” Volunteered Dorian. “She had a client at 10 this morning so I imagine she’ll be finished in time to join us, even if she missed the appetizers.”

“A client? What does she do?” Mia asked, letting curiosity seep into her tone.

“She and her partner run a very successful tattoo studio. She currently got a one year waiting list to see clients. I suppose we could always swing by the studio before dinner so you could meet her…” Dorian let himself trail off, smiling lazily at Cullen.

Cullen sighed, putting down his drink and looking at Mia and Dorian accusingly.

“Stop, I’m not stupid, I know exactly what you two are up to. Dorian, I’m not ashamed of Dust, but Mia is bloody overwhelming and introducing someone to your family after two dates might be moving more quickly than she’s comfortable with. Especially your bossy older sister.” He glared at Mia, who just smiled serenely and sipped her wine. Dorian looked slightly mollified, but didn’t put his phone down. Cullen sighed again. “Fine, _I_  will text her and ask her if she’d like to join us. Dorian, don’t you dare push. I’ll be right back.”

He got up and walked away from the table and headed back into the guest room, closing the door with a firmness that didn’t quite make it to a slam. Bull chuckled.

“You two should never be allowed to work together, it isn’t fair to us mere mortals.”

“Bull, honey, there is absolutely nothing  _mere_ about you, as I intend to have Dorian confirm later when my little brother isn’t present.” Mia had a perfect dimple in her right cheek, the lopsided nature just adding to her charm. Dorian chuckled, low and sensual, and it made Bull’s body tighten in response.

“Well kadan, as long as you make it good.” Bull conceded.

“Oh I will. Now Mia, would you like to see pictures of Dust?” Dorian swiped at his phone, waving it temptingly.

“Of course! I was just waiting for him to get huffy and leave.”

“Damn you’re evil.” Bull said, shaking his head and smiling.

“Ah, here you go.” Dorian smiled and handed his phone over. Mia’s eyes went wide. She looked at the phone, glanced at Dorian, and then back to the phone.

“You’re shitting me! There is no way in hell my little brother is dating this little hottie, she’d eat him alive.”

“Swipe left.” Dorian retorted with a grin.

“Andraste’s blessed titties,” Mia breathed, making both of them laugh. “Who  _is_ this girl? Did he actually ask her out, or did she ask  _him_?”

“He asked her, right out of the blue, in this very dining room.” Dorian said.

“OK, yeah, I gotta know, what the hell picture are you showing her?”

“The promotional shot she did for the Painted Crow when Zevran finished her back piece.”

Bull got up and wandered behind Mia and Dorian, looking down at the giant screen of Dorian’s smart phone.

“Koslun’s balls.” He said reverently.

Dust was kneeling on a bed, sheets rumpled and pillows strewn at odd angles, wearing nothing but a pair of very small black lace panties that she appeared to be in the process of pushing down her hips, thumbs hooked in the fabric. She was looking over her shoulder at the camera and smiling, but the smile said “touch me and I’ll fucking cut you” all teeth and wicked glee. Her hair was missing it’s signature shaved side, dating the picture - all of the white waves were pushed over one shoulder to show off her back tattoo.

Bull had never gotten a good look at the whole thing, but it was incredible; a white haired woman in art nouveau style, her white hair brusher back to look like horns, brilliant golden eyes staring challengingly at the camera, and wrapped in a gold and green dress that looked like dragon scale on the bodice, transitioning to some kind of flowing fabric. The illusion of texture was amazing, and the whole thing was bordered in a complicated frame of stylized trees, elf root, and embrium. Bull whistled.

“That supposed to be Mythal?” He asked Dorian.

“Yes, the tattoo itself won a number of awards. This particular picture was in several tattoo magazines, and a couple of… we’ll call them gentleman’s magazine came calling to see if she would pose for them, or let them reuse this one.”

“Did she?” Mia asked eagerly. “Do you have those pictures?”

“Ha, no, I believe her exact words were “I told them to go suck an entire bag of fucking dicks.” And then she muttered something rude in Antivan.”

“Sounds right.” Bull commented. “What was the other one?”

Mia swiped right and Bull chuckled. It was a side by side Instagram style photo of Dust in her derby gear, minus the helmet - a pair of tiny black and pink striped shorts, a bright pink tank top, thick black eye make-up with dark red lips, and her black skates with pink laces and pads. The Purritos logo (a grey kitten hugging a burrito) was emblazoned on the front of her chest and she was holding up gloved hands to flip off the camera, teeth bared in a shit eating grin. In the picture beside it she was flexing, both fists up in the air, weight on one hip while she popped the toe on her other foot. The shorts barely covered the curve of her ass and did nothing to diminish the impressive musculature of her legs. Her number, six, and her derby name, Gravedust, were both printed on the back.

The door opened behind them and Dorian smoothly retrieved his phone from Mia with a bland face. Bull wandered back to his seat and plopped down, but Cullen still looked at them all a bit suspiciously.

“So, can she join us?” Mia asked, grinning. Cullen sighed, obviously giving up the fight.

“She says she’ll meet us at The Viscount as long as she can drive Dorian’s car, she doesn’t want to ride her bike in nice clothes.

“Done!” Dorian declared. “I’ll text her and let her know I said yes.”

“No doubt along with instructions on what to wear.” Cullen added snarkily.

“Yes, which  _she_ will no doubt ignore, as usual, despite my impeccable taste.”

Mia simply smiled at all of them, a mother pleased with her children.

“This is going to be great!”

Bull had to agree, if only for the entertainment factor.


	10. Nerves and NSFW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mia, Cullen, Bull, Dorian, and Dust go to dinner. Embarrassing pictures are exchanged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just... ridiculous levels of fluff, someone stop me. Also the world's weirdest double and a half date.
> 
> Mama Yen belongs to the wonderful [maliwanhellfire](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maliwanhellfire/pseuds/maliwanhellfire) And appears in the utterly, soul crushingly lovely [Skyhold series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/287726). Go read it, I'll wait.

Dust wasn’t nervous. She was definitely not nervous, or panicked, or any of those words that indicated she was freaking out about meeting the sister of the nerd she’d been on two dates with. That was not a thing Dust Lavellan did.

_Fuuuuuuuck._

She parked her bike in the garage next to Dorian’s sedan and opened the door to the house, dropping all her crap in front of the hall closet in a way that would horrify her roommate. She pulled out her phone, scrolling through her contacts until she got to Mama Bear. She dialed the number, stomping impatiently up the stairs while it rang.

“Hello this is Yenaan.” A warm, deep voice, answered as she walked into her room, heading straight to the rumpled bed to flop down on her back.

“Yen, it’s Dust.”

“Yes love, I know, I saw your name on the caller ID.” There was mild amusement in Yenaan’s tone.

“Oh right. Umm… did Ink tell you I’m kind of dating Bull’s roommate?”

“She did! I think that’s wonderful, Cullen’s a nice boy, if a bit high strung. You’ll be a good influence on him, and I’m sure he’ll treat you well.” The little emphasis on sure made Dust smile. Yenaan Adaar had adopted her daughter’s entire roller derby team, serving as coach, team mom, and biggest fan. The post season parties at her place on the Wounded Coast were legendary. You did not mess with Mama Yen’s kids, adopted or biological, not if you knew what was good for you.

“So… his older sister’s in town and he invited me to dinner with her and Dorian and Bull, last minute, ‘cause I guess she wants to meet me.”

“That seems reasonable.”

“Yen, I don’t date people who introduce me to their families!” She sat back up, feeling agitated. “Creators, most of the people I’ve dated haven’t even had them! I don’t know what to do if she hates me. Like, we just started dating, this is a lot of pressure, and she’s supposedly this super perfect goddess and we’re going to The Viscount and I have to wear nice clothes!”

Dust stopped, realizing how ridiculous and whiny she sounded. From the other end of the line Yenaan was laughing.

“Oh love, you do have yourself in a state, don’t you? Sweetheart, who gives a nug’s shit if she likes you? As long as you and Cullen are satisfied her opinion doesn’t matter. Just put on one of your pretty dresses, enjoy a nice steak, and have some conversation with your friends. Dorian and Bull adore you, they won’t let her be rude to you. And if she tries to give you trouble you just call Mama Yen and I’ll set her straight.”

Dust laughed shakily. Considering Yen was seven foot plus of ex-Tamassran, that was not an inconsiderable threat. _Like mother like daughter_ , she thought fondly.

“Thanks Yen. It’s all a bit weird doing this normal crap. Kinda makes me miss one night stands.”

Yenaan snorted. “Love, normal is what you make it, now go change before you’re late to dinner.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Cheeky.” Was Yen’s last word before she hung up, leaving Dust laughing.

* * *

 

Dorian sipped his wine and looked around The Viscount with satisfaction. They had been seated in a lovely table near a window with a view of the city, which looked very attractive in the flattering cover of night. He and Mia were splitting a bottle of sparkling dry syrah, a Navarren label he had never tried and intended to make note of. Bull was having whiskey, and Cullen, looking stiff, was nursing a beer.

Dorian almost regretted encouraging Mia to invite Dust, the poor boy had been getting progressively more nervous as they waited for her. On the plus side, he looked wonderful, since Mia and Dorian had picked his clothes. Dark jeans, a lovely blue cotton and linen blazer that Dorian had been shocked Cullen owned, and a deep blue shirt with a small, tasteful pattern of polka dots. If he was going to be anxious, at least it shouldn’t be over his attire.

There was a bit of a commotion off to his right, nothing loud, but he grinned, recognizing the stop and murmur associated with a particularly attractive or unusual person walking through a crowd. It wasn’t everyday that a heavily tattooed, white haired, dark skinned, blatantly Dalish elf wandered through one of the finest restaurants in Hightown, and the stares and murmurs were almost as noticeable as when he had walked in arm and arm with Bull.

Dust was wending her way through the dining room, swaying gracefully on a magnificent pair of Vivienne de Fer wedges that Dorian had insisted she purchase. She was wearing a little slip dress in creamy white with a blue floral pattern on the skirt and halter neck, nipped in at the waist with a blue ribbon. She had brushed her hair over the side she kept shaved and put it in a soft, fishtail braid secured with another blue ribbon. She was a perfectly devastating combination of wild huntress and demure girl next door.

He gave Mia a little poke under the table, shifting his eyes to direct her attention towards Dust. The woman was a gift, keeping up her light conversation while casually turning to brush some imaginary bit of fluff from her dress. She turned back to him, eyes widened slightly and her single dimple appeared before she topped off his wine, still talking with Bull and Cullen. Dorian kept his eyes on Cullen’s face, wanting to see the exact moment when the other man caught sight of her.

Dorian was not disappointed - Cullen glanced about him idly, eyes no doubt passing over her entirely. Then he stopped, beer halfway to his mouth to do a double take, and his brown eyes went wide. He looked, as Bull had described it so elegantly, as if he had been hit in the head with a brick… again.

“Hello, sorry I’m late.” Dust said, coming up to the table. She was carrying a little white clutch and a fluffy white cardigan, and Dorian was so pleased with her clothing choices he nearly stood up to pull out her chair, but Cullen had already risen.

“No need to apologize, it was short notice.” Cullen said. His cheeks were flushed charmingly pink, but he didn’t let that stop him from leaning down to kiss Dust on the cheek. “You know everyone else obviously, but I’d like to introduce you to my sister Mia.”

Mia grinned, but instead of reaching up to take Dust’s outstretched hand, she got up and hugged her. Dust gave Dorian a slightly panicked stare from around Mia’s shoulder, and Dorian just grinned back at her.

“It is so wonderful to meet you! Cullen hasn’t told me a damn thing about you of course, because he’s embarrassed by me, but really it’s fine, that’s what older sisters are for.” Mia winked at Cullen, who groaned.

“Mimi, can you at least let her sit down before you start embarrassing me on _purpose_?”

“Sure thing Cully Wully!” Mia grinned, sitting back down while Dust choked back a laugh.

Cullen pulled out Dust’s chair for her; she laughed at the courtesy, but sat, managing to gracefully shift her knees properly under the table so Cullen could push the chair in after her. He took his seat while Dust draped her sweater over her chair back, looking small and delicate between Cullen and Mia, a complete illusion.

“Dust I have to say I love your tattoos, Dorian was showing me pictures earlier, the piece on your back is amazing!”

“Dorian, you didn’t!” Dust said with a groan. Dorian sipped his wine and gave her a wicked smile.

“How come you never showed me that picture before Dust?” Bull asked, tone ridiculously pained. “Dorian and I weren’t even dating yet!”

“Mythal’s tits, I hate you both.”

“I’m obviously missing something.” Cullen said, looking confused.

“Ugh, when Zevran finished the big piece on my back he wanted to showcase it to help draw business to the Painted Crow, since we had just opened. He talked me into taking this ridiculously cheesecakey picture with my ass hanging out. Of course it went viral and showed up _everywhere_.” She glared at Dorian.

“It’s a very flattering picture.” Mia said sincerely. Dust looked embarrassed, the tips of her ears twitching.

“Uh, thanks… I just wish my roommate wouldn’t show it off like a parent showing baby pictures!”

Everyone laughed, and Dorian pulled his phone out.

“Actually I didn’t show Cullen yet…”

“Dorian!”

Cullen looked between the two of them, obviously conflicted.

“It’s alright Dust, I won’t look if you’d rather I not see it.” Oh that face, so obviously conflicted and yet sincere in his desire not to offend. Dorian wanted to snap a picture of it, it was so adorable.

“No, it’s fine, it’s a good picture, just… stupid.”

Dorian brought the picture up and reached across the table to hand his phone to Cullen with a grin. Cullen’s eyes went wide and he swallowed. Dust grabbed for the bottle of wine and began pouring some into the tumbler on the table, even though she was perfectly aware it was meant for water. _Little heathen_ , he thought fondly.

“It’s… very flattering.” Cullen said, handing the phone back to Dorian, sounding slightly choked. His cheeks were bright red, and the way he shifted in his chair Dorian suspected the blood wasn’t just going to his face. He took the phone back while shooting a delighted glance at Mia, who looked like she was trying to suppress more laughter. Oh it was going to be a _wonderful_ eveni

* * *

All Cullen had wanted was for Mia not to do anything exceptionally embarrassing, like giving Dust the third degree, or discussing politics or religious reform. What he _hadn’t_ expected, and wasn’t sure he wanted, was for the two of them to sit sharing a dessert, heads pressed together while Mia showed Dust pictures from their childhood. He had argued, but Mia had pointed out that Dust had let him see her embarrassing picture, leaving him defenseless.

Not that Dust displayed enticingly on an unmade bed should really count as embarrassing. He was still trying very hard to keep the image of all that smooth, colorful skin and soft hair from flashing across his mind at random intervals. Not that he didn’t enjoy it, but because he wanted to be able to get up from the table without embarrassing himself.

It certainly didn’t compare on the embarrassment scale to pictures of Cullen wearing a pot on his head pretending to be a Templar while Branson played the part of evil mage. Then again, every time Mia showed her a new picture, Dust shot a smile his direction, so maybe it was worth it. Bull and Dorian were cuddled up across from them, Dorian looking ridiculously pleased with himself, and Bull just looked happy to have everyone around him getting along.

Cullen was distracted from his revery to see Dust with her chair pulled back, her shapely legs extended to better show off her tattoos to Mia. She had beautiful crow wings, near replicas of the ones on her helmet, on each ankle extending around to the back of her calf. Thin black, green, and purple ribbons and small, stray feathers extended up her calves like the ribbons of a ballerina’s slippers all the way to her knees. There was a stretch of untouched dark skin, and then a pair of “garters” on her thighs, lacy white and enticing. They had peeked out from under the hem of her skirt as she moved, and Cullen had been trying all evening not to stare. Now she had her skirt pulled up a bit so Mia could look at them more closely.

“Ooh, can I touch?” Mia asked, eyes wide.

“Sure, but they don’t feel any different.” Dust said with a smile, giving Cullen a little wink when she caught him looking.

“Really Mimi, you’re going to feel up my date in the middle of a fancy restaurant?”

“Well one of us ought to!” Mia answered defensively. To his relief, she reached down to touch the crows wings instead of the garter.

“I didn’t say _you_ couldn’t touch Cullen.” Dust offered, grinning wickedly. Bull and Dorian both burst out laughing, no doubt at his slightly stunned expression. Mia snorted derisively.

“Never gonna happen.” She said dismissively, shooting him a scornful look.

“Women are evil creatures.” He said, shaking his head. The little competitive streak Mia had always inspired in him was pricking at his belly, and before he lost his nerve he reached over and very gently ran two fingers over the white pattern of the garter tattoo, meeting Dust’s eyes the whole time. Her skin was incredibly soft and warm. She was wearing mascara again, her eyelashes dark instead of their natural startling white, making her pale eyes look huge. Her mouth was open just a tiny bit, as if she had caught her breath, and he found he couldn’t look away, fingers still stroking absently.

“Ahem.” Dorian said from across the table, startling Cullen right back into reality. He pulled his hand back as if her skin had gone white hot, which was about the temperature of his cheeks. “Perhaps we should call it an evening before we’re kicked out for indecent behavior?”

“Aww kadan, it was just getting good!” Bull protested. “Good job kid, that was a nice move.”

“Holy shit little brother, that was actually smooth, I’m genuinely impressed.” Mia was grinning at him so hard her dimple was probably going to become permanently etched in her cheek. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Me too!” Dust added, grinning at him.”Ten out of ten, would be inappropriate in public with you again.” She hadn’t bothered to pull her skirt back down, and his eyes flashed to her thighs like his gaze was magnetized. To his relief their waiter chose that moment to arrive with their check, already charged to Mia’s credit card and ready for her to sign. (Delivered in a fancy embossed paper envelope because of course). There was an argument over it that Cullen didn’t bother to participate in, knowing that Mia would absolutely win, because she cheated. Instead he watched Dust as she finished the last of the ridiculous chocolate cake she and Mia had been eating, licking a bit of ganache from her spoon.

She caught him at it, and feeling pleasantly tired and relaxed he just shrugged bashfully. She leaned over, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you for inviting me, your sister is a blast.” She whispered in his ear, lips brushing against his skin and making him shiver. The distinctive sound of a phone’s camera app going off grabbed his attention and gave him a sense of deja vu. Mia was smiling unapologetically as she showed the picture to Dorian.

“I’ve come to the conclusion.” Dust said, voice resigned as she laid her head on his shoulder, “that we have horrible friends.”

“And relatives.” He added, wrapping his arm around her waist. The camera went off again.

“Mimi, you are not the only one who keeps childhood pictures, and also knows family secrets, and I will play dirty if you post those anywhere.” He didn’t tense up as he had with Hawke - the threat was more a formality, to make her aware of what he wasn’t comfortable with her sharing. He’d give Mia credit, for all her overbearing ways, she knew when to back off.

“Oh I wouldn’t do that - but I _will_ send them to mom, she’ll love them.” Her brown eyes gleamed with mischief. Their mother would be _ecstatic_. To his surprise, Dust tensed under his hand, but didn’t say anything. He looked at Mia and gave her the tiniest headshake. She didn’t so much as blink but he was sure she understood.  
“You’re assuming mom would even know how to open them, all she uses her phone for is Candy Crush.” He ran his thumb over Dust’s waist in a gentle circle. She relaxed again, and didn’t seem to be in any hurry to move. He had to resist the urge to bury his face in her hair, it looked so soft, and as usual she smelled amazing.

“True… I guess I’ll have to just keep them to mark the rare occasion you actually managed to not be a huge nerd.”

“Oh he’s a nerd.” Dust said, voice vibrating against his shoulder. “I like that about him.”

“Alright, this is simply getting nauseating, and I enjoyed dinner too much to let this level of cuteness ruin it. Take me home amatus.” Dorian said, standing and giving one of Bull’s horns a tug. Dust laughed and sat up, taking her hands from Cullen’s shoulder so she could flip Dorian off.

Recognizing the end of the evening they all rose, making their way to the entrance, Bull with his arm around Dorian as the Vint chatted happily with Mia. Dust had put on her ridiculously adorable sweater and if anything, Cullen thought she looked even prettier with it on, though he did kind of miss her shoulders. There was a bit of a line up at the valet station, leaving them milling about with overdressed Hightowners talking about things that Cullen couldn’t have cared less about if he actively tried.

He always felt weird having his beat up Jeep valeted, but he didn’t have a choice, because of course that was the only kind of parking The Viscount had. Many of the people waiting were casting looks at their little group, a toss up whether the most attention was going to Dorian, Bull, and Mia, or him and Dust. The other three wandered over to a bench that had mysteriously vacated when Bull had glared at the people sitting there, leaving him in a brief bubble of quiet with Dust.

“Well, I guess they’re not completely terrible.” She commented. “Just incredibly obvious.”

“I think I’d rather obvious than _oblivious_.” He said, smiling down at her, though not as far as usual. “Have I mentioned how impressed I am by your ability to walk in those shoes?”

“Why thank you for noticing.” She responded, moving closer, arms crossed over her chest. There was a breeze that was comfortable for him in his jacket, but was probably a little much in a dress that short. “Also, now would be an appropriate time to put your arms around me to keep me warm.”

“Oh really?” He asked, blinking in pretend innocence and trying not to smile.

“Alternately the ‘lend me your jacket so I have to see you again to give it back’ trick is a classic.”

He tapped his chin with a finger as if considering.

“What if I suggest both?” He asked, smirking.

“Ohh, adventurous, I like that. Both works for me.”

Cullen took off his jacket, draping it over her shoulders, then pulling her into a hug, arms looped gently around her back. She laid her head on his chest with a sigh, and he propped his chin on her hair. She huffed out a laugh.

“Do I want to know what’s funny?”

“Your stubble itches.”

“Sorry,” He said, pulling his head back.

“Excuse you, I didn’t say to move.” He chuckled and put his head back down.

“You hair is really soft.” He reached a hand up to run it down her braid. It was surprisingly fine considering how much of it there seemed to be. She made a happy, wordless sound that made him smile, so he kept petting her, not giving a nug’s ass for the slightly disapproving looks he was getting from other people around them. When he caught sight of the Three Stooges on the bench they were all grinning at him, and Bull gave him a thumbs up and that ridiculous one eyed wink of his.

“Maker’s breath they are ridiculous.” He murmured, but couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. Dust just made a little noise of agreement and tucked her fingers into his belt loops. They stayed in place until the valet queue finally began to thin, and then reluctantly Cullen followed Bull’s lead, separating to give the valet his card and Dust’s as well. When he turned back to the bench, Dust was sitting next to Mia and talking animatedly while she folded up the sleeves of his jacket. Dorian seemed to be scolding her for it, and as usual she ignored him. Cullen grinned and walked over to them.

“Cully Wully, Dust has a Derby match on Friday night, we are so going! And Dust says she’ll give me a tattoo!”

“Wait, what?” He asked, brain refusing to process. “First of all Mia when have you ever wanted a tattoo? And second, Dust, Dorian said you were booked up like a year in advance.”

“Please, Cully, I already have two other tattoos, where have you been?” Mia gave him a quintessentially disdainful older sister look.

“What’s the point of being your own boss if you can’t fit someone in when you want?” Dust asked with a smile. “Besides, it’s part of my plan to get revenge on Zevran.”

“And suddenly I’m very on board with all of this.” Cullen added, smirking.

“What exactly did Zevran do _this_ time?” Dorian asked, amused.

“I’ll tell you when we get home, but he’s so fucking toast, you don’t even know.”

By the time Bull’s truck arrived, the valet looking a little terrified when he handed over the keys, Mia was scheduled to be tattooed late Wednesday evening and it was decided the whole lot of them would attend Dust’s derby match. It was probably the most social activity he’d had in a single week in ages. He just hoped he’d be able to keep up.

When the valet came back with Dust’s borrowed car, the little shit grinned and opened the door waiting for her to get in. Cullen shooed him off with a glare, standing between her and the valet stand while she climbed inside, deliberately not watching her skirt ride up her thighs as she did. When she was settled in and safely seat belted he leaned down to kiss her goodnight. It was sweet, and chaste, and tasted like chocolate, and made his head spin. She smiled and waved to them both as she drove off.

Mia came to stand next to them as they waited for his Jeep to be brought around.

“Cullen, you are so lucky I’m not single, because I would absolutely steal that girl.”

“No Mia, you would _try_.”

She gave him a fist bump before they got in the car.

* * *

When he finally got home and settled in his room for the night, the notification light on his phone was flashing. He grinned when he saw to messages from Dust, then caught his breath when he saw what she had sent. There was the picture of her on the bed, showing off her tattoo, full size and in living color.

_Snow Fox: When does Mia go back to Ferelden again?_

_Noodle: Sunday morning._

_Snow Fox: You know… I happen to own a pair of panties just like these, but in white. Think you’d like to come over for dinner next Sunday?_

Even with no one around to see him, Cullen blushed, though it was a real toss up whether his blood was headed south or north in a bigger hurry. His fingers shook as he typed his response.

_Noodle: I like dinner._

_Snow Fox: lol It’s a date then._

_Noodle: Sounds good._

Cullen didn’t get much sleep that night, but he still woke up cheerful.


	11. Vanity and Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zevran meets Mia... and also his match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey this is now part of a series! I've started a little prelude to this to catalog the (not even a little safe for work) adventures of Dust and Isabela. (FYI, for those wondering the two of them parted totally amicably and are still friends, and yes, Bela will appear in this work eventually... poor Cullen.) If you're interested in Dust's life pre-cullen and/or just want to read some super explicit femslash, now you can!

_Snow Fox: Tell your sister to wear something sexy when she comes to the studio tonight._

Cullen stared at his phone with mild horror as he waited for Mia to return to their seats with snacks and drinks. He had offered to fetch them but Mia was weirdly picky about movie snacks, especially her beloved nachos, so he had been relegated to seat saving duty. Considering the theater was totally empty it seemed a little unnecessary.

_Noodle: There is no way I am telling my sister anything of the sort._

_Snow Fox: You are such a nerd. Hand her the phone and let her read it herself if you’re going to be so weird about it._

_Noodle: I can’t believe I’m asking this, but WHY do you want my sister to wear sexy clothes to get a tattoo? Also I can’t, she’s getting snacks._

_Snow Fox: Duh, so she can flirt with Alistair and make Zevran suffer._

_Noodle: You don’t think that’s a little unfair to Alistair? (I’m 100% ok with punishing Zevran for upsetting you.)_

_Snow Fox: Awww, you’re my favorite Noodle. Al will be fine, and so will Zevran, my punishment is mild. I could have sent a screenshot of the conversation to Isabela, that would be a truly wicked punishment._

Movement in his aisle caught his attention and distracted him before he could speculate on just why Isabela was considered the ultimate punishment, not that he needed a lot of convincing, Isabela was intimidating. He slipped his phone in his pocket as he stood up to help Mia carry the rather terrifying amount of food she had brought back.

“Mimi, Maker’s breath, we’re watching a movie not traveling by wagon across the Anderfels.” He took the giant cups of soda first, placing one in each cup holder, knowing they both held the same thing. The family addiction to Mountain Dew was universal to all four Rutherford siblings. Cullen specifically drove an extra fifteen minutes to get to the theater in Hightown that served it.

“Oh shut it Cully, I’m on vacation, I’ll eat what I want.” She grinned at him as she handed him the obscenely large bucket of popcorn and the Junior Mints, holding on to her artfully arranged nachos, loaded with jalapenos and onions.

“Mimi, you physically cannot eat all of this without dying, I’m positive. Also, you’re going to have breath like a high dragon after you finish those.” He sat down carefully, trying not to spill roughly fifty gallons of popcorn across the already sticky floor.

“First off, that’s quitter talk, and second, who cares, it’s only  _you_.” She plopped down in her seat and began to carefully dig into the nachos, perfectly manicured nails promptly getting covered in cheese substitute sauce.

“I don’t understand how you can eat that crap. Also you’re not coming into my house until you’ve had at least two breath mints.” He leaned down to set the popcorn carefully on the theater floor, where he wouldn’t easily kick it, then opened the box of Junior Mints with a smile, instantly transported back to his childhood when their parents would take turns dragging them to movies on Sunday afternoons after Chantry services once a month to let the other parent relax.

Mom would always stop at the drugstore to grab them candy and hide it in her purse, refusing to “mortgage the house for snacks” whereas pop would just buy one enormous tub of popcorn and let them silently fight over it. Always silently because if they talked during the movie (other than to ask for a trip to the bathroom) he’d take the lot of them right out of the theater in disgrace, to spend the rest of the afternoon doing yard work or listening to him read from the Canticles.

His phone buzzed in his pocket reminding him that he needed to respond to Dust and also to turn it off, another Rutherford family movie rule.

_Snow Fox: Just give me Mia’s number and I’ll take care of everything._

_Noodle: That might be the most terrifying text I’ve ever received. :-p_

_Snow Fox: You ass. Also can you guys pick up dinner when you come tonight? We’ll have the shop to ourselves after Zevran goes home in a fit of jealous rage, so grab whatever appeals to you guys._

_Noodle: Sure thing. I’ll text you after the movie is done._

_Snow Fox: kk_

“Mimi, is it ok if I give Dust your cell number? She wants to talk to you about tonight. Not during the movie though.” He said, giving her a stern look.

“Did you not grow up with the same father as me? My phone will remain off and in my purse for the whole movie lest I shame the Rutherford family name. And of course your girlfriend can have my phone number.  _Duh_.” He felt his cheeks heat at the world girlfriend, which was ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it.

“I’m not technically sure she counts as my girlfriend yet.” He muttered

“Why, because you guys haven’t had sex yet?”

“ _Mia!_ ”

“Oh come on little brother, if you two gave off unresolved sexual tension any harder, people on the streets would just start humping your legs.”

“Andraste’s tits Mia this is a completely inappropriate conversation to have  _anywhere_ , let alone in public.” He sank a bit further down in his chair, rubbing at the back of his neck, feeling his ears and cheeks burning.

“Cullen, we’re the only people in this theater, this doesn’t even count as in public. Besides, even if you guys  _haven’t_  consummated your relationship yet, she’s totally your girlfriend. I’ve seen how often you two text each other, it’s nauseatingly cute.”

“We’ve been on all of two dates.” He pointed out. He wasn’t sure why he was arguing exactly - other than maybe he didn’t want to get his hopes up about something so new. Even if all he could manage to think about in his spare minutes alone was their Sunday dinner date.

“Three.” Mia corrected, popping a jalapeno slice into her mouth like it was candy.  “The night at the Viscount counted, any time you introduce someone to family it counts. In fact, let’s call it four, meeting family counts as double.”

“You are thinking about this way too hard Mimi.”

“Ha! I am thinking about this the exact right amount for an overbearing older sister. When is your next date anyway?” Even in the low light of the theater there was no denying the bright glint of dangerous interest in her eyes.

“Well I don’t know,” He said sarcastically, “does me taking you to get a tattoo count since I’m bringing her dinner? Does seeing her derby match on Friday count? Do enlighten me wise sister of mine.”

“You’re so cute when you’re salty.” She narrowed her eyes in thought as she continued to eat nachos at a rate that would probably have shocked her many high school admirers. “Tonight doesn’t count, Friday counts if we go out after the match. The real question is, when is your next date just the two of you.”

“I am not talking about this with you.” There was no way in the Void he was discussing Sunday with Mia. He had two reactions to thinking about Sunday - uncomfortably aroused or mildly panicked. Occasionally both at the same time. Neither one was an appropriate state to deal with his sister in.

“Ha! Cully Wully is gonna get laid!” Mia chanted in a delighted sing song.

“Mia, I swear by the Maker I will leave you here and have the locks changed on my house.” He was practically growling by the time he finished his sentence, glaring daggers at her. Mia gave him a measuring look, no doubt assessing how much further she could push, and he felt his shoulders tense and his stomach start to do flips. To his surprise she gave a dramatic sigh and went back to her chips.

“Fine, be boring. But she’s still your girlfriend.”

Luckily for him the lights chose that moment to go down, and the previews started. He took his phone out, turned it off, and shoved it back in his pocket. Maybe Mia was finally learning when to leave well enough alone.

 

* * *

 

 

“Alistair! Maker you look  _amazing_ sweetheart! Give me a hug, I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve seen you, you’re  _gorgeous_!”

Dust tried (not very hard) to curb her feeling of intense satisfaction at seeing Zevran scowl while Alistair got a very cuddly armful of Mia, but she didn’t really succeed. Alistair was bright red and had a brilliant, goofy grin on his face. Mia was wearing a very brief pair of pink silk shorts and a sheer, cream colored tank top embroidered all over with little rose buds and vines, loose and flowing over a very pretty, probably very expensive bra. Her strappy wedge sandals helped accentuate all fifty or so feet of her gorgeous, tan legs, and a very nice backside.

“Mia, you look, I mean… it’s been time! A long time. A very long time.” Alistair was so flustered Dust didn’t think he had even noticed Cullen, standing behind his sister looking mildly disgusted, while carrying a bag of what she assumed was dinner.

Alistair was fairly tall, but Mia in her heels was eye to eye with him, and her beautiful, smiling face left him so flustered he looked down - right into her equally beautiful cleavage. Dust had to muster all of her willpower not to laugh.

“ _Mi amor_ , who is your charming friend?” Zevran asked. His tone was all charm, but she could hear the tension in it. She was probably a terrible person, but it made her happy.

“Oh, right… uh… Zev, this is Mia. Mia Rutherford. Mia this is Zev.” Mia kept one long arm slung over Alistair’s shoulder, pressing just a little closer than normal as she turned a beautiful smile on Zevran. Dust hadn’t seen an expression like it on Mia’s face before - it managed to somehow be utterly gorgeous and yet condescending at the same time. She was starting to regret not recording the whole thing.

“Actually, it’s Lady Mia Rutherford-Guerin now. How lovely to meet you… Zev, was it?” She reached out her hand and gave Zevran’s a polite shake, letting go a little too quickly. Oh it was a thing of beauty watching Mia work, Dust was absolutely doing her tattoo for free just for the look on Zev’s face. She could tell he was doing his damndest not to scowl, but his smile was already wilting at the corners. “Are you a friend of Alistair’s?”

“You might say that.” Zevran ground out.

“Oh, right, Zev is my… well he and I, uh, we’re…” Alistair was looking between Zevran and Mia rather like a nug watching a wolf and a lion fight over who got to eat it for dinner. “Zevran and I are living together.”

“Oh, you're roommate, how nice! I bet you two just get all the girls, you’re both so pretty!”

Alistair’s eyes went wide as he obviously tried to think of how to correct Mia. Dust could see Zevran’s jaw tighten, hurt evident in the lines of his back and she sighed. She wanted revenge but she didn’t want it  _that_ bad.

“The two of you are ridiculous. Zev, Mia knows you two are a couple, she’s just getting back at you on behalf of myself and Cullen for being a dick. Sorry Alistair.” Mia smiled at Alistair, open and friendly, then gave him a peck on the cheek before walking over to where Dust was standing in front of her station. Mia winked at her and then put an arm around her shoulders, leaning down to kiss her as well. “But only a little since you totally ignored Cullen to look at his sister’s tits.”

“Hey Alistair.” Cullen said laconically, as if on cue. Oh that boy was getting laid for sure.

“Cullen! Hey! I’m so glad you’ve been standing there enjoying my embarrassment, that’s certainly a lovely way to reunite.” Alistair was red all the way up to his strawberry blond hair. He reached out a hand for Cullen to shake. Cullen smirked as he shifted the bag over and took Alistair’s hand.

“If it makes you feel better, we brought burritos from Iguanas. I’m willing to share even though you were staring at my sister’s chest.”

“Actually… that does make me feel better.” Alistair turned to Zevran, who was looking like he was torn between laughter and having a temper tantrum. Alistair, smart enough to read his boyfriend’s mood, leaned down to give Zevran a gentle kiss on the mouth before turning to Cullen. “Cullen, this is my boyfriend Zevran, who I hear was a bit of a dick to you, and I’m looking forward to hearing that story over a burrito and not being in the middle of a fight.”

“You didn’t tell me they were so hot together.” Mia commented to her, grinning.

“Oh just wait until Zevran sits in Alistair’s lap to claim his territory and they start making out.” Zevran’s mouth twitched and she knew he was trying to suppress a laugh.

“OK, can I please put the food down? I think everyone’s gotten kissed but me, and I’m getting jealous.” Cullen smirked at her.

“Ah, Cullen,  _mi amigo_ , I owe you an apology, here, let me help.” Zevran took the food bag from Cullen then stood on tiptoe and gave Cullen a quick kiss on the lips, making him turn as red as Alistair. Mia laughed and Dust couldn’t help grinning. Alistair just slapped Cullen on the back before following Zevran into the back room with the food.

“Maker’s breath, you’re all insane.” Cullen’s hand was stuck tight to the back of his neck in what she was starting to recognize as his default nervous gesture.

“Poor Noodle.” Dust said with a laugh, slipping out from under Mia’s arm and walking over to him, standing on tiptoe to throw her arms around his neck.

“Cullen, I’m going to marry your sister.” She stage whispered to him.

“A, she’s already married so you can’t, and b, no.” He kissed her on the top of her head.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Mia asked.

“No again.” Cullen said. “Go tease Alistair some more, I want to kiss my- Dust.” 

Dust tried to bite back a laugh but couldn’t help it. Mia wandered into the back room with a chuckle and closed the door a little louder than necessary. Dust grinned up at Cullen.

“Your Dust?” She asked archly.

“Umm...  I just.” Cullen was trying awfully hard not to meet her eyes, which was a pretty big feat considering how close they were. “Sorry, Mia called you my girlfriend earlier, it kind of stuck. But I mean I know we’ve only been out a couple times, I don’t want you to think you have to be. My girlfriend. I mean call yourself that. Maker why are you still letting me talk?”

He was going to be the death of her with all that cute fumbling. He was actually even worse than Alistair. Maybe it was a Ferelden thing. Taking pity on him, she reached up and dug her fingers into his hair, pulling him down so she could stand flat on the floor. Her first kiss was a little peck, light and chaste, just enough to make her lips prickle with his stubble. When she flicked the tip of her tongue across the scar on his lip Cullen made a needy little noise and pulled her in close. She was definitely going to remember that. She tilted his head sideways a bit, enjoying how easy he was to lead, and proceeded to kiss him thoroughly, happy to explore his mouth without an audience for once.

After a few moments she pulled back, just enough to talk, resting her forehead against his. Cullen’s eyes were closed, his cheeks were pink, and his lips were just a bit swollen from her enthusiastic kisses. He was so damn pretty she wanted to just forget their evening plans and take him right home. His home, her home, didn’t matter, as long as there was a bed and a door she could lock.  _Sunday cannot_ possibly  _come soon enough..._

“I’m fine being your girlfriend if that means you’re my boyfriend.” She told him with a smile. Cullen pulled back a bit so he could look at her.

“I’ve been told that’s generally how it works.” His voice had gone a little low and rough, just like it did at Puppy Love, and it sent a little shiver down her spine.

“All right then, all cleared up, easy peasy.” She gave him another quick kiss, pulling away a bit regretfully before it got too involved. “We should eat now before they steal all the food.”

“Whatever makes my girlfriend happy.” Cullen said, grinning like an idiot.

“Oh Creators you are such a nerd. Don’t stop.” She suspected her grin was just as ridiculous as his.

 


	12. Education and Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mia gets a tattoo and Cullen finds out a little more about Dust's family life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this chapter... was not supposed to be this at all, it went completely off the rails. One minute I was trying to figure out Mia's tattoo, the next I was drowning in feels.

Zevran and Alistair left after helping demolish the two Burritozillas they had brought for dinner. Mia, Zevran, and Dust ate the spicy one, and Cullen and Alistair split the “ _gringo_  special” as Dust had called it. Both elves looked admiringly at Mia when they tasted the heat level of the burrito she had built. Still riding high on the idea of Dust as his  _girlfriend_ , he didn’t even mind Mia flirting with her.  _Much_.

Seeing Alistair again after so many years had been strange, but not as stressful as he expected. Alistair didn’t ask him about college, or playing for the Templars, or notice the weight he had put on. Of course the last time they had seen each other they’d both been eighteen, not even fully grown into their own frames yet, so maybe it wasn’t so surprising. There wasn’t really a lot of reminiscing, which he appreciated. Then again Al had always been a little cagey about his home life, and the one thing he had talked about most was getting out of Redcliffe as soon as he was out of school.  _Time to stop assuming everything is about you, Cullen._ His therapist had warned him about that numerous times - it was all too easy to let his anxiety center everything on himself.

Maybe they’d hang out again, get to know each other as adults instead of kids. Might be nice to have a friend with some shared history, and it was always nice to have another football fan around. Bull didn’t give a shit about sports, Dorian preferred soccer, as did pretty much everyone else born outside Ferelden and the Free Marches. And then there was Anders, who actually liked hockey of all the weird ass things. Maybe Alistair would want to join him and Del when they went to the Templars first home game of the season.

He leaned his head back with a small sigh, letting his phone drop to his chest. He was sitting in one of the comfortable chairs of the sitting area while Dust consulted with Mia, the soft sound of female voices mixed with the music Dust had put on in the background. It was one of the most oddly relaxing experiences he’d had outside of his own home in a while. The front door was locked, he was full of delicious food, and they even had beer stocked in their fridge in the back. He was idly nursing one, knowing he’d have plenty of time for it to clear his system before he drove Mia home.

Cullen had never actually been in a tattoo parlor before, though Dust had laughed at him when he called it that. He wasn’t sure what he had expected exactly, but the Painted Crow wasn’t it. The the long wall to the left of the entrance was painted in a mural meant to mimic a porticoed colonnade, with an azure sky and complicated stone work. Cullen was settled in the sitting area that was set up against it, with comfortable leather chairs in rich burgundy and dark wood accents. Past the seating area a hallway led back to a bathroom and some kind of long counter with what he assumed were devices for cleaning equipment.

The main room was sectioned off into two stations, one for Zevran and one for Dust. The door to the lounge where they had eaten was directly opposite the seating area. Over the door a giant version of the watercolor crow from Dust’s helmet spread it’s wings like a kind of guardian spirit over the room. Each station was curtained off, Dust’s in a dark charcoal grey, Zevran’s in deep red. They had pulled all the curtains back though, to open up the room, giving him a good view of each workspace.

Zevran’s was bright and colorful, a bit cluttered but well organized. It had a large drawing table, yellow painted cabinets to hold supplies, a chair like the ones massage therapists used, and a number of decorations sitting on flat surfaces. The walls of their stations didn’t have the same fancy fake wall, instead Zevran had a few beautifully lit and composed photographs of people with magnificent tattoos. There were all different body types and skin tones highlighted, and a mix of tattoo styles, ranging from the watercolor to perfectly lettered black text. In the center was a large framed print of the infamous picture of Dust, her smirking face looking at him from over one shoulder, ink amazingly vivid against the dark background of her skin.

Dust’s space was very similar in setup, but completely different in it’s aesthetics. Her cabinets were white and fronted in glass, pops of color coming from the perfectly arranged display of tattoo ink inside, ordered in the colors of the rainbow. The larger open wall was hung with photographs just like Zevran’s, but all in black and white. There were a few water color pieces, and a number of shots of incredibly intricate pieces that looked like a cross between lace and jewelry, similar to the garter tattoos on her thighs.

There were also some very interesting body tattoos in a style similar to the ones on Dust’s face and arms, that all appeared on Elvehn models. Against the other wall that made up the corner of her space was an intricately carved cabinet with a motif of three trees. Sitting on top of it was something that looked like it might be some kind of tiny shrine, with a beautiful little miniature tree, an incense holder shaped like an owl, and a small carving of a bear. Looking at it had made him realize, guiltily, that he really knew nothing about her people or her religion, only that she wasn’t Andrastian. He should see if he could find anything out online, maybe double check with Merrill about it so he didn’t fuck up and step in a cultural mine field… again.

“Hey Noodle, you look comfy.” He opened his eyes to see Dust standing over him smiling.

“Yup.” He replied with a grin.

“I’m gonna get your sister out of her pants and get to work now.”

Cullen groaned. “That is wrong on every imaginable level, and you’re evil, you know that right?”

“It’s been mentioned, by you specifically, more than once. I think you like it though.” Her smile was sinful, and she was right, he liked it a lot more than he should.

“I don’t think it’s fair that you’re getting my sister out of her pants before you get me out of mine.” He grumbled.

“I heard that Cully Wully, and you should know by now I always get to go first!” Mia called from behind the grey curtain.

“Shut it Mimi!”

Dust just laughed, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead.

“My gun is pretty quiet, but if it gets on your nerves you can go into the lounge, the TV has cable and Netflix hooked up, or you can stretch out on the couch if you want.” She gently ran her fingers through his hair, scratching softly at his scalp in a way that made his whole body tingle. He had all but given up using any hair products to tame his curls, especially when he knew he was going to see her.  _I am so gone,_ he thought to himself, not minding in the least.

“I’m good. I’ve got some books to read on my phone, but if I get bored I’ll check it out.”

“Good. I work pretty fast. I think it will take me about two, two and a half hours?” Her fingers were still in his hair and she could have told him he’d be waiting for the rest of the week and he probably wouldn’t have objected.

“Sure.” He replied, realizing she actually expected him to use works.

“Nerd.” She said affectionately. “I’m going to work now.”

“If you must.” He said, smiling lazily at her. She shook her head and headed back to her station, where she had already closed the curtains.

In the end the faint buzzing of the tattoo gun, the sound of Mia and Dust chatting and laughing, and the gorgeous voice of Janelle Monae ended up sending him right to sleep. He woke with a start, heart racing, head fuzzy, but luckily not with the paralyzing terror of one of his nightmares. After a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down he reached down to take a swig of his beer, only to find it gone flat. He checked his watch, shocked to see it was nearly ten. The sound of the curtain opening got his attention and Dust stepped out, smiling when she saw him.

“Hey sleeping beauty.” She walked over and perched on the arm of his chair, reaching up to rub her neck in a motion that reminded him of his own nervous gesture. “Mia thought we should wake you so we didn’t fuck up your sleep schedule, but you were so cute I successfully argued to let you sleep.”

He felt a twinge of guilt, knowing that Mia had tried to help him avoid embarrassing himself by having a nightmare in the middle of Dust’s shop. Thank the Maker it hadn’t happened. He felt like he’d made a narrow escape. Dust was looking a little concerned, reaching down to brush her warm fingers over his forehead.

“You ok Noodle?” She asked. Her voice was so nice - low, a little gravely but rich. He wondered idly  if she could sing, she sounded like she’d have a nice singing voice. Now that he’d heard her speak more, he was also noticing she had just the slightest trace of an accent, nothing distinct like Zevran’s, but just a little twist to certain sounds that was distinctly hers.

“Yeah, sorry, just always a little out of it when I wake up from a nap.” He smiled up at her, reaching up to run a hand over her leg. Her jeans had so many random holes in the fabric that he got little brushes of warm skin as he slid his hand down her thigh to her knee.  

“No worries. So you wanna see? I’m super happy with how it turned out.”

“What?” He was confused… and possibly slightly distracted by the contrast of warm, soft skin and ragged denim under his hand.

“The tattoo? You know, the thing I just spent two and a half hours permanently etching on your sister’s skin?” She poked him testily right in his pec, making him laugh and wiggle involuntarily. She looked at him like he’d just given her a pony for Satinalia.  _Oh shit._ “You’re ticklish!”

“So this tattoo, let’s see it!” He exclaimed brightly, ignoring her second comment completely.  _Pretend it didn’t happen and maybe she’ll forget._

“I’m so on to you Noodle, but I’ll save that for later.” She promised with a wicked smile. She flicked at her phone screen and then held it down so he could see a close up of a tattoo on the curve of Mia’s hip, just high enough to keep him from being squicked out. He blinked and took the phone out of her hand to get a better look.

“Holy shit, this is  _gorgeous!_ ” He said, staring down at the screen.

“I’d get annoyed because of how shocked you sound, but you’ve never seen my work before so I forgive you.”

The tattoo was in beautiful warm tones, reds and soft oranges and deep golden yellow. It was a mabari rampant, but in a style he’d never seen before, geometric watercolors that reminded him a bit of stained glass. A crown hovered over the mabari’s head, the distinctive type associated with the queen in chess, all spiked edges with a sphere at the top. Beneath the mabari was a banner, and in small, beautiful script it said “Queen Takes All.” It was perfect, and perfectly Mia. The queen herself walked down the hallway from the bathroom as he was looking, a bit stiffly but grinning from ear to ear.

“What do you think Cully? I can’t wait to show Anora!”

“It’s gorgeous. You’re super lucky your brother has such an amazing girlfriend.” He replied smugly. Dust and Mia both laughed, and he handed Dust back her phone.

“Who’s Anora, is that your other sister?” Dust asked. Cullen chuckled.

“She means Queen Anora of Ferelden.” Cullen said drily. “Our other siblings are named Rosalie and Branson.”

“You’re friends with the Queen of Ferelden?” Dust asked Mia. She sounded more confused than impressed, which was a nice change of pace from the fawning it normally produced when Mia mentioned that little fact.

“Sort of out by necessity. We’re close to the same age, and Maker knows she needs someone to talk to more intelligent than Cailan.” Mia said, rolling her eyes.

“Mia!” Cullen objected. He wasn’t exactly a hardcore patriot, but it felt almost blasphemous to hear his sister disparaging the  _king_ that way.

“Oh come off it Culls, Cailan is a moron.” Mia snapped. “Anora is one hundred percent responsible for all of the best changes being made to Ferelden, and it’s bullshit that everyone acts like she’s some domineering witch for making our kingdom better. Cailan’s lucky to have her. We’re all lucky to have her, honestly.”

Dust was simply blinking at Mia, obviously a bit confused.

“Sorry, I get a little salty about politics, and Cullen has never shared my passion.” Mia said apologetically.

“Obsession.” He muttered. Mia ignored him.

“I meet her fairly regularly at official functions, and I’m helping her with one of her current educational initiatives. Teagan’s older brother is one of Cailan’s more prominent advisors. He’s also an old fashioned ass hat who thinks blood is more important than talent, and that Anora should be busy having children instead of improving learning and living conditions in alienages and other low income areas.”

That certainly got Dust’s attention. “Is that something Anora is interested in?”

“Yes, we both are. I don’t know if Cullen’s told you, but I’m the principle of an elementary school in Redcliffe. It’s in a low income area, we have a mix of humans, elves, and even some vashoth children. We’re constantly fighting funding cuts, poor home life situations, so many ingrained prejudices, it’s incredibly frustrating. I wish Eamon would permanently hand over the reigns to Teagan so I could make some real damn changes, but no, he’s too busy with his new Orlesian trophy wife to worry about a dropout rate of thirty percent for elementary school students!  _Elementary!”_ She looked fierce, eyes bright, hands moving dramatically as she spoke.

“Mia…” He said pleadingly, knowing that once she got going she’d talk for hours about discrimination and segregation, naming figures and terminology no one had ever heard of. She glared at him, obviously sensing his discomfort. He looked up at Dust, who was staring at Mia, expression unreadable.

“Mia is very passionate about education.” He explained. “She’s planning to be the Ferelden Minister of Education by the time she’s forty.”

“I wish Antiva had a Mia and an Anora when I was growing up.” Dust said softly. She rubbed at her wrist, looking tired. It occurred to him she’d probably been working for way longer than eight hours.

“Well, anyway,” Mia said brightly, apparently seeing the same fatigue he did. “I love it, and Anora will thinks it’s fantastic. She’ll probably want to know the next time you’re in Denerim for a show.”

Dust laughed at that. “If the queen of Ferelden wants a tattoo I’m sure I can work something out. She can always pay my travel expenses, that’s what Madame de Fer did. Flew me all the way to Val Royeaux to do temp tattoos on all her models. I thought Dorian was going to have an aneurism from jealousy.”

“Holy shit, you were at one Vivienne de Fer’s shows?” Mia sounded more impressed by whoever Vivienne de Fer was then Dust had sounded over the queen of Ferelden. Now Cullen was completely out of his element. Mia and Dust continued to talk about the fashion show while he tuned them out, checking his phone to find a few text messages.

_Bull: I want a pic of Mia’s tat!_

_Del: Hey man, I hear you’re coming to the derby meet on Friday, I’ll buy you a beer!_

_Krem: Hey Culls, Lace wants you and Dust to come over for dinner sometime, maybe next weekend when they don’t have a match?_

He blinked, surprised to see so many messages. Apparently getting a girlfriend upped his social interest factor.

“Hey Cully, you fall asleep again? We’re done talking about fashion shows now.” Mia was smiling fondly at him, eyes on his hand which he realized he still had on Dust’s leg.

“Ah, yeah, sure!” He moved his hand, trying not to be too obvious about it, standing up and stretching. “Umm… Mimi, Bull wants a picture of your tattoo, and Dust, Krem and Lace want us to have dinner with them. Also my friend Del will be at your match this Friday.”

“Wait, Del? Delrin “so hot it hurts” Barris? That Del?” Mia’s eyes lit up like a kid at Satinalia and he groaned. Dust laughed.

“Oh, you’ve definitely met him then. He comes to almost every match we have Noodle, he’s very into watching Nirah knock over women twice her size.”

“Do you do that?” He asked, looking at her. “Is that how you get black eyes and split lips?”

“That little worried face you make is surprisingly cute. No, I’m a jammer, not a blocker, my job is to get through the people they’re knocking over. Unfortunately it sometimes puts my face at elbow level. Oh and I’ll text Bull a picture of the tattoo if that’s ok with you Mia?”

“Of course, as long as you send it to me too! I’m going to send it to everyone. Teagan’s going to love it too.” The smile she gave was definitely too full of information for Cullen’s taste.

“Oversharing Mimi.” He commented.

“Maker, you’re like a twelve year old virgin Culls. How the hell do you think I got Kiki and the twins? Asexual budding?”

“Are you two always like this?” Dust asked, looking between the two of them with amusement.

“Mostly.” Cullen admitted with a smile.

“Well, go banter at home, I need to lock up and head home, I’m wiped.”

“Can we help with anything?” Mia asked.

“Nah, I’m fine, I’m used to it. Oh, let me grab you the Aquaphor!” Dust hopped off the chair to head back to her station, shoving the curtains open. “Take the plastic off and wash carefully when you get home, and avoid anything too tight, keep it out of the sun, no scratching, the usual. Just spread the oil you mentioned on it, and then put a thin layer of the Aquaphor on top. If you have any issues just text me.” Dust opened her curtains, shuffling through her cabinet and coming out with a small jar of what Cullen assumed was Aquaphor, whatever the Void that was. She handed it over and gave Mia a hug.

“What do I owe you?” Mia asked.

“Oh you already paid.” Dust said with a grin. She screwed her face up into a good impression of Mia’s best condescending expression. “I bet you two just get all the girls, you’re both so pretty!” Her impression of Mia was spot on, right down to the accent and inflection. Both he and Mia burst out laughing.

“That was great!” He said brightly. Dust grinned.

“Anyway, the point is you paid in advance in sweet revenge, and a possible in with the queen of Ferelden, which I definitely was not expecting. Now both of you get out, I’m tired!”

“Yes ma’am!” Mia said, reaching down to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you sweetie, I love it so much I can’t even tell you. I can’t wait to see you in action on Friday! Cullen, gimme the keys so you can kiss her goodbye, I’ll go start the car.”

He reached in his pocket and handed Mia his keys. His sister was a good egg. He smiled at her as she walked past him, giving him a wink.

“Your sister is amazing, you know that right?” Dust had a wistful smile on her face, her tone a little sad.

“Do you have any siblings?” He asked, suddenly realizing he knew nothing about her family. She was quiet for a minute, rubbing at her wrist again. Her hand must have been tired from working all day.

“No. I was an only child.” The way she said it was a little odd, he wasn’t sure exactly why, but her tone just didn’t sound right. “I grew up mostly in foster homes. Zev’s probably the closest thing I’ve got to a brother. Thankfully we’re not  _actually_ related though.” Her smile was sharp, and the little laugh she gave didn’t have a lot of amusement in it.

_Oh look, another land mine!_ He thought, feeling his stomach plummet.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea.” He wanted to hug her, but the way she was standing, arms wrapped tight around her stomach, made him think she wouldn’t appreciate it.

“I know, that’s why I’m tell you. You don’t have to apologize.” She didn’t look at him though, just stood there with her arms wrapped around herself. The plunging feeling in his stomach didn’t stop, and he could feel his heartbeat getting faster.  _No, for fuck’s sake, this isn’t about you Cullen, calm down!_ She took a deep breath while he was mentally berating himself. When she looked up at him her face was calm, but sad, and he felt like it probably wasn’t an expression she showed a lot of people. “It’s just, I don’t usually spend a lot of time around families, I think I’m a little jealous.”

Deciding to risk getting closer, if not touching, he walked the short distance to where she was standing, coming into her space but still not reaching out. His heart was still beating too fast and he felt a bit sick, but that tired, sad look on her face was so wrong he just wanted to find a way to fix it. The problem was, he had no idea  _how_. Several jokes ran through his head, every one of them worse than the next.

“I can’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t make me sound like an ass.” He finally admitted, which got him a small huff of laughter. “Can I offer a hug instead?”

“Yeah.” Dust said softly leaning forward until her head was resting on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, gently running one of his hands up and down her back. Her arms unfolded, wrapping around his waist, fingers clutching tight in his t-shirt. She let out a soft shaky breath, and he felt the heat of it against his neck and couldn’t help but shiver.

“I’m sorry. It normally doesn’t bother me.”

“Please don’t apologize to me. Really, trust me, you don’t have to.” Keeping one hand on her back he stroked her neck, gently massaging the tense muscles. She held him a little tighter, taking another deep breath. She seemed to relax slowly against him, until she was pressed warm and soft against him, the sweet smell of her hair filling his nose, her breath still puffing against his neck. The music was still playing in the background, beautiful and ethereal, the lyrics suddenly clear and resonant in his ears.

_Oh, Maker have you ever loved?_

_Or known just what it was?_

_I can't imagine the bitter end_

_Of all the beauty that we're living in?_

He took a deep breath, the strange mix of hope and sadness in the melody and words making his chest ache with a need he couldn’t even identify. His hands seemed to move of their own volition, coming up to cup Dust’s face, gently urging her to look up. Her pupils were wide in the low light, only a faint ring of that pale, crystal blue around the edges. Her tattoos seemed strange and vivid against her skin, and he traced the lines down her cheeks with his thumbs before leaning down to kiss her. It was soft, chaste, barely a brush of skin against skin, and yet he seemed to feel it in every inch of his body.

_Suffering in sinking sand_

_All the hurt_

_See I'm really lost baby_

_We suffered a rare, rare blue_

_So much hurt_

_On this earth_

Dust made a noise, sweet and low, her mouth falling slightly open, her hands uncurling until they were laying flat, shifting to press tight against his ribs. He brushed the tip of his tongue against her bottom lip, enjoying the feel of it, soft and plush, before sliding past it into her mouth. She didn’t take control this time, apparently content to let him slip against the warmth and wetness of her tongue, gently twining with his, pliant but responsive. Heat pooled in his abdomen, an incipient arousal, slow and steady, instead of the flashing heat she normally inspired.

_But you loved me_

_And I really dared to love you too_

_Perhaps what I mean to say is_

_Is that it's amazing that your love was mine_

He pulled back, brushing his lips against hers again in a kind of farewell, not wanting to break the strange, wistful feeling of the kiss by pushing too hard. He rested his forehead against hers, still stroking her cheeks as they stood for a few moments, breath mingling as the song faded, words sinking into indistinct whispers around them.

“You should go, before Mia starts to worry I’m in here ravishing you.” Dust said finally, voice barely more than a whisper. He chuckled, lifting his head to plant a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I’m pretty sure she’d just high five me when I came out.” He said with a smile. “Or maybe come in and high five you instead.”

“Good to know.” She pulled back and sighed, letting her hands fall from his sides. “I really do need to close up and head home though  _cariño_.”

He let her go but took her hand, looking down at her seriously.

“Are you ok to ride home? Should I drive you instead? We can drop you off and then go home.”

“No, I’m fine, I promise.” Her smile was beautiful and the sad expression had mostly cleared away.  I’ll text you when I get home, ok?”

“OK.” He gave her another kiss on the cheek, then turned to the door. She followed to let him out, smiling and waving through the glass door when he got outside. He waved back and headed for the Jeep. Mia was looking like the cat who swallowed the canary, grinning at him from ear to ear. He didn’t bother to say anything, just got in the driver’s seat and put his seatbelt on.

“You are so smitten.” Mia commented. He could feel his cheeks heating, but he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh Mimi, I really am.”

* * *

 

_Snow Fox: Home safe and sound Noodle._

_Noodle: Good. Thank you so much for indulging Mia, she’s really delighted. It was really generous of you._

_Snow Fox: Sometimes it’s nice to do it just because I can. I’m charging the hell out of your queen if she calls though._

_Noodle: My parents’ tax dollars at work, they’ll be so pleased._

_Snow Fox: lol Don’t worry, I’m worth it._

_Noodle: No argument here. See you Friday?_

_Snow Fox: See you Friday._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, Janelle Monae is basically solely responsible for Cullen and Dust's relationship. The song playing in the background is her song [Oh Maker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zGqrH3pz8Y) which is gorgeous and sad and strange.
> 
> Mia's tattoo is based on the work of Russian tattoo artist [Sasha Unisex](http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/the-coolest-animal-tattoos-from-russian-artist-sasha-unisex?utm_term=.yhkXGAYdk&sub=2971447_2380714#.blnrw2XkD).
> 
> Please note I am not a tattoo artist, and each shop/artist has different recommendations for aftercare. My conclusion is that it seems to vary wildly by artists and person being tattood as to what works best. For those curious this after care is based on what I used for my own tattoo (I have a very large back piece that took about 22 hours all together). I used the severely overpriced but lovely [Divine Oil](http://www.sephora.com/divine-oil-P374502?&om_mmc=ppc-GG&mkwid=sHrZM9NBA&pcrid=67315811932&pdv=c&site=us_search&country_switch=us&lang=en&gclid=CjwKEAiApYGyBRC-g_jIstuduV8SJABCEzhZIvoolRKik8CD7rp41BVdgPLWVoRK_rEkLatuBYjgAhoCtEXw_wcB) from Caudalie, and then topped it with [Aquaphor](http://www.amazon.com/Aquaphor-Healing-Ointment-Irritated-Protectant/dp/B006IB5T4W) (which is a kind of Vasaline on steroids) and had great luck with healing, but mileage may vary, so please don't randomly decide to use this as guidance for after care!


	13. Dread and Delrin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Mia do lunch before the big derby meet, and Delrin had something important to discuss with Cullen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes to some kind of possibly triggering places. If you're concerned, please see the notes below where I will explain what happens. Please note that Cullen thinks of himself with some derogatory and ableist language in several places in this chapter. Sadly, I think they're the sort of thoughts that most of us with mental illness think on bad days, so be careful ok?
> 
> Fiddlehead ferns are a thing you can eat and [they look like this.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiddlehead_fern#/media/File:Fiddleheads_Crosses_de_foug%C3%A8re.jpg)
> 
> The derby arena is based on the one in my neck of the woods, [which is super awesome looking.](https://www.flickr.com/photos/photophotofarley/16710993198/in/photostream/lightbox)
> 
> Amazing illustration of Dust is by the amazing [Esakris](http://esakris.tumblr.com) who is magnificent, easy to work with, and appreciates a girl with thick thighs.

“Maker’s sake Cully, stop poking at your salad like it’s going to grow hands and slap you, it’s like eating lunch with my kids.” Mia’s tone was sharp but amused, and Cullen ignored the admonishment, trying to figure out what manner of plants the various greens in his salad might have come from. The flower petals were weird but identifiable, but there were also things that looked like little curled up green insects, and he was just not sure what was going on with his life.

“Mia, what in the Void are these.” He asked, holding one up on his fork. She laughed.

“Fiddleheads. They’re just another kind of green Cully, you’ll like them.”

Dubious but game, he popped one in his mouth and was surprised to discover she was right, they were actually good. The delicious salad dressing might have helped, but they had an interesting flavor he’d never be able to describe, other than good. He wondered if Dust would like them, then laughed at himself mentally for letting nearly every thought he had circle back to her. They were eating lunch at a restaurant that Dorian had recommended in Hightown, and Cullen could admit the food so far was better than expected. Mia had gotten tired of eating junk food, and at least the view was nice, they were seated near a window and he could see all the way down to the bay.

“Hey Cullen.” Mia said, and her tone was surprisingly hesitant, something he almost never heard from her. When he looked up she was staring at him intently, which seldom boded well. His stomach churned and he put his fork down, willing himself to just keep breathing normally. “Have you told Dust about the accident?”

His heart beats too fast, his limbs go cold, and he can feel it, feel the glass in his leg and his side, the seat belt strapping him in

_Cold cold cold their eyes are staring and it’s, the smell_

_Maker he’s staring staring don’t stare at me I’m sorry you’re dead, not my fault, why why why the smell…_

“Cullen.”

_They’re moving, how are they moving?_

_Why are you alive Cullen?_

_Why are you alive and we’re dead, dead, you should be with us…_

“Cullen!”  Fingers dig into the back of his neck, warm and strong, and he can see Mia, her brown eyes serious, but there’s no pity on her face, only command. “Cullen, you need to breath little brother, breath with me.” She takes a deep breath and he tries to do the same, but he can’t, only manages a shallow pant. She keeps breathing, pace regular and unchanging and eventually he is able to mimic her, though his breathing still has shudders and hitches he can’t control.

“Ma’am, is everything alright?”A low voice asks, male, and he wants to run, to get away from people,  _to hide_.

“Yes, thank you, everything is under control. Could you please bring us a pitcher of water and two glasses?” Mia’s voice, calm, low, confident.  _There is nothing bad happening._

His skin is clammy, sweat prickles under his shirt, _cold cold cold._

“Cullen, I’m right here, everything is fine, you’re with Mia, keep breathing.” The fingers are still on his neck, still strong, warm. He breaths,  _in, out, in, out, in…_

Cullen blinked, his sister’s face swimming into view. Mia looked perfectly serene, as if she were doing some kind of off the cuff yoga exercises instead of talking her younger brother through a panic attack in the middle of a swanky restaurant. His stomach burned with shame and the after effects of his flashback.

“Mia.” His voice came out a croak and she handed him a glass of water. When the waiter had brought it, he hadn’t noticed. He took a sip, then a gulp, suddenly realizing how thirsty he was.

“Maker I’m sorry.” He managed to get out, horrified to feel his face prickle with the telltale ache of tears. “Fuck I am so damned useless.”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare say things like that about my brother.” Mia’s still sounded calm, but she was using her “don’t argue” voice, a meld of the sternest tones employed by both their father and mother, the kind of thing that would stop a charging druffalo in it’s tracks. “I’m the one who should apologize, I should have asked you when we were in your home, but I didn’t anticipate. Your reaction is completely understandable Cullen, and you came out of it quickly. Everything is fine.”

He put his elbows on his knees and then rested his face in his hands, stomach churning. Maker’s breath he felt like shit.

“I’m so fucking tired of this Mimi. Why the fuck am I like this, why doesn’t it just go away? It’s been eight fucking years I should be over this by now!”

“You know I can give you plenty of answers to that question, but they aren’t what you want right now.” She gave his back a gentle rub, and it was soothing. Touch was one of the sure fire ways to help stop his panic attacks, and he associated Mia’s touch with calm and comfort. She stopped when he finally leaned back in his chair.

“We should go. Maybe they can pack the food up.”

“Why?” Mia asked.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because I just humiliated myself in front of an entire restaurant?” He asked, tone venomous.

“No, you had a panic attack in the middle of a restaurant where everyone is too self involved to give a fuck. You had a perfectly natural reaction to remembering a traumatic event, triggered by your sister being a right git, and that’s no reason not to enjoy our lunch if you feel up to eating.”

She sat back down across from him as if nothing had happened, beaming at the waiter who appeared as if by magic to set down the cocktail she had ordered as well as Cullen’s Coke. He smiled benignly at both of them and then walked off as if he hadn’t witnessed Cullen freaking out like a crazy person.

“Mimi, what’s it like to be perfect and live in a world where nothing goes wrong?” He asked, tone biting. He knew he was being an ass, but it was hard to deal with the fact that nothing ever seemed to go wrong for Mia. She’d known exactly what she wanted to do with her life from the time she was fourteen years old, and she’d pursued that goal with a single minded determination that apparently the entire universe was afraid to interfere with. The look she gave him in return was withering.

“We are not going to compete in the misery Olympics Cullen. You and I both know that isn’t true, and while I understand where you’re coming from, I will still kick your ass for being a little shit.” She took a sip of her bright pink drink, not even bothering to glare at him. Maybe it should have made him feel worse, but he actually laughed. It felt strange, like he was just remembering how, after not doing so for years.

“To answer your original question, no, I haven told her and that’s exactly why. The last thing I need is to fall apart in front of a woman I’ve been dating for barely two weeks.” He was trying not to sound snappish and rude, but he was feeling the exhaustion that always seemed guaranteed to follow one of his panic attacks. This hadn’t been the worst one he’d ever had, by any stretch of the imagination. (The worst had involved a lot of popped stitched, being restrained by nurses, and copious amounts of drugs to knock him back out.) But he hadn’t had one in months, and it felt like such a blow to have one now.

“That makes sense.” Mia conceded. “My major concern is that unless you’re planning a good old fashioned fuck and fly, your nightmares might be something she should be aware of.”

She was blithely eating her salad while she tore his life apart, typical fucking Mia.

“Maker’s breath Mia. Why in the Void are you thinking about my sex life?”

“Because I love you, I want you to be happy, and I think Dust is great. I don’t want you to fuck up what you’re building with her because you were too stubborn to give her a heads up about your mental health.” Mia sipped her drink again. “Also because have you seen her ass? I’m married and Teagan doesn’t like to share, so I’m going to be living vicariously through you. Though if you do fuck up he might make an exception for Dust.”

“Ugh, gross Mimi! Also Teagan is not allowed anywhere near her.” Mia just laughed at him, and he found himself giving her a small smile, in spite of himself.

“Do you want me to tell her what happened?” Mia asked. “It doesn’t need to be a production Cully, just a simple ‘hey this happened to him and there are some things you should know’.”

He was tempted. He was so very tempted. Mia would explain everything in that nonchalant way she had that made everything seem perfectly normal and reasonable. When  _he_ tried to explain his problems to other people it led to panic attacks and misunderstandings. When Mia was around he didn’t think of himself as being a freak, so firm was her belief that his weirdness was actually a perfectly reasonable reaction to a serious trauma.

“I… honestly I want you to, but I think I should be the one to do it.”

Their waiter reappeared, topping off their water glasses from the pitcher and whisking away Mia’s finished salad. Cullen looked at his with disinterest and indicated he was finished. Maybe he could get his food packed up to go.

“Whatever you think is best Cully, just… please tell her, ok? If you have a panic attack or a nightmare and she’s unprepared you could really scare her.”

Mia didn’t elaborate on what would happen next. She didn’t need to - Cullen had a pattern, and they both knew it. It was the same way with Alina first, right after the accident, and then later with Raleigh. He’d feel like shit after he scared them, blow the whole thing so out of proportion he couldn’t figure out how to deal with it, and run away. If they tried to figure out what was wrong, he’d push them away, leaving them hurt, angry, and wondering what happened. Eventually they got so tired of the push and pull they left to find someone less crazy. Thinking of repeating that particular pattern with Dust made him groan.

“I’ll… yeah. I’ll tell her.” He promised. Sunday, when he went over to her place for dinner, they’d be alone for once and he could talk to her. Sunday was going to be a very interesting evening.

* * *

“Holy shit, this place is amazing!” Mia was staring wide eyed at the derby track and bleachers, set against the dramatic background of the huge windows that made up three of the four walls of the building they were in. When Cullen had found out they’d be heading down to the docks in Lowtown for the match, he’d been more than a little dubious, but he had to admit that Mia was right - the place was pretty amazing.

“Come on kids, Del and Krem are saving us seats. You should learn to hang out with your fellow Derby Dude, Cullen.” Bull grinned and winked at him, making his way around the outer edge of the track toward one of the sets of bleachers. Cullen sincerely hopes “derby dudes” was just Bull making shit up and not a title he was going to get stuck with. He had no idea if Bull just knew where he was going, or if he had actually managed to catch site of their friends over the heads of the milling crowd.

There were way more people than Cullen had expected. He was glad he had taken Mia’s advice and had taken one of his anxiety pills before they left, because having people shoved up this close against him, making him feel trapped, was not his favorite thing. They had taken his Jeep, but Mia had declared herself his designated driver so that he could relax. Mia was one of the only people he could stand to let drive him places - she had been the one to chauffeur him to and from school as well as to sporting events as soon as she got her license - price for letting her use one of their parents’ cars. For some reason his brain was fine with him being a passenger with someone who’d driven him before the accident, but not people he’d met after. Yet another thing in his head that made no damn sense.

The crowd was a wide and varied mix of people - humans, elves, dwarves, and a pretty large number of qunari. He wondered how often Dust found herself competing against qunari - he couldn’t say he liked the idea of watching her get elbowed in the face by someone the size of Ink or Shokrakar. It was beginning to dawn on him that he was potentially about to watch his girlfriend get injured, and that did not improve his general level of nerves. Before he could get too worked up about it he heard Bull’s voice booming out ahead of them in greeting.

“Horns up!” He yelled, getting a cheer in return. Cullen tried to look around the bodies in front of him to the stands - from the cheer it sounded like all of the Chargers might be in there. The managed to wend their way out of the crowd and behind a rickety little railing covered in heavy plastic draping, to see a bunch of familiar people, most of them wearing pink. He grinned when he caught sight of both Krem and Del, who were waving enthusiastically.

“Andraste’s tits that man is gorgeous.” Mia commented next to him.

“Which one?” Cullen asked with a laugh.

“Yes!” Was Mia’s cheeky response. Still laughing, they made their way up into the sea of pink clad people. Bull made introductions, and Cullen was right, every single person from the shop had shown up, and even Skinner was sporting a pink tank top with the logo he had seen on a banner outside of a grey kitten in roller skates clutching a burrito. It was possibly the most absurdly adorable thing he had ever seen. When Bull had pulled on a pink v-neck shirt as they got ready, Cullen had just assumed it was because he liked pink (which he did - Bull’s entire bathroom was decorated in pink and white) but he could see that hadn’t been the only reason. Dorian’s concession to cheering on his roommate’s team appeared to be a form fitting grey shirt and black pants. Cullen felt a bit out of place with his red shirt and blue jeans, but at least Mia wasn’t wearing pink either.

“Hey man! Good to see you, about time you came to one of the matches!” Del grinned and gave him a hug, patting him on the back. “Did you all eat yet? There’s a couple of great food trucks outside, and I want to get you that beer!”

Cullen wasn’t terribly hungry, but he figured he’d be better off with some food in his system if he was going to have a couple beers on top of his meds. He pulled Mia away from flirting with Krem long enough to see if she was hungry. In the end Del, Cullen, and Bull made their way back out of the building, getting their hands stamped for re-entry along the way.

Bull veered off to the Par Rollin truck, which apparently served some kind of amazing fusion qunari dishes that Bull promised would not burn his mouth unless he asked nice. Cullen and Del veered off on beer duty since Bull promised he’d be able to carry all the food on his own. Cullen had to admit, the environment was pretty fun, everyone seemed cheerful and relaxed, there was a definite whiff of weed in the air, and the smell of the food being cooked in the trucks managed to block out the salt and rot smell he normally associated with the docks.

“So you and Dust... can’t say I saw that coming.” Del’s green eyes were bright as he glanced at Cullen, smile teasing. “Nirah was pretty excited when she came home from practice the other night.”

“And let me guess, she told you all about my date fail on the first night we were out.” Cullen had a feeling that Dust wasn’t the shy type when it came to talking about dates.  _Oh Maker, she’s going to tell her team when we have sex…_ He was suddenly really looking forward to that beer.

“Well yeah, she might have.” Del admitted with a grin, slapping him on the back. “Don’t worry man, at least you got the embarrassing shit out of the way first. And shit, I know for a fact Dust has been in at least one bar fight, because Nirah was in it with her.”

“Wait, you’re shitting me, Nirah and Dust were in a bar fight together?” Del nodded and his eyes narrowed, his smile taking on an edge. “Let’s just say neither of them has a lot of tolerance for asshole dudes who call them knife-ear when a woman tells them no.”

Considering Cullen wanted to punch something just picturing it, he couldn’t blame the Elvehn women at all.

“Good for them. Just glad they didn’t get in trouble.”

“Oh they sure as Void did. Half the team got arrested. Made for quite the little party at the police station. They got off with agreeing to pay damages to the owner of the bar. The assholes who started it on the other hand, are still doing community service. Varric is one hell of an attorney, let me tell you!”

They made it to the front of the line at that point so Cullen didn’t have to come up with something intelligent to say. He pictured Dust in her leather jacket, decking some idiot frat boy who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and he had to admit the idea not only made him viciously happy, but it was hot as well. Once they had grabbed beers for everyone, and fought over paying, Cullen finally letting Del get pay, they each took a couple cups and headed back towards the door.

“Anyway man, I actually wanted to get you alone for a minute to let you know Nirah and I set a date, and I want you to be my best man.” Cullen immediately choked on his beer when he tried to breath and drink at the same time. By the time he recovered they both had tears rolling down their face from laughter, and in Cullen’s case, mild asphyxiation. He was also wearing at least some of his beer on his jeans, but he didn’t give a damn

“Shit man, I want to give you a hug and our arms are full of beer!” He could feel the grin on his face that matched Del’s.

“Don’t worry about it, you can hug me later. Nirah would probably want Mia to take a picture.”

“Well you know, if it makes Nirah happy I can pander. Anyway, when’s the big day?”

“15th of Bloomingtide, at my parent’s estate in Ferelden.” Del’s grin got a little soft around the edges, his eyes going far away. “Man, I can’t even fucking wait. I know it’s a bit of a trip to go all the way to Ferelden for a friend’s wedding, but I’m hoping you can make a bit of a vacation of it.”

“Oh I’ll find a way, I promise Del. I’m honored you’d ask me.” Cullen knew he was grinning from ear to ear. It was completely true - Del’s friendship had been steadfast and constant. He had been the only one of Cullen’s circle of college friends who had been there for him both before and after the accident and the subsequent recovery period that came with it. It was good to know that he’d managed to return that friendship well enough that Del wanted him to be best man.

“Come on, let’s get back, we’ve got plenty of time to get emotional.” Delrin bumped his shoulder gently with his own. Smiling so hard his face hurt, Cullen followed him back into the thick of the crowd. The late summer light was sinking away behind them over the water and it seemed the crowd was growing.

“I had no idea roller derby was so popular.” He told Del loudly in an attempt to be heard over the crowd. “Are matches always this busy?”

“Not quite - it’s popular but tonight we’re playing a couple of Starkhaven teams, so you know that’s gonna pull a crowd.”

Kirkwall and Starkhaven were the biggest rivals in the free marches -it had been that way for literally centuries. Only now instead of occasionally going to war, they threw sports teams at each other. The Starkhaven Saints had always been the Kirkwall Templars’ biggest rivals. He grinned at the idea of watching a couple of unknown Starkhaven teams getting their asses kicked, especially by his girlfriend and her team. The night was getting better all the time.

They were almost to the main entrance again when a flash of pink to the right caught his eye. There was a small booth set up, with a large banner saying “Los Purritos Calientes” filled with team paraphernalia. What caught his eye was a poster hanging along the roof of the tented top of the booth with “Gorgeous Gravedust Lavellan” in looping script over a black and white picture of Dust in what he assumed was her uniform, grinning fiercely and flipping off the viewer. He crossed over to the booth as if pulled by a giant magnet, his legs not even bothering to consult his brain until he was standing in front of the booth staring at the picture.

“You a fan cutie?” A female voice asked, and his cheeks heated as he realized he’d probably been staring longer than appropriate. The pretty dwarf girl working the counter had aggressively straight black bangs, the rest of her hair dyed bright pink and pulled up in a messy ponytail. She was wearing a black tank top with the Purritos logo and grinning at him knowingly.

“Uh… yeah, you could say that.” He admitted sheepishly.

“Perfect, then you should buy swag! It all goes to help support costs for the team, like travel and uniforms, plus it helps us pitch in for this awesome space.”

“Ha, should have known this is what got your attention! Hey Vera.” Delrin had found him and obviously knew the friendly sales woman. “This is Cullen, he’s Dust’s new boyfriend.”

Ten minutes later Cullen had bought a poster of Dust, a team calendar, both a hoodie and t-shirt with the Purritos logo and Dust’s number on them for him, and a pink tank top with logo and number for Mia. Del was barely holding back hysterical laughter, and he was pretty sure the beer was warm, but he just couldn’t seem to care. Vera popped it all in a paper bag and put the handle over his wrist for him so they could make their way back to the bleachers. Derby dude indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mia asks Cullen if he has told Dust about his accident, and Cullen has a full on panic attack while out at lunch. There are hazy flashbacks to the car accident that he had in college which ended his football career and left him with anxiety and nightmares. Mia walks him though it but Cullen is pretty hard on himself about the whole thing. There isn't anything terribly graphic. If you want to skip that bit, go to the second section of the chapter, which is much more cheerful. Please keep in mind I am not a medical professional so I may have some shit wrong - most of this is built from my own experience with anxiety. There will be more of this sort of thing in the future from Cullen, so please keep that in mind.


	14. Cheating and Cheers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DERBY MATCH.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit an update! I've just been having the most intense writing block for this chapter, and I burst through it tonight like the Kool-Aid man. 
> 
> Just a warning, that M will probably be giving way to an E rating soon, in case that sort of thing isn't your jam. (Yes, that was a derby joke, you'll understand when you read this chapter.
> 
> Anyway, all errors in derby rules are mine. Please assume that the rules are slightly different in Thedas, not that your fair author doesn't know wtf she's talking about. Also I apologize for the football references, I can't help it, I'm American.

Dust was putting the last touches on her “warpaint” in the locker room when Harding bounced up to her with a grin, Chucks squeaking on the concrete floor. Harding, like Dust, had already been attacked with the body glitter that Sera insisted on slathering them with on the principle that the shiny bits would make them harder to block. Dust had given up trying to unravel that particular bit of Sera logic, but she didn’t bother arguing. Every team had their little traditions, and there were way worse things than glitter.

“Krem texted me.” Harding announced brightly. “Cullen and his sister are here, and Cullen apparently went ape shit at the merch booth.”

“He’s such a nerd.” Dust said with a rueful laugh. She could have given him free swag if he had told her he wanted some. Well at least the money would go to a good cause.

“You like it.” Harding teased, giving her a light hip check.

“Maybe.” She replied with a grin, finishing up smudging the black eye make up she had spread across her eyes and temples like a mask, filling in her white brows with black brow powder. She licked her teeth to get rid of any stray bits of lipstick then stuck her pointer finger in her mouth pursing her lips and pulling it out again slowly to get rid of any excess color. Kat Von D’s Liquid Lipstick was a blessing from the Creators, and no one would tell her otherwise.

“You guys coming over for dinner next weekend?” Harding asked when Dust was done.

“Depends, Krem might need to turn the heat down on his cooking or else Cullen will spend the whole night crying.” Harding laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll share my Harding level food with him. And I’m making pie for dessert.”

“Fucking  _sold!_ ” Dust said with a grin. Harding’s pies were legendary. “I’m gonna go say hi to Cullen and Mia before the Harpies’ match, you coming?”

“Is this the first time Cullen’s seeing you in your kit?” Harding asked, smile sly.

“Yeah.” She grinned.

“Then I’m definitely coming.”

They made their way out of the locker room which was being guarded by Ashaad to keep anyone in the crowd from getting too enthusiastic. She grinned at the big Tal-Vashoth, holding out her hand for a high five, which he returned gently and with the tiniest hint of a smile before going back to his resting bitch face.

“I assume Seamus is reffing tonight?” She asked him. He simply nodded, crossing his incredibly well muscled arms over his chest. That was good - Seamus was honest to a fault, and took no shit from anyone. Even Flora Harimann would have to listen to him, what with him being the Viscount’s son.  _Snotty little brown noser._

“I have been informed that you have acquired a new... paramour.” Ashaad said quietly, looking at her from the corner of his eye. Dust groaned, and she could hear Harding trying to stifle a giggle.

“I’d ask how you even know, but honestly I might has well have just rented a jumbotron once I told the team.”

“I am not sure that would have been as effective.” He said, that tiny smile peeking out again.

“Speaking of my  _paramour_ ,” she said, making air quotes around the ridiculous word. “I’m going to go make out with him before the first match starts. Thanks for playing guard.” Ashaad nodded and she and Harding both waved as they made their way into the crowd. Once people noticed the bright pink Purritos jerseys they started to point and wave, throwing up an occasional hand for a high five. The commotion at least had the advantage of helping to part the crowd. People were pumped, she was glad for the energy. They finally approached the edge of the track, heading toward the far bleachers where the Chargers normally camped en masse. There were a few random cheers and shouts as they passed, both of them waving in response.

As they reached the end of the set of bleachers their friends were sitting in, Dust caught sight of the lot of them and smiled. Bull, Dorian, and Mia were laughing and chatting with the Chargers, while Cullen sat between Delrin and Krem who were gesturing at the track, probably trying to explain the scoring. The three of them were in the front row, making an incredibly pretty picture and she stopped to admire them with a sigh.

“Damn, I should have brought my phone, because that is one pretty, pretty picture.” Dust said as Harding stopped beside her.

“No kidding - we should get Bull to take one.” They were both still admiring the boys when Krem caught sight of them and his face lit up. He smacked Cullen on the shoulder to get his attention and gestured with his chin in their direction. Cullen turned to look and his brown eyes went wide, and Dust caught his lips forming words that looked a lot like “holy shit.” She winked at him, grinning. Dust didn’t think she was particularly vain - she knew she was attractive, but not everyone’s cup of tea. Deep down she could admit that seeing her boyfriend go wide eyed and blush beet red when he caught sight of her was not an experience she objected to in the least.

“Hey guys!” Harding called. They snaked past the “fence” that bordered the bleachers, nodding to random fans as they passed. The Chargers caught sight of them finally, and began cheering noisily. Mia shrieked happily and started making her way down the bleachers, people parting for her as if by magic so she could make her way to the floor. She had obviously either been to the merch booth or gotten something from Cullen, because she was wearing a pink tank top with the Purritos mascot, Churro on it. She practically launched herself from the bench to grab Dust in an enthusiastic hug that actually pulled her briefly off the ground. She was laughing breathlessly by the time Mia put her down.

“Maker you look so perfect! Look at you!” Mia held her at arm’s length to examine her, manicured hands resting on her shoulders.

“Mia, you’re gonna be covered in glitter!” Dust protested with a laugh.

“Girl I work at an elementary school, we go through more glitter than a strip club.” She let go with a huge smile and a little wink, flashing a look at Cullen, who was still bright pink and staring.

“Hey Noodle.” Dust said, grinning. “ _Please_  tell me Krem isn’t trying to explain scoring to you, he still doesn’t understand it himself.”

“Hey!” Krem protested, glaring around Harding, who was perched in his lap.

“Aw, sweetie it’s kind of true, you’re not great at explaining.” Harding smiled and gave Krem a kiss to lessen the blow.

“Don’t worry Dust, I’ll explain it.” Delrin said with a grin, perfect white teeth flashing. Cullen hadn’t said a word, so she stepped into his space, nudging his knees open so she could stand between them.

“Cat got your tongue?” She asked him with a cheeky smile.

“You could say that.” He said, voice low, a hint of that little smirk she liked on his mouth. With a laugh she bent down and kissed him, hands sliding into his hair - she was getting very fond of burying her fingers in his curls. Cullen placed his hands on her hips, gently squeezing and kissed back enthusiastically, tasting of beer and something sweet. She heard laughing, and then cheering from the Chargers, but she ignored it to keep kissing him until he made a soft little sound below her and she could feel his fingers tighten on her hips. With a smug smile she pulled back, and then took an exaggerated bow for the still cheering Chargers.

“Would you two  _please_ just have sex already?” Dorian called to her in exasperation. She saw Cullen go bright red and she laughed and flipped Dorian off.

“Not everyone has to pop off early Dorian.” She responded with a vicious grin. Bull roared with laughter, earning him a none too gentle punch in the arm from his boyfriend, which scored Dorian a messy kiss on the cheek in retaliation.

“Anyway, now that I’ve had my good luck kiss I’m gonna go get ready to kick Starkhaven’s ass.” She grinned down at Harding, who was kissing Krem with a lot less fanfare. “You coming Harding?”

The redhead popped off Krem’s lap with a grin and a wiggle that had him looking a little cross eyed. “Yup!”

“Have fun kids!” Dust said, waving goodbye. She and Harding left to the sound of the Chargers still cheering.

* * *

It turned out there were two matches or “bouts,” as Cullen learned they were called, taking place that night. The Hightown Harpies were taking on the Starkhaven Sirens first, followed by Los Purritos Calientes taking on the Vael Vixens. Apparently the Vixens were Starkhaven’s strongest and oldest team, and the Purritos were currently the strongest of the Kirkwall teams, despite being the newest. The Vixens and Purritos had already built up quite a rivalry, according to Del.

“So uh… you should probably be prepared man, it gets pretty physical when teams go at it.” Delrin said, giving him a slightly concerned look.

“That’s his polite way of saying brace for your girlfriend to potentially get pile driven pretty hard.” Krem added dryly. “She’s the most dangerous jammer on the team and the captain of the Vixens hates her like Dorian hates plaidweave.” Krem was sipping a beer watching where Harding and the other Purritos were exchanging high fives and hugs with the Harpies.

“What? Why? Why does she hate Dust?” Cullen asked, startled. How could anyone hate Dust? Dust was wonderful… and hot. His lips were still tingling pleasantly from her enthusiastic kiss. He was just tipsy enough that even the cheering had seemed appropriate instead of embarrassing.

“Well Dust’s definitely a better skater than her, and second…” Del trailed off, mouth going a bit tight around the edges. Cullen recognized the look - it was Del’s “I really don’t like this person but I’m too well bred to be rude about them behind their back” face.

“Second, Flora Harimann is a stuck-up bitch, and Dust knocked out one of her teeth once.” Krem grinned. “It was fucking glorious.”

“Wait, really? How did that happen?” Not that Cullen doubted Dust could do it. The way her muscles shifted when she walked or flexed her arms was  _splendid_.

“Flora fouled her, a nasty hit to the shin, and when Dust fell she “accidentally”-” Krem made air quotes, swinging his plastic beer cup precariously. “-managed to kick her in the face with her skate.”

“Krem, there’s no  _way_ that was on purpose.” Del retorted, rolling his eyes.

“Oh it most certainly  _was_.” Dorian added from behind them. He had gotten bored talking to the Chargers and was leaning against Bull playing a game on his cell phone. Apparently whatever he was doing wasn’t as engrossing as remembered girl on girl violence.

“Eh… don’t know for sure, but it wouldn’t surprise me.” Bull interjected. “I know for sure she  _could_ though. Dust is amazingly agile, you’ll see tonight, kid.” Bull took a pull of his own beer, absentmindedly stroking Dorian’s arm. “She kind of did a forward somersault and Flora got too close, then BAM, skate to the face! Dust hates cheating, and she said Flora was talking shit about Ink. She’s lucky Dust got to her before Sera did,  _that_ would have really been ugly.”

“No kidding.” Cullen said with a shudder. Inkuudi was a sweetheart - seven feet of friendly energy and cheer. Sera on the other hand was small, terrifying, and confusing. And then there was Yenaan, Ink’s mom. Cullen shuddered - Yen was really nice, he liked her a lot and there was probably no one he was more terrified of. Come to think of it Yenaan and Mia would get along swimmingly.

“I still say it was on purpose,” Krem said, “but the point is, Flora was fucking livid. She’s  _still_ not over it, and the Vixens have sort of a bad rep. They aren’t even super popular with the other Starkhaven teams, and the Kirkwall crowd loves it when they get taken down a peg. So yeah, it’s gonna be wild for sure.”

“Are the Vixens any good, or is it gonna just be a slaughter?” Cullen had no problem at all believing that the Purritos were going to win, the question was how badly they were going to destroy the Vixens.

“Actually they’re  _very_ good.” Del said, honest as usual. “The Purritos are really strong, but it’s probably going to be a close match. Flora might be awful, but she’s a good jammer, and she’s put together a strong team.”

“Fuck that Del, the Purritos are going to take them down!” Krem said loudly, to the delight of the Chargers.

Cullen let the debate wash over him, watching Dust and sipping absently at his second beer. He liked seeing her like this, in her element. It was different from the quiet concentration of Tattoo Artist Dust. Roller Derby Dust was all movement and energy, gestures large and showy, the dark red lips, heavy black makeup, and glitter made her look like something from a wild sci-fi film, The Fifth Element met roller derby perhaps. He grinned at the idea.

He was still happily watching Dust talk to her teammates and fans when the first bout started. The Harpies/Sirens match was interesting - Cullen generally had no idea what the Void was going on, but it moved fast, and he enjoyed sports in general even if he didn’t understand them. There was something viscerally satisfying about watching athletes perform and put their bodies to the test. He cheered when the others cheered, nodded when Del yelled information in his ear, and didn’t worry too much about anything, which was nice.

After the first half of the bout, patterns started to emerge for him, and he learned to keep his eyes on the jammers with their star marked helmets as they maneuvered through the “pack.” He started to translate the activity into football in his head, his favorite way to break down any new sport. Each “jam” was basically a down - only instead of gaining yards the skaters were gaining laps. He was pretty proud of himself for making the connection. The jammers were kind of quarterbacks, both playing offense. The blockers concentrated on stopping each other and also the other team’s jammer. The whole thing was incredibly physical, and he couldn’t deny, pretty hot. Contact from head, hands, elbows, and feet were all prohibited, as were hits above the neck and below mid thigh. There were at least two pile ups where everyone ended up sprawled across the track, but everyone brushed themselves off and recovered.

Contact got really interesting when there were kossith playing against pretty much anyone, but especially dwarves. The Kirkwall teams had more kossith than the Starkhaven teams, which wasn’t really a huge surprise - Starkhaven was a pretty human centric city, part of why they had always been at odds with the much more diverse Kirkwall. As the teams traded out players for each five person group per jam, the captains seemed to concentrate closely on trying to balance out the sizes of the different players. Jammers came in every shape, size, and race, each one with different weaknesses and strengths for getting through the pack.

In the end the Sirens were victorious, which was sad, but the crowd stayed respectful. As far as Cullen could tell it had been a pretty good match, the scoring was close, and there weren’t that many trips to the penalty box. The teams lined up to shake hands, high five, or even give a sweaty hug or two. The Purritos disappeared shortly after the match finished up, and Mia was part of the group sent to retrieve beer for everyone, lead by Bull, who managed to make a kind of wedge in the crowd for them to follow. Cullen stayed behind, slinging an arm over Dorian’s shoulder and leaning down to watch whatever game Dorian was playing on his phone - it seemed to involve fighting dragons with various people wearing Dragon Age style armor. Dorian smiled indulgently at him, but firmly swatted his hand away when he tried to help.

It took nearly the entire thirty minute half time for the others to get the beer and get back to the Chargers sitting area. The excitement was obviously growing, along with the noise, and Cullen was glad to stick to the comfortable little area the Chargers had staked out. There were more people around them, but anyone trying to take one of their seats got a death glare from Skinner that scared all of them off. Cullen had never felt so oddly relaxed in a crowd this huge, but between his meds, the beer, the high of being invited to be Delrin’s best man, and his anticipation of seeing Dust and her team in action, not even the intense press of people outside their area was bothering him.

When the others returned and the beer was distributed to the correct parties, he started to cede his place to Bull, but his roommate just sat down on the other side of him from Dorian with a grin. Bull rested his arm across Cullen’s shoulders, and it was so long he still had plenty of reach to curve his fingers around the back of Dorian’s neck, gently stroking. It should probably have felt awkward, but for some reason it didn’t. He sipped his beer, still making idle suggestions to Dorian on his game, which the other man ignored. Mia stole Cullen’s place between Krem and Delrin, looking completely pleased with herself, insisting that the two men pose for a selfie with her.

Before Mia could insist Cullen to the same, the lights flashed and music started playing as the announcer introduced the Vael Vixens, calling out their numbers and names.

“Which one is the one who doesn’t like Dust?” Cullen shouted to Bull.

“Flora Harimman - number 14, Lady Killer.” Bull gestured with the hand he had his beer in and Cullen focused on the curvy human woman standing out from her fellow team mates, their dark purple and gold uniforms contrasting with her pale skin. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a low ponytail and she was holding her starred helmet under one arm. Even from a distance Cullen felt like her expression was condescending.

Once the Vixens were all introduced to moderate applause the crowd seemed to go quiet. Then  Beyonce’s “Run the World” began to play and the crowd  _lost_ it. The Purritos were announced, Ink coming out first, horns actually sparkling with glitter, making him laugh. He wasn’t even sure when it happened, but he was standing and cheering, thankfully managing to hold onto his beer in the process. Even Dorian was off his seat clapping enthusiastically.

“... and last but not least, number 6,  _Gravedust_!”

Dust glided out to join her teammates with a wide grin, flashing her middle fingers at the crowd, just like she did in her poster, then double slapping her hips in a gesture that seemed to excite the crowd even more. Cullen felt as if his stomach were doing gymnastics, he was so full of excitement. He shouted until he ran out of air and his throat felt dry. None of them bothered sitting back down as the captains shook hands (Ink with a friendly grin, Flora with a sneer) and the five starters peeled off to take their places on their various starting marks. Unsurprisingly Flora and Dust were the two jammers, and Cullen couldn’t take his eyes off of his girlfriend. She said something to Flora with a nod, and the other woman scowled fiercely.

The whistle blew and the first jam started. Somewhat to Cullen’s surprise, Flora was right off the mark, but Dust held back for a second or two. When she did start, she took off like a shot, her long white hair trailing behind her like a shooting star. The blockers seemed locked tight with each other, but the Vixens were definitely at a disadvantage with Ink, Shokrakar, Harding, and a dark skinned human woman that Cullen didn’t recognize to contend with. Flora caught up with the pack and made a daring push for an opening that her team had managed to squeak open, but she lost time wiggling through. Dust on the other hand came barreling up to the pack on the right side while the Vixen blockers were distracted, and as if by some psychic connection grabbed Shokrakar’s outstretched hand. The next thing he knew Dust squeezed past the pack, propelled by her own momentum and the strength of Shokrakar’s arm, shooting forward and past Flora with a fierce, teeth baring grin.

After that it was a blur of screaming and clapping as he followed the pink star on Dust’s helmet as she made her way around the track, Flora on her heels whenever she could catch up. Dust and her teammates worked like a fine tuned machine, spaces appearing out of nowhere for her to slip through as she approached them. The Vixen blockers were obviously outmatched by the Purritos, and Cullen grinned with delight when Ink casually hip checked one of the blockers right out of bounds, making Sera shriek from the sidelines. When Dust actually managed to lap Flora she made that double slapping motion on her hips and let her head fall back in an exhilarated laugh that made all the blood in Cullen’s body try to head south, leaving him light headed and grinning like mad.

Things got trickier after that. The Vixens were good, and Shok and Ink needed breaks, which opened the defense up a bit. The scores stayed close as the various configurations of five switched in and out. At some point he managed to move down to join Mia, Del, and Krem in the front row, still screaming his head off. Mia grabbed his hand with excitement every time Dust took the track until his knuckles felt strained, but he didn’t care. After the first few jams, Nirah took Dust’s place as jammer, competing against another jammer from the Vixens. Nirah was taller than Dust, but more slender - not quite as fast but slippery as an eel when she slipped through the blockers.

By the second half adrenaline had burnt off his mild inebriation and he was really able to focus on the mechanics of the game, and the two teams. He might not know roller derby, but Cullen knew sports, and athletes, and he was noticing the differences in the teams. First, the Purritos had a deeper bench than the Vixens. Sure, the Purritos had a few really stand out players (Ink and Shokrakar were pure terror, Harding was a ringer if he’d ever seen one, and even with his own biases he recognized that Dust was something special), but the rest of the team wasn’t far behind, and it made a difference. The Starkhaven team had a couple exceptional players, including Flora Harimann, but the rest were significantly weaker than even the Purritos in general. Second, the Purritos seemed to have trained themselves for endurance, and it was showing. The Vixens were beginning to wilt by the beginning of the second half, and he could tell that Flora lead more by abuse than encouragement.

Ink on the other hand was like a ray of sunshine, bouncing between her teammates, distributing high fives and sweaty hugs, always yelling encouragement and checking for injuries after any nasty blocks. For the first ten minutes of the second half Dust stayed on the sidelines cheering for Nirah and the other jammer whose name he never caught. When Ink sent her back in she seemed like the first half had been a nice warm up and she was now ready to down to serious business. The score began to shift, the Vixens fifteen points behind, then twenty. The jams got more vicious, and he could see where the Vixens got their nasty reputation. With about fifteen minutes left they were getting more and more sloppy, and several of their blockers ended up in the penalty box.

By the time they reached the last ten minutes of the match, it seemed as if Flora had decided the only way to win was to start taking the Purritos’ star players out. First there was a pile up that suspiciously managed to take Shokrakar down under all four of the Vixen blockers on the track, leaving her with a nasty split lip and what seemed like an injury to her knee. Luckily the maneuver did little to change the outcome of the jam, as Dust just slid past the pile up, leaving Flora in her metaphorical dust. The booing from the crowd as Ink helped Shokrakar off the track had an angry undertone to it that Cullen hoped wouldn’t turn nasty. Shok took the bench with a scowl, pads removed and replaced with an ice pack, but still managed to wave to the fans to indicate she was ok.

Next Harding took an elbow to the face and went down hard. Bull had to physically restrain Krem from going down to the track, and the smaller man was swearing viciously in Tevene. Sera, wearing her striped pivot’s helmet reacted about as well as Krem, but no one managed to keep her back. She launched herself at the offending Vixen and took her down, small fista flying, shrieking audible even over the wild cheering of the crowd. Ink called a timeout as they pulled the two women apart, Dust helping a dazed Harding off the track. Once the redhead reached the sidelines she gave a double thumbs up in the general direction of the Chargers’ area, and Krem calmed down a bit. Mia slung her arm around his shoulder and Cullen wasn’t sure what she said, but it managed to squeeze a smile out of the young ‘Vint.

With Sera in the penalty box (and a huge Qunari he didn’t recognize standing between her and the nervous looking Vixen), the team did a bit of rearranging. Nirah went in as jammer, and to his surprise Sera handed over her striped helmet cover to Dust which made the crowd go absolutely insane. Even the Chargers started screaming. Cullen turned to Delrin, confused. He pulled his friend close so he had a chance of being heard.

“What’s going on?” He yelled. Delrin turned to him with a wide eyed grin, moving his mouth right up against Cullen’s ear to be heard.

“Dust was a blocker back in the day when she first started playing. That’s where the name Gravedust comes from, she was deadly! The season she played blocker had the most injuries on record for the league. Ink took pity on everyone and switched her to jammer. Flora shouldn’t have had her team play so dirty!”

Cullen’s stomach fluttered with nerves and excitement. Dust pulled off the star cover from her helmet and replaced it with the striped cover of the pivot position. She raised her arms, middle fingers up, grinning like mad as the crowd screamed. From what he understood the pivot played as a blocker unless the jammer managed to do a fancy maneuver where she handed off her helmet cover to the pivot. When she and the others took their places in front of Nirah and Flora, he couldn’t take her eyes off of her. Delrin grabbed his arm and squeezed, and Cullen noticed he looked a little nervous. Cullen couldn’t blame him, Flora looked pissed and something told him Nirah was going to have her work cut out for her. Dust, apparently not the least intimidated turned and blew a kiss to Flora with a wink before turning back to shift into her starting position, leaving the human woman scowling.

The whistle sounded and both jammers got stuck behind the pack with no way to get past, the whole group moving in one multi-limbed mass. Dust looked small next to Ink, but didn’t seem to be having any trouble keeping up with the others. One minute passed without a point scored, and then something happened that Cullen didn’t really understand. Dust shoved out from the pack, leaving an opening for Nirah to slip through, Dust staying about ten feet in front of rest of the blockers as Nirah gained momentum. Flora managed to get past the remaining Purritos with a lucky hip check to the blond haired human who had joined Ink, Dust, and the same dark skinned human who had skated the first match as blockers.

Now all Flora had to do was get past Dust in order to catch up to, and possibly pass, Nirah. Flora had a good four or five inches on Dust height wise, and was proportionally larger. He couldn’t see their expressions from where he was, but his stomach clenched as he saw the Starkhaven skater head straight for Dust with a determination that looked anything but friendly. He didn’t remember biting his lip but he could feel his teeth digging into his flesh, and Mia’s hand was back in his, squeezing hard as Del squeezed his bicep on the other side.

Time seemed to slow down as Flora drew closer to Dust and his heart was beating so fast that the sound of it was competing with the deafening roar of the crowd. He saw the exact moment when Flora shifted, obviously intending to go crashing into Dust, and his heart seemed to lodge in his throat, images of Dust crumpled on the track flashing in his head.. But both he and Flora Harriman had seriously underestimated Gorgeous “Gravedust” Lavellan though - one moment it looked like Flora was going to take his girlfriend out and the next Flora was sailing over Dust’s back to slam so hard into the track that bounced before rolling right out of bounds to lay in an undignified pile on the ground.

The crowd had already been loud, but after that the sound was like a physical force, slamming into him and he felt his own throat aching from how hard he was screaming in delight. He ended up in a laughing, shrieking group hug with Del, Mia, and Krem, the Chargers and Dorian all pressing close. The refs ended the jam to check on Flora, who was surrounded by her team, still sprawled on the floor. The Purritos headed back to their bench, and Inkuudi, ever the consummate sportswoman kept them from celebrating too much, silencing Sera’s excited shout with a firm kiss that delighted the spectators.

They took Flora off the track on a stretcher, one of her teammates skating along dejectedly beside her. After that the match was the slaughter that he had speculated on before, the Purritos managing to get another fifteen points as the Vixen blockers did their best to avoid getting anywhere near Dust. When the final whistle blew, the Vixens looked like they wanted nothing more than to slink away and lick their wounds, but the Purritos, gracious in victory, shook hands, patted them on the back, and even gave a hug or two to the other team.

Once the Vixens were off the track though, the Purritos were all cheering and hugging, obviously delighted with their win. Cullen found himself swept along with the Chargers onto the track along with some other members of the audience who were friends and loved ones of the other team. Bull’s rack was like a guiding beacon as they headed to the center of the track where the Purritos had Nirah and Dust hoisted up on their shoulders, cheering and exchanging high fives. Both women had removed their jerseys, wearing nothing but black sports bras with their numbers on them in bright pink glitter, skin shimmering with sweat and yet more glitter. He had no idea why they were shedding clothes, and he didn’t care, he just wanted Dust down on the ground, preferably wrapped around him like rashvine.

To his delight, she caught sight of him from her vantage point and grinned, throwing her jersey at him with impressive accuracy. The sweaty, balled up fabric slapped into his chest with a thwap that made him laugh. It should have been gross, and it was, but also weirdly sexy. She quickly managed to get down and push through the crowd, who laughed and got out of her way, cheering as she made a bee-line for him.

Next thing he knew he got exactly what he had wished for as Dust jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, strong arms wrapping around his neck and skate wheels knocking into the back of his legs. He let out a surprised noise and staggered under her not at  _all_ inconsiderable weight, but recovered as her lips came down on his, his hands clutching tight at her sweaty thighs, laughter chased from his mouth by her tongue. The kiss was hot, wet, messy, and tasted of sweat, and made his heart beat almost as fast as watching her skate. She pulled back with a wild laugh, and threw her head back, arms up in the air and middle fingers extended as she screamed loudly with triumph, obviously convinced he would stay steady for her. Much to Cullen’s delight, he did exactly that.


	15. Love and Layovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mia heads back to Ferelden and we very briefly get to meet Cullen's mom... kind of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, long time no see! This feels a bit filler-y, but trust me the Big Night is coming soon. (AKA, there will be smut.)
> 
> Also, I commissioned art of Dust in her derby gear! You can see it [here!](http://cassandrashipsit.tumblr.com/post/137118900442/cassandrashipsit-steps-briefly-out-of-the)

The next afternoon Cullen discovered that, sadly, the airport wasn’t made any more amusing or tolerable while nursing the lingering remains of a nasty hangover. He thanked the Maker and Andraste both that Mia’s flight was in the afternoon. Ironically, while he had been so anxious and full of dread about Mia’s visit, he was now suffering a wave of desperate sadness that his sister was leaving again. He was going to miss her terribly.

They were walking toward her gate, silent for once, holding hands as they walked. Cullen had her overnight bag slung over his shoulder, no doubt full of random souvenirs for his niece and nephews. He realized with a pang that the last time he had seen his nephews they hadn’t even been walking yet. Mia sent him pictures regularly enough, usually of the twins being a bit ridiculous while their older sister looked on in disgust, but it wasn’t the same as seeing them in person. They were almost four now.

“I need to go home for a visit, see the rest of the family.” He said suddenly, surprising himself.

Mia glanced at him, eyebrows raised.

“Well I’m hardly going to argue with that, since I’ve been saying the same thing for years, but what brought that on?”

“I miss you all.” He said, trying not to be embarrassed. There was nothing wrong with missing the people he loved. Mia stopped so abruptly he almost tripped before he caught himself, and then he was pulled into a tight, fierce hug.

“You little nerd. I miss you too, and so does everyone else. We’d love if you came home for a visit. Mom and dad miss you but they’ll never put pressure on you to come visit, and they won’t come here unless you invite them.” Cullen hugged her back, just as tight.

“I know, I’m sorry, I just…” He trailed off because what could he say? “I’ve just been crazy and traumatized and haven’t wanted to inflict all my fears and social failings on my family.” Or perhaps “my friends are all so strange that I don’t stick out the way I would at home”? And of course “I’m neurotic and overweight instead of confident and perfect with a six pack and don’t want to have to face everyone who knew me in high school”? All of it was true, but it didn’t make it easy to admit, or assuage the guilt he felt over such ideas interfering with spending time with people he loved.

Mia pulled back, hands still tight on his shoulders, ignoring everyone and everything around them. She looked in his eyes, serious and intense and it was hard not to squirm.

“You don’t have to apologize. We love you. We all know you’ve gone through a lot, and you've been working on getting your business up and running and your feet under you. It isn’t wrong to take the time you need for yourself Cullen. I urge you to come visit because I think you’ll realize that no one is going to blame you for not being the same arrogant little tit you were in high school.” She grinned at him to soften the words, but really it wasn’t necessary. He’d been kind of a dick in high school and right up through college, until the accident. He wasn’t sure what he was anymore, but hopefully a bit less of an asshole.

“I’ll… maybe for Harvestfall I can come visit.” He said cautiously. “Maybe Dust will want to come with me.”

That earned him another fierce hug, complete with back patting.

“I am so proud of you Cullen.” Mia said, voice slightly muffled in his shoulder. “You are doing so well, it’s so good to see.”

He couldn’t quite bring himself to say anything, just held on tight, eyes prickling suspiciously. Eventually, after a few swallows he was together enough to take a deep breath and let go.

“OK, that’s probably enough filial emotion for an airport hallway, especially with a hangover.” His voice was a little hoarse thanks to the ball of mixed emotions resting firmly in his throat, but Mia just laughed and let go, taking his hand again.

“I think your girlfriend’s liver is made of cast iron, by the way. She sent me a text at 10 am to say goodbye since she’d be in the middle of tattooing someone when I left.”

“Yeah… trying to match her shot for shot was a mistake and I should have known better. I got a bit carried away.” He _had_ known better, but when Dust and Nirah had insisted that he join them for shots, he’d had some kind of weird tipsy need to prove his honor via tequila. His memories after that got rather hazy, but he was fairly certain he’d mostly proven that when drunk he would get very handsy with his girlfriend in an empty booth while she whispered things in Antivan in his ear. He could feel his cheeks heating just at the memory, and he was deeply glad he hadn’t the slightest clue what she’d been saying. Well… there had been clues, but mostly non verbal ones.

“It was pretty fun to watch. You really are terrible at darts though, you should practice.” Her tone was scornful. Like everything else Mia was excellent at bar games, darts and pool alike.

“I was drunk!” He said defensively.

“You were _terrible_. Dust carried you.” Just because it was completely true didn’t mean she had to point it out. Sera and Dust played darts with a precision that was actually a little disturbing. And they did it while drinking. He didn’t want to imagine the havoc they could cause while sober.

“Oh come on, it’s not like Ink was any better.” Sera and Ink had eventually won, but not through any help on Inkuudi’s part.

“ _She_ at least managed not to hit any actual people Cully.” Thankfully Sera’s father Thom was a very tolerant man, and also built like a brick shithouse. He had simply laughed heartily when Cullen’s dart had collided with his massive chest, then tossed the dart back to his daughter.

“Thom was too close! He shouldn't have been standing so near the board!”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Mia replied smugly. It was time to stop arguing, she was just going to keep egging him on, and he didn’t want his last memory of her visit to be exasperation, no matter how appropriate it was. By the time they made it to the gate, comfortable silence had returned, and they found seats to wait in until boarding was called. Mia was, of course, flying first class, so she’d be one of the first on.

“So… am I allowed to tell mom about Dust?” Mia’s tone was almost casual, but there was no hiding that hint of eagerness.

“No, you are not.” He told her sternly. That was another thing he needed to ask Dust about. He hadn’t missed her discomfort at the Viscout when Mia had mentioned talking to their mother about his relationship. “I will tell her myself. And don’t you dare give hints, I’ll have her sending me fifteen text messages a day, and she texts like a fuckboy, it’s disturbing.”

Mia laughed so hard that they got a few strange looks, making Cullen grin almost involuntarily.

“I didn’t even know you knew that word! You know I’m telling her you said that.”

“Fine, enjoy explaining it to her. Maybe she’ll learn to text in complete words and sentences if you do.”

“You are _such_ a nerd. Also you should probably just accept that’s never happening.”

“I know.” He grumbled. “Anyway, I’ll tell mom about Dust, but not yet. We _just_ started dating Mimi. Give me a while to make sure I don’t screw it all up, ok?” His head suddenly started throbbing again at the all too real possibility that he was going to destroy one of the best things he’d found in a long time because of something stupid. He took a deep breath, trying to fend off incipient panic.

“Oh Culls.” She said sadly. To her credit she sounded sympathetic rather than exasperated, which was a relief. “You know, it’s been awhile since your last relationship. I think you’ve grown a lot since then. You and Raleigh were just in really different places in your recovery. And I don’t think Dust is the easily discouraged type. I… get the feeling she probably hasn’t had the easiest life herself.”

There was something in her tone that made Cullen look at her more sharply. Mia had a way of reading people that was as disconcertingly accurate as Bull sometimes. He probably shouldn’t be surprised considering her multiple degrees in getting into people's’ heads. It made him wonder what clues he had missed about Dust, which made him feel like an ass.

“Just stop,” Mia ordered firmly. “I can see you doing that thing where you blame yourself for not noticing things that you have no experience with. I work with more elves in a week than you’ve met your entire life, I see what they go through first hand and I _still_ make stupid assumptions and mistakes all the time. Just be honest with her, give her a chance to accept all of you. I know it’s scary but don’t make up her mind for her, and don’t preemptively pour everything down the drain because you’re afraid it might happen.”

“Yeah, that’s all a lot easier said than done Mia.” He responded, more frustrated than he probably should be.

“Hey, at absolutely no point did I say it would be easy little brother, but I know you can do it. Do or do not, there is no try.” She pointed an admonishing finger at him, looking smug.

“You just quoted Yoda at me about my love life.” Cullen said incredulously.

“Sometimes you just have to go with the old masters.” She said with a shrug.

“I hate you, and yet as your brother I have never been more proud.”

Before she could reply with a clever rejoinder, which he was sure she would, one of the gate attendant’s came over the loudspeaker.

“Good afternoon and thank you for flying Air Gryphon flight 1855 to Redcliffe, Ferelden. At this time we’d like to invite our first class passengers and Warden’s Club Platinum members to board.”

Cullen felt an immediate pang of loss. He looked at Mia and she looked like she was feeling much the same, eyebrows drawn together, lower lip caught between her teeth.

“OK, let’s just do this like ripping of a bandaid. Hug me, say goodbye, and promise me you’ll come visit.” He stood to do as instructed, holding her tight.

“What happened to not pushing?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Oh do shut up Cully Wully. Just say yes and let me be happy.”

He pulled back, taking her hands and smiling down at her, though not far, even though for once she wasn’t wearing heels.

“I promise I’ll come visit, and if Dust is interested, I’ll bring her with me. Fair?”

It earned him a blinding smile and a kiss on the cheek - and then she licked her fingers to rub the remains of her lipgloss off of his face.

“By the Maker Mimi I am going to kill you if you don’t get on that plane. Adraste’s _tits_ woman I’m a grown man and that is disgusting!” He wiped at his cheek with the back of his hand as if it would help. Mia looked amused and mildly repentant.

“It’s just spit you big baby, deal with it! Anyway, off I go!” She picked up her carry-on bag and her giant purse, gave him one last bright smile and turned toward the gate, giving a negligent wave his direction after she had her boarding pass inspected.

He already missed her.

* * *

Bull was nowhere to be found when Cullen got home, which was a bit of a relief. His head was still aching and he felt like he needed a little time to adjust to Mia being gone. He’d had more social activity in one week than he’d had in months, and it was exhausting. Still, the desire to be alone didn’t stop him from taking out his phone when Dust’s custom text sound chimed at him.

_Snow Fox: Mia get off ok? No delays?_

He smiled. It was a little unnerving to think about Dust and Mia being friends, but he liked that Dust was at least passingly interested in his family.

_Noodle: No airline would dare delay a flight her ladyship is on._

_Snow Fox: lol noted. Maybe I can convince her to travel with me next time I go to a tattoo convention. I got stuck in the airport in Minrathous for six hours once. People kept mistaking me for an employee._

He tried to imagine Dust as a neatly dressed gate attendant and his brain short circuited a bit. Especially considering how conservative Tevinter was supposed to be, he had trouble imagining the tattoos, piercings, ripped clothing and general attitude of no fucks given really going over well for a customer service employee.

_Noodle: How though? No offense but I’ve never seen an airport employee with tattoos and piercings all over, not to mention Dorian’s right, you dress like a hobo._

_Snow Fox: You are a jackass. Correct, but a jackass. But anyway I was actually dressed like a grown up for once. Trying to be on my best behavior._

Having seen how nicely she cleaned up when the urge struck her, it made a bit more sense, but in a gross sort of way that made him want to squirm on behalf of himself and humans everywhere.

_Snow Fox: Also elves in Tevinter = employees apparently, whether you’ve got on a uniform or a ₣300 leather jacket. I don’t think they see anything else once they catch sight of pointy ears._

_Snow Fox: I finally got pissed and opened some woman’s suitcase and dumped it all over the floor when she snapped at me to carry her shit. She had some REALLY nice sex toys. ;) Dorian might have had to make a couple calls._

_Oh Maker._ He was suddenly even more ashamed of himself for his assumptions about her, lies or no lies. He was amazed she had bothered giving him a second chance considering the shit she put up with. Even Dorian did better than he had and Dorian was from _Tevinter_.

_Noodle: Wow… Humans are fucking terrible._

_Snow Fox: Ha! Not arguing. Some humans are ok though. I know this cute blond guy who blushes a lot, I’ve decided to spare him when the revolution comes._

_Noodle: He’s just lucky you’re very tolerant and forgiving._

He needed to start doing some reading, find some blogs or something so he could avoid doing more typical human shit. He really didn’t want to be That Guy who thought just because his girlfriend had pointy ears, he knew everything there was to know about elves.

_Snow Fox: Ha! Have I ever got you fooled if you think that. You’re honestly just lucky you’re cute._

_Noodle: I’ll take it._

_Noodle: So assuming the revolution isn’t happening tomorrow, are we still on for dinner?_

_Snow Fox: Absolutely._

_Noodle: Good, I can’t wait. 7 pm right?_

_Snow Fox: Yup. Don’t be late!_

_Noodle: I won’t, I promise. See you then._

* * *

He was nodding off on the couch after dinner while watching a History Channel special on the Dragon Age Templars (yikes) when his phone buzzed again, this time with his mom’s special text sound. He gave a groan as he picked it up.

_Mom: whats a fuckboy?_

_Cullen: Oh sweet Maker I’m going to kill Mia. DO NOT go to Urban Dictionary again!_

_Mom: u tell me cullen im ur mum_

_Cullen: Ask your eldest child, I refuse._

_Mom: lol ur rude_

_Cullen: Good night mom. Tell everyone hello and give them my love._

He turned back to the TV, trying to concentrate, 8 pm was far too early to be falling asleep, previous night’s drunken shenanigans notwithstanding.

_Mom: Checked ud. Ur grounded._

_Cullen: Good NIGHT mom._

He brought up his text thread for Mia.

_Cully Wully: Glad you made it home ok, because I want your death to come at my hands. It will be ruled justifiable homicide._

_Mimi: Ha! That’s what you get for calling your own mother a fuckboy._

_Cully Wully: I did no such thing! I just said she texted like one._

_Mimi: Not true, she’s never asked you for nudes._

_Cully Wully: Maker’s breath, I’m going to be sick and I hate you._

_Mimi: Gonna go crash, talk to you soon little bro. We’ll make plans for Harvestfall._

Sometimes you chose your battles. Cullen chose to go to bed. Early hour be damned, he had plans for the next day, and he hoped he was going to need all the rest he could get.

 


	16. Secrets and Steak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Big Date! Dust and Cullen finally get some time alone.
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day to all of you, or Happy Beekeepers and Plague day if that's more your style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! We're entering the final countdown! This has been one hell of an adventure. There are four chapters left including this one and they're (almost) all written, and will be going up one chapter a week for the next month. :)
> 
> Also, because I started writing this TOTALLY ON THE FLY, with no internal consistency, I'll be going through and doing a bit of clean up to the original chapters so that when it's finished everything will (hopefully) be all internally correct. Thank you for coming along with me on this silly ride.
> 
> Anyway, as always when dealing with Cullen, please remember he's not a terribly reliable narrator when it comes to himself, so he may use terminology that is painful, heads up.

One of the only advantages Cullen had discovered to his anxiety was that it made him extremely punctual. Of course it did so by making him way too early, but at least he never showed up late. He arrived on Dust’s street at 6:37 pm, showered, shaved, and with his hair as tamed as he could get it without tactical application of hair gel, which Dust would just ruin anyway. He found a place to park, and then sat for eight minutes until he deemed himself early but not obnoxious. He made sure the cover was secure on his Jeep, though honestly her neighborhood was quite a bit nicer than his, and headed up the stairs to the door. He’d felt weird showing up without bringing anything, so he’d stopped by Blackwall’s earlier and begged some of Thom’s special brew raspberry cider, which Dust had mentioned liking at the victory party, _before_ all the tequila shots.

He rang the doorbell, fidgeting as he wondered if he was still too early. Would she be annoyed, was he over eager? What if- The door opened, startling him, and he found himself blinking at Dust, who was smiling warmly at him, which short circuited his thought process.

“Come on in. You have good timing, I just kicked Dorian out.” She stood up on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the mouth before stepping back and waving him inside. “Ooh, you shaved!”

“I thought you might enjoy the novelty. I also picked up some of Thom’s cider. I remembered you saying you liked it.” He smiled as he came inside, holding the six pack up so she could see it.

“The Ranier Raspberry? Awesome!” She grabbed the six pack from him. “Come to the kitchen, I need to start the steaks.”

She headed down the hallway and he trailed behind her with a smile. She was wearing a pair of cut off jean shorts and a white ribbed tank top. He could very faintly see the outline of her bra and her tattoos through the fabric. The line of her garter tattoos shifted distractingly with the play of muscles under her dark skin, and he had a delicious, if fuzzy, sense memory of his hands on the generous curves of her ass.

_And that’s enough Rutherford, you do not want to be sitting through dinner with a hard on._

Luckily at least the scents in the kitchen were distracting. There was something sweet cooking that he couldn’t quite identify, and what he was fairly sure was garlic, but other than that, it all just smelled _good_. There were two large steaks sitting on the counter in a shallow dish with some kind of marinade, and a couple of pots on the stove that seemed to be doing interesting things. Cullen’s cooking skills were minimal and mostly involved simple pastas, grilled cheese, and breakfast foods. Dust was obviously on an entirely different level. She popped the cider into the fridge, quickly stirred one of the pots, checked something on the display of the very fancy oven, and then turned back to him with a grin.

“OK good, I have a couple minutes to greet you properly now.” She sauntered across the kitchen toward him and he noticed she was wearing a pair of black socks printed with bright yellow roller skates.

“Love the socks.” He said with a grin of his own.

“Thank you.” She came to a stop in front of him, sliding her hands up over his pecs to his shoulders, then up into his tousled hair to pull him down to her in a motion that was becoming delightfully familiar. Her lips were so soft against his, warm and velvety. He pulled her close, enjoying the heat of her body pressed against his as her tongue darted out to flick against his closed mouth. He opened to her with a smile curving his lips. There was no hesitancy in the way Dust kissed him. She explored, but with purpose, tongue sliding along his, flicking against the top of his mouth, repeating anything that garnered an involuntary sound or a clenching of his hands against her waist. By the time she bit at his bottom lip he was breathing hard and his hands had slid down to cup the curve of her ass.

Dust’s lips left his, travelling along his jaw, down to his throat to take his skin between her teeth, just on the edge of too much. His breath huffed out, half gasp, half moan, his brain entirely giving up control to his body. Before he even knew what he was doing, he had her thighs gripped firmly in hand, lifting her up and turning to set her down on one of the stools around the kitchen island. She made a little noise of surprise, hands shifting out of his hair to clutch at his shoulders, her teeth releasing him for a moment until she was settled, and then she was sucking at the bite mark, her tongue lapping at it gently.

Cullen slid his hands up her thighs, reveling in the smooth, warm skin, over the line of her shorts and up under the hem of her tank top. When he began to slide his hands slowly up her sides under the fabric she stopped sucking at his neck, leaning into his touch and pressing her forehead against his shoulder. Slowly he kept moving, feeling the slight shift against his hands when she took a deep breath, until his thumbs found the solid edge of the bottom of her bra, noting the feel of lace against his thumbs. Still moving slowly, he ran his thumbs along the very bottom of each cup, enjoying the contrast of warm skin and rough fabric against the lower part of her breasts. She made a soft noise against him, her breath heating him through the fabric of his shirt, and he realized almost idly that he was rock hard and straining against the seam of his jeans.

Before he could do more than acknowledge the discomfort, a loud series of beeps began to sound, startling them both. Dust laughed and Cullen smiled ruefully, backing away to let her hop off the stool. As she dug through drawers and went to pull something out of the oven, he surreptitiously adjusted his jeans, trying to relieve some of the pressure.

“So… uh, what are we having for dinner? It smells amazing.” Dust set a tray of something he couldn’t quite see on a cooling rack, pulling off black oven mitts and then grabbing the steaks off the counter.

“Sort of modified Dalish food. Well… I guess technically it’s Lavellan food, not like the Dalish in general have a lot of traditional foods, other than most of us use halla milk for something at least. Anyway, my clan has a deal with some vendors who work at one of the farmer’s markets here, they send them wild druffalo at a huge markup to sell to all the shem foodies who are into the wild caught stuff.” She was fussing with the pots on the stove top, rearranging and changing temperatures. When she had adjusted things to her satisfaction, she used a pair of tongs to pull the steaks out of the marinade and lay them on a grill top on the stove, one that was blazing hot if the sizzle and smoke was any indication. The smell that hit his nose shortly after was amazing.

“I like to keep some on hand, I got used to eating it when I was living in our clan range, I don’t like the farm raised stuff as much. I fully approve not having to hunt for it myself though.”

Cullen’s brain, distracted by delicious scents, took a moment to fully process that.

“Wait… you’ve hunted _druffalo_?” He’d grown up on a farm, he was familiar with domesticated druffalo, and they were dangerous enough, just for their sheer size, it was hard to imagine hunting them.

“Eh, yeah, I’ve tagged along, I’m not great at it truth be told. I’m kind of squeamish about hunting in general, but it’s sort of a right of passage thing. Plus you might have figured out I’m kind of competitive. My cousins are both excellent hunters, so of _course_ I had to learn too.”

He was staring at her back as she worked. Dust could hunt druffalo. She had cousins. She could _hunt druffalo_.

“I don’t know a thing about you, do I?” He asked, feeling oddly somber about it. She shot a confused look over her shoulder, but quickly turned back to the stove.

“Come over here so I can look at you without burning these, they were expensive.”

He let out a little huff of a laugh as he walked over to the stove. He stood next to her, trying to make sure not to crowd her.

“What do you mean you don’t know anything about me?” Dust asked, glancing up at him, a line of worry between her brows. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, but she had all of her piercings in, a small crystal stud in her nostril, a pretty silver filagree hoop through her septum and another crystal stud above her lip. Silver hoops in graduated sizes marched up her ears, stopping about halfway up.

“It’s just… well I feel like such an ass, you’ve heard all about my family, and from the start I’ve just made assumptions about you. I didn’t even know you were Antivan until Merrill told me before our first date. I’ve been trying to read up on alienages, but I didn’t think to do any research on your clan.” His reading on alienages had been incredibly depressing, and he was certain reading about the history and current status of the Dalish wasn’t going to be any less so. “I’ve known you for months, but I know so little about you.”

She was staring down at the steaks as if they had offended her, lips pursed, brow furrowed. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but he also didn’t want to screw up any more than he had.

“You know, I knew Isabela for nearly three years before we started dating officially? I had sex with her before she knew my last name. We had a _threesome_ before she knew my last name.”

Cullen’s reactions were so mixed he decided to just keep his mouth shut entirely.

“And then it was two years before I told her my birth name.” She flipped the steaks and looked at him intently for a moment, like she was searching for an answer in his face. He was very confused, but again, he decided it was best to just listen. “Dust, is… well it’s my name, but it wasn’t the one I was born with, and it isn’t what my clan calls me. My mother was Dalish. She got tired of clan life and decided to run off to the cities. Happens a lot with young people, they think somehow going off and living with the shems will be easier than to follow the _vir_. She ended up in Antiva City married to my father, who grew up there in the alienage. Anyway, my birth name is Sanehn.”

It’s lovely, the way she says it. Sa-NEN, the first syllable almost a sigh, the second, harder syllable still soft somehow. He traced the word silently to himself, but had no idea what else to say. What exactly did you say when you found out your girlfriend’s name after you’d known her for months and been dating for a couple weeks? This time the urge to touch her was too strong, and he reached out to brush his fingers gently across her bare shoulder. She turned to flash a smile at him, cautious and a bit tight.

“Look, the point is I’m not big on sharing. My life’s been… complicated, and a lot of it hasn’t been fun. I don’t really like talking about myself. So there’s no reason for you to feel guilty because you don’t know every little detail of my life. I mean I don’t know yours either, I don’t even know how you and Del know each other, or how you got the scar on your lip. The whole point of this dating thing is to get to know each other, right?”

Dust looked worried, and a little lost, and he found that the urge to kiss away the little furrow between her white brows was impossible to resist. To his relief she sighed, and relaxed against him.

“Right, good point.” He said softly, running his hand up and down her back. “You’re right, and I’m looking forward to it. Sorry, I didn’t mean to let my human guilt make everything weird.”

She pulled back with a short laugh and gave him a small smile before turning back to the stovetop.

“OK, this is almost done, why don’t you grab us some cider. Or there’s some Fereldan beer in the fridge that Dorian will never admit is his. I figured we’d just eat at the island unless you feel fancy?”

“I think you have me confused with Dorian. I never feel fancy.” Cullen commented, heading to the fridge to grab two bottles of cider. He headed over to grab a seat at the kitchen island, which was decorated with a lovely white orchid in a clay pot. The island, with it’s butcherblock top and flower was a homey spot in the middle of sleek modernity. Everything else was all sleek stainless steel, black granite, and red tinged, dark wood cabinetry. The backsplash that ran along the entirety of the generous counter was some kind of deep slate grey, with bits of iridescent green and purple. His mother would have strangled someone to have a kitchen like it.

Popping the corks from the cider bottles, he watched Dust gracefully moving about, plating up two dishes with efficient movements. She fiddled with dials, moved the pots around, and then walked over to him carrying two black plates covered in generous portions of food. The only thing he really recognized on his plate was the steak, and even that was topped with some kind of sauce he didn’t recognize. There were some kind of little round yellow things, and some sliced white things with holes that looked like they’d been fried and seasoned. When she put the plates down she pulled two individual bowls of salad out of the fridge, already dressed and tossed.

“This is… honestly amazing. I have no idea what it is, but it’s amazing.” He said, staring at the food in front of him. Dust gave a laugh and shook her head.

“Grilled druffalo steaks - that’s a sauce made of bull grapes. I think Orlesians call them muscat? The yellow things are sweet corn cakes, and the white things are fried lotus root. The salad is salad.” Cullen rolled his eyes at her and she smiled teasingly. “Be nice, I’m trying to impress you.”

“I think you succeeded.” More than succeeded, she had him feeling a warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with his first few sips of Thom’s cider.

“Well, maybe taste it before you decide if you’re _really_ impressed.” This time her expression actually looked a bit bashful, and that definitely just made the warmth grow. Dust began to dig into her salad, rather pointedly not watching him. Cullen could admit the salad looked nice, but wild druffalo steak? There’s no way in the Void he wasn’t trying that first. Cutting off a neat bite, making sure to get a generous coating of the sauce, he popped a bit in his mouth. _Oh blessed Maker._

“Noodle… did you just moan?” He should probably have been embarrassed but he didn’t give a damn, the steak was amazing. Tender, juicy, and a perfect balance of savory and sweet. The sauce was just tart enough to keep from being cloying. He managed to chew and swallow without any further embarrassing noises, while Dust’s lips twitched.

“Definitely impressed.” Cullen grinned at her and Dust laughed, shaking her head.

“Eat your vegetables Noodle.”

* * *

On the list of “things Dust expected from her date with Cullen” telling him about her birth name and hinting vaguely at her shitty childhood while grilling druffalo steaks hadn’t even appeared, let alone been near the top. As if by some telepathic agreement they kept the conversation light over dinner, talking roller derby, dogs, and to Dust’s delight, the story of how Cullen’s mother learned what a fuckboy was. She nearly choked on a lotus root slice when Cullen showed her the text conversation, but it was worth it. Unfortunately the emptier their plates got, the more the underlying tension of that earlier conversation seemed to build in the air around them.

_Ugh, this is so fucking stupid. Rip the bandaid off Dust._

“So… wanna eat ice cream on the couch and talk about why we’re both tense as the Void?”

Cullen had been poking at the last remaining corn cake on his plate with the look of a man trying to decide if he could scale the last hundred feet of a mountain, but his head shot up at her comment. He blinked in surprise before his expression turned a bit rueful and he gave a small chuckle.

“Well, the ice cream and the couch sound appealing at least. I could probably deal with the tension if you agree to sit in my lap.” His voice was solemn but there was a little twinkle in his eye that made her smile.

“Great, I’ll get spoons. I got this weird limited edition Ben and Jerry’s, so it will either be delicious or the kind of weird where you can’t stop eating it. Both if we’re lucky.” She hopped off her stool to grab two spoons from the utensil drawer then crossed to the fridge.

“You know, you’re not exactly selling this.” He told her, looking slightly concerned.

“Pfft, just means more for me if you don’t like it.” She said, brandishing the pint of ice cream at him.

“What about the dishes?”

“Eh, just leave them for now, I’ll clean up later. The advantage of adulthood is you can have your dessert before anyone makes you do your chores.”

They settled comfortably on the couch, Dust sitting on Cullen’s lap with the armrest as a back support, and his arm around her waist, hand idly stroking her hip. Eventually they realized two spoons were more awkward than one, so Dust was in charge of feeding them alternating bites. The Salted Caramel Brown-ie Ale ice cream was just a touch weird, but surprisingly good. They sat in companionable silence until they were about halfway through the pint.

“So… um… should I keep calling you Dust? Or would you rather I call you Sanehn?” Her mouth was full of ice cream so she couldn’t immediately answer, but she tensed up and then forced herself to relax. Cullen stroked his free hand over her thigh, nothing sexual, just a comforting touch. Her heart beat a little faster than she thought was necessary, and she stared at the ice cream as if it might hold the secret to getting back to her comfort zone.

“Dust. It’s the name I chose to use for myself. Sanehn is… It’s what my mother called me until she died, and I didn't hear it again until I went to live with my clan. I don’t know how to describe it, but it's… private.” She shoved a spoonful of ice cream in Cullen’s general direction, not looking at him. He took the spoon from her and rubbed her hip in soft circles. She wasn’t honestly sure how much she wanted to tell him about…well everything if she were honest. How Netflix and chill had turned into ice cream and “let’s talk about Dust’s incredibly shitty childhood and questionable life choices” was a definite mystery.

“That’s fine.” He scooped out some more ice cream and held the spoon up for her to take a bite. “I mean… I don’t exactly understand, but it’s ok, because I don’t need to. I just need to know what you’re comfortable with.”

When she looked at him he was watching her intently, and he looked so sweet and sincere she couldn’t help to lean over and kiss him. He smiled back, always that slightly crooked smile as his scar in his lip pulled. Distracted, the reached out to stroke her thumb over it.

“Will you tell me how you got it?” She asked. Sure she’d learned more about Cullen since they’d started dating, but she wasn’t any more of an expert on his life than he was on hers. “You don’t have to, if you’d rather not.”

“No, this one’s easy. Took a cleat to the face during a game my sophomore year with the Templars.” She looked at him wide eyed.

“I thought Fereldans wore armor for their football. Helmets and shit, how did you take a foot to the face hard enough to give you a scar?”

“Ha, armor. Yeah, we wear helmets, mine got knocked off when I got tackled, and I got a face full of linebacker foot. We never even figured out whose it was. Broke my nose too.” He actually looked rather fond as he recounted the memory of getting his face mangled.

“I’m not sure what some of that meant, but I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t look like you’re describing your first kiss.”

“Hey, I got the winning touchdown, that’s all that matters. Game MVP, and we shut out the Starkhaven Saints, that game was amazing!”

She took back the spoon, shaking her head.

“You are _so_ Fereldan.” He just smiled and kissed her shoulder, but then shifted under her, obviously uncomfortable.

“Am I putting your legs to sleep? Want me to move?”

“No!” His arm tightened around her back. Taking the hint, she twisted so she could lay back against his chest, her head tucked against his shoulder, letting one of her legs fall back to the floor for balance. It allowed him to wrap both arms around her, which seemed to please him if the sigh he gave was any indication.

“So…” He started. He stopped, and she could feel the tension in him as his muscles got stiffer and stiffer. “That’s not the only scar I have. I was in a car accident my junior year in college. I was home in Ferelden, along with some of my friends from the Templars. _That’s_ how I met Del by the way, playing football.”

Dust kept idly eating the ice cream, trying to stay relaxed in his arms, but afraid she was about to hear a story she really wasn’t going to enjoy.

“We were on our way to Del’s place north of Lake Calehad. We uh… stopped to eat some dinner. Three of us. We were switching off driving. I had a couple beers too many, so Emmeric took over for me. Only, he was from Kirkwall, and it doesn’t snow here, so he…” Cullen’s arms tightened until they were painful, and she could actually feel how fast his heart was beating. She ran her hand gently over his forearm but didn’t say anything. His arms loosened slightly at the touch. “I fell asleep, I was in the back seat, Emmeric and Varnell were in the front. The weather was miserable, it was over winter break. They think we hit a patch of ice. I don’t know. I…”

Hearing his breath coming faster, she leaned forward, abandoning the ice cream so she could turn and straddle his lap, taking his face between her hands. His eyes were wide enough she could see white all the way around his iris. The grip he had on her hips was like a vice, as if touching her were a lifeline for a man falling.

“Cullen, baby, it’s ok, I’m right here, ok?” She gently ran her fingers through his hair, her own heart beating a little too fast. “You were in a bad car accident, and you got hurt, yes?”

“Yes. It was… it was really bad. Emmeric and Varnell…” He trailed off and shut his eyes tight.

“They didn’t make it?” She asked, seeing with a kind of terrible clarity the direction they were going.

“No.” It was a choked whisper, more than she could take. Hunching over she wrapped him tight in her arms, pressing his face into her neck, going by pure instinct and hoping she wasn’t making it worse.

“It… took them a while to find the car. I…”

“Shhh, shhh, it’s alright, you don’t have to tell me everything, it’s ok, I don’t want it to hurt you.” It was painful hearing him, the tremble in his voice, rough with obvious trauma. Fuck, why had she asked about his scar? How did they go from football to horrifying trauma? She should have left it the fuck alone.

“Fuck.” Cullen’s voice was rough with emotion, and he pulled back from her, letting his head fall against the back of the couch. She tried to pull back but he held her close. “Fuck I’m sorry I don’t talk about it. Anyway, I also have some scars from the accident. Everything just… went to shit after. I have flashbacks, and anxiety, and fucking _panic attacks_.”

His hands came up to her shoulders and pushed her away so he could look in her eyes, his face sad and angry at the same time.

“Look, I need to tell you this, because I’ve let it fuck up every serious relationship I’ve had, and I know we’re not really serious, but I don’t want to fuck up. I probably will anyway, but I don’t want to. I sure as shit don’t want to do it because of the fucking accident. Again.”

“We’re not serious?” She blurted out, before she even knew what was leaving her mouth. _OK, where the fuck did that come from?_ “Sorry, that was… I don’t even know.”

Well this was definitely going down as pretty much the single most awkward date of her entire life. With a groan she covered her face with her hands, willing herself to find some level of composure, while her emotions did cartwheels all over the damn place.

“Hey…” Cullen’s hands gently wrapped around her wrist, pulling them away from her face. She left her eyes closed. “Dust.”

She opened her eyes at the tone of his voice, so much warmth conveyed in two quick words. He was looking at her seriously, some color having returned to his cheeks. His hands came up to gently hold her face, a mirror of her own earlier gesture, and one of his thumbs traced along the line of her vallaslin over her cheek. Slowly, carefully, he pulled her down until their lips were barely a breath apart, and then waited. It took her a moment to realize he was asking permission. With a sigh she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his so softly that it was less a kiss than simply a touch.

“I think I’m already serious.” Cullen whispered against her mouth. “But I didn’t want to scare you away.”

This time it was a real kiss, and she _was_ scared, kind of terrified actually, but she didn’t want to stop or slow down. It felt a little like the first time she did a lap about a derby ring - she was going too fast, she was definitely going to fall on her ass and get some bumps and bruises, but she didn’t care. For once it’s Cullen’s hand in her hair, pulling out her hair elastic, with only a minor snag or two. She ignored the tiny pain in exchange for the feeling of his blunt fingers sliding over the shaved parts of her head and into her hair making her shiver.

Her own hands clutched at his shoulders as she deepened the kiss as she did earlier in the kitchen, exploring, the lingering taste of ice cream sweet in his mouth. She nibbled gently on his bottom lip, enjoying his sharp intake of breath, his fingers tightening in her hair. It actually felt a little odd to kiss him without his normal light stubble scraping against her lips, but she rather liked the change in texture. When she had left a trail of kisses down his jaw and darted her tongue into the hollow where his jaw met his neck, he let out a muffled moan, and his hips shifted under hers.

“Noodle.” She said in his ear, her own hips rocking down to meet him. “How do you feel about taking this upstairs to my room?”

“Rather like I’ve been invited to the Golden City.”

She let out a chuckle and nipped at his earlobe.

“I’m fairly certain that’s what got you lot in trouble in the first place, but sure, we can go with that.”

In a matter of seconds she had wiggled off Cullen’s lap, and was holding out her hand, grinning, to help him off the couch. He took her hand, but instead of standing up immediately, kissed the inside of her wrist, tongue flicking against her skin before he pulled back. It was a simple gesture, but it sent heat rippling through her body all out of proportion to the size of it. A soft sound escaped the back of her throat. Cullen gave her that delightful smirk and stood up, crowding her back against the coffee table.

“Lead the way to blasphemy.”

With a laugh that could have made one of the fabled desire demon envious, she took his hand and lead him toward the stairs.


	17. Intimacy and Intimidation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dust and Cullen continue their date... upstairs. *eyebrow wiggle*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the rating change kids!
> 
> Also, FYI Cullen has a lot of not great thoughts about himself in this chapter. Not sure if they might be triggering. Some self fat shaming and generally being anxious and feeling like crap. Smut with Cullen is Awkward Smut, but fear not, Dust is not easily deterred.

Dust was not shy. Dust was the _opposite_ of shy. Cullen had barely gotten a vague impression of her bedroom (very pretty, mostly white and green, unexpectedly frilly bed with a canopy) when Dust’s tank top was being tossed away, followed by the very pleasant sight of her wiggling out of her shorts. When she was wearing nothing but panties, socks, and a bra, she grinned at him, standing with her hands on her hips obviously intending for him to look his fill.

It was little hard to focus because there was so much of her he wanted to pay close attention to. There was the lacy white tattoo under her breasts obviously intended to mimic the garter tattoos, the flash of silver and green in her navel, and the fact that she was wearing a very small pair of white lace panties and a bra that did very little to hide, and a lot to entice. He was still staring as she toed off her socks and turned to crawl onto her bed, flipping her hair over one shoulder and deliberately posing in a mimic of the infamous tattoo picture.

“I really hope I’m not supposed to say anything brilliant right now, because my brain is not receiving any signals.” Cullen was entirely amazed at himself for getting out such a coherent sentence with what seemed like miles of dark brown skin and white hair on display for him personally.

“How about you get your ass over here and we can work on sending the right signals?” Dust suggested with a chuckle.

Cullen groaned and stumbled over to the bed, which should have been embarrassing but he just couldn’t care, especially when Dust grabbed at his shirt, pulling him on top of her and wrapping her legs around his hips. She took one of his hands, laying it flat against her ribs and then urging him to slide it upward, the same path he had followed in the kitchen. This time there was no tank top to hide the view of his own pale, freckled skin against the smooth darkness of hers. He traced his fingertips over the elaborate lines of the tattoo, the ink as delicate and beautiful as the lace of her bra.

Dust arched into his touch, making soft, satisfied noises that sent heat shooting between his legs. He was already half hard, and his body hadn’t responded this fast in… well he honestly couldn’t remember. Letting her hand fall from his, she simply laid back, eyes closed in obvious enjoyment at his touch. The little white patterns on her chin made an inviting target for his mouth as he lowered himself down, trailing kisses across them and down her jaw. Gliding his hand slowly up over the curve of her breast, his fingertips traced the hard peak of her nipple with the same delicate attention he paid to her tattoos. Dust moaned, lifting her chin to give him better access to her neck, an invitation if he’d ever seen one.

He shifted down so he could suck at her neck just below her ear, gentle at first, and then with more force as she made approving noises, pressing her chest up into his hand. Taking the hint he cupped her breast, molding it in his hand and using thumb and forefinger to tug at her nipple, still gentle, but with more force. He was enjoying the high pitched noise she made when he added more pressure, when he realized that he was feeling more than flesh and lace.

Cullen lifted his head, looking down at his hand over the white lace of her bra cup. Dust made a soft, protesting noise and opened her eyes, looking at him accusingly.

“Are… are your _nipples_ pierced?” His voice was definitely not supposed to come out high pitched and breathy. Dust laughed, and it was dark and knowing and his dick seemed to go from hard to desperate just at the sound.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” She grinned and arched her back, moving her arms under herself. In a matter of moments, with her legs still locked around him, she had unhooked her bra and pulled it off, revealing not only beautifully rounded breasts and plump dark nipples, but little silver beads capping either side of the bars through them. Cullen groaned, and Dust’s hands were in his hair again, clutching just hard enough to make his scalp protest as she pushed his head down to her left breast, intention obvious.

Following rules, taking instruction, and being a model student had always been some of Cullen’s better qualities. Qualities he was _more_ than happy to apply to this situation. He circled his tongue around her areola, moving close to the center and exploring the difference in texture between the metal and skin, before closing his mouth over the bud to suck gently.

“Fuck!” Dust’s hips rocked against him and her fingers tightened in his hair. “Harder.”

He complied, mind going fuzzy as everything but the taste and feel of skin and metal disappeared. Dust unwrapped her legs from around him, spreading them wide, knees slightly bent. One of her hands slipped out of his hair to grab the hand he had braced on her hip, this time guiding it lower, sliding across her belly until it was rubbing against the surface of her panties. He moaned, long, and heartfelt at the feeling of thin, wet fabric stretched tight over heat and softness. He slid his hand down so he could press the fleshy base of his palm over where he was fairly certain her clit was. From the way she pressed hard up against his hand, his sense of direction was definitely on target.

To get better leverage he shifted over, putting a bit more weight on his left arm as he ended up straddling one of her bent legs. The feeling of her thigh pressing against painfully hard cock, still trapped in his jeans was almost as much torture as relief, but that didn’t matter at all with her slick and hot under his hand. He pushed aside the soaked fabric so he could run two fingers over her wet, slightly parted labia lips, slipping his middle finger inside her as he continued to press down on her clit. 

“Yes, just like that Cullen, _fuck_.” She kept talking, but whatever language she switched to wasn’t one he knew. The sound of her voice, smokey and low, babbling above his head sent a shudder through his whole body. Pulling against her grip he shifted to her right breast, this time biting down gently and pulling up on her nipple. Dust wailed, her hand gripping so tight in his hair he had to tug down to maintain a grip on her nipple. It had been a long time since he’d had the pleasant sting of someone pulling at his hair in ecstasy, and he’d missed it. 

The pain of her grip just added to the nearly overwhelming wash of stimulation flooding his senses. It was growing hard to focus with the different sensations demanding his attention… the feel of her nipple between his teeth and under his tongue, lips pressed against the soft flesh. The maddening press of her thigh against his cock through his clothes, shifting as she pumped her hips against the pressure of his hand. The wet heat of her around his finger, the pressure of her pubic mound under his hand. She gasped out something that sounded vaguely like a command, but he couldn’t understand it. Cullen lifted his head from her breast and she actually growled at him, making his cock twitch again, pleasure bordering on pain.

“Oh fucking _Maker_ Dust, you’re killing me.” He bent his head back down, catching the rounded inside of her breast in his mouth and sucking hard, digging his teeth in, wanting to leave some mark of his presence on her body.

“More! Your fingers, more of them!” Dust bucked her hips, her leg pressing hard against him, and for a blinding moment he thought he might come right there against her, still completely clothed. He whimpered into her skin, still sucking and biting and slid a second finger inside her, trying to maintain a rhythm as she pressed frantically against his palm, head thrown back. After a moment he pressed a third finger in with the first two, the tight, hot walls of her cunt squeezing around him. The wet, sloppy sound of his fingers fucking into her was a counterpart to the moans and curses spilling from her mouth, driving him mad. He ground the base of his hand against her hard, arm beginning to ache from the continuous pressure, pulling his mouth back from the side of her breast to clumsily capture her nipple between his lips again. He sucked hard enough to pull the flesh well into his mouth, and then bit down.

Dust’s grip on his hair suddenly went so brutal that tears came to his eyes, but he barely noticed as she arched up into him, breath catching before a moment of total silence, as even her breathing stopped. Then he felt the muscles around his fingers tighten and pulse, and she found her voice in a long, sobbing wail as she came under him. After a few moments he stilled his fingers inside her, cock twitching desperately in its confinement as the shivering after echo of her orgasm squeezed around his fingers, and her other muscles slowly unclenched. Dust released her desperate grip of his hair and she seemed to melt back into the bed with a sound that could definitely be described as a purr. 

With a shaky breath Cullen let his head fall to her chest, slowly and carefully pulling his fingers back out of her, smoothing the soaking wet crotch of her underwear back into place, which earned him a noise he was fairly certain was positive. Letting the rest of his body relax over her, he shifted his weight partially to the side so he wasn’t crushing her. Dust’s hand drifted back to his hair, this time petting gently, fingers soothing.

“Sorry about the hair, Noodle. I probably should have warned you I’m a bit of a puller.” He grunted and turned his head just far enough to free his lips from pressing against her warm, slightly damp skin.

“I’d never have suspected at all, considering how much time you spend with your hands in my hair.” Her breasts shook when she laughed at him, and his dick, still completely ignored, gave another nearly painful twitch of interest.

“Hmph… still enough brain power for sass. Obviously I have work to do.” 

“You don’t have to.” He murmured, unable to resist the urge to kiss the soft curve of her breast again. He could see the mark his teeth had left behind, red and distinct even in the low light.

“Who said anything about _have to_? I’ve been thinking about getting you in bed since our first date.” She wiggled out from under him with enviable agility, leaving him belly down on the bed. He turned his head to track her movements. Once she was off the side of the bed she wiggled right out of the wet panties, leaving her totally naked for the first time. She had a small patch of white pubic hair, neatly groomed, and his brain produced the mental image of his tongue running over it, which in turn made him groan and bury his face in the soft white quilt on her bed.

“I’m not sure how to take that as a response to me actually getting naked.” She said, voice full of amusement. Horror raced through him and his head popped up of its own volition.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that! I was thinking… about… things.” Cullen stuttered to a halt, grateful that he was probably far too flushed for any more blushing to be noticeable.

“Things? Well I have a few things in mind myself. Turn over.” Dust ordered, spinning her finger lazily to support her words. He followed her instructions, laying flat on his back, arms extended as he watched her stalk around the bed like some kind of long limbed predator. For the sake of his stamina he tried not to think about being devoured.

Cullen let his head fall back when she stood at the end of the bed, leaning down to run her hands up his thighs, his whole body tensing under her touch, starting to feel the first hint of nervousness bubble in his belly. _Not now._ He told himself firmly. Unfortunately by the time her warm hands reached his hips, sliding up under his shirt, his heart was beating far too fast even for the circumstances, and he grabbed her wrists to stop her without thinking. 

“Cullen?” She didn’t push against his hold at all, simply holding herself above him, hair falling forward to shield her breasts, brows drawn together in concern. “I’m sorry, am I going to fast? We don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to. I mean I’m definitely game if you do, but we can go at whatever pace you want.”

Dust smiled tentatively at him and it almost hurt to look at her, at the concern on her face.

“No! I mean yes!” _Maker’s breath._ He was screwing everything up. “I mean it’s just you’re _perfect_ and I’m… not.”

Dust blinked at him, long lashes fluttering, her face showing obvious signs of confusion. Words came spilling out of his mouth entirely on their own, a flood of insecurities he hadn’t at all intended to mention.

“I’m fat, and I’ve got scars, and just… You deserve someone perfect, like Isabela, not a washed up football player who walks dogs and has anxiety attacks!” He let go of Dust’s wrists and closed his eyes, letting his head flop back, horrified at his own whining. Anxiety made his stomach churn until he was afraid he’d be sick. Dust’s hands moved off his hips and he was sure he’d just fucked everything to the Void, when he felt the bed shift and suddenly there was a warm body pressed close against him. He opened his eyes and Dust was looking at him, face intent, and… hurt. It was like a swift kick in the stomach.

“Do you really think…” She bit her lower lip, brows drawing together. “Sweetheart I don’t even know what to _do_ with that. I’m not perfect. I’m _far_ from perfect in _any_ way. I don’t think I can handle you holding me up to that kind of standard.” Her hair had fallen forward and she tucked it behind her ear with an impatient gesture, earrings glimmering at the movement. “I… I like being _strong_. I like eating a lot of food and working out because when I was a kid I was hungry all the time, and I couldn’t really defend myself. If I look a certain way because of that and people find it attractive that’s ok, but that is not the point for me at _all_. I am _not_ perfect.” 

Dust closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and he could see the muscles of her throat work as she swallowed. He felt like something unbearably heavy was pressing on his chest, crushing him under the weight of anxiety, self-loathing, and guilt. _You hurt her, you fucked up, you ruin everything!_ Her eyes opened again and she looked down at him, expression going fierce. His ever spiraling thoughts came screeching to a halt under the weight of her glare. Her pupils were blown wide, only a ring of crystalline color around them, and between her tattoos and the wild tangle of her hair she looked fierce and beautiful and intimidating.

“Also, you have some _really_ fucked up ideas if you think being fat or having scars would make you unattractive to me, and I resent the shit out of it. I _personally_ don’t think you’re fat, but even if you were, it’s just a description, not a fucking _pejorative_.” She spat the last word out with real heat, one finger poking him in the sternum sharply to emphasize her point, making him twitch. For a moment he just lay there blinking up at her, and then before he even knew what was happening a laugh escaped him. He could hear the hysterical edge to it and he clapped his hand over his mouth while she stared down at him, anger mixed with obvious confusion. “ _What?_ ”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it’s just I’ve never had someone use the word pejorative in a conversation while naked in bed with me.” His lips twitched around another helpless chuckle and he could see one corner of Dust’s lips trying to tip up into her little half smile. She settled down on the bed with a snicker, her head landing on his shoulder with a thunk.

“Right tit you are, as Sera would say.” She wrapped her arm over his chest and flung one of her legs over his thighs. It was surprisingly comforting to have her wrapped around him like a rashvine nettle. He still felt a bit empty and sick, but her anger had managed to jar him right out of his shame spiral into something… well he wasn’t even sure how he felt.

“That’s fair, though your tits are much nicer.” That earned him a short laugh and he smiled, leaning over to plant a kiss against her hair. The strands were fine and silky against his mouth. Before he’d touched it the first time he’d imaged the texture heavy as silken rope, but in reality it was soft as candyfloss. 

“Well that was never in contention, obviously.” She said, voice a soft rumble against him. They lay there quietly for a few minutes, entwined, and it was oddly relaxing. The stomach churning anxiety faded, even the shaky aftermath slowly slipping away. 


	18. Orgasms and Old Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin...

Eventually Dust shifted, easing herself up and over so that she sat straddling his thighs, obviously comfortable in her nudity, looking down at him seriously. Cullen’s hard on had lost its momentum during his anxiety attack, but he didn’t mind. It was kind of a relief not to be painfully pressed against the seam of his jeans.

“I meant what I said you know. We don’t have to do anything else. I hope what we already did wasn’t going too fast for you?” He shook his head to re-assure her torn between a feeling of warmth at her obvious concern, and an entirely different heat at the sight of her naked and straddling him. His brain might never recover from the constant shift in blood flow their night together was causing. “I can throw on my pajamas and we could actually watch Netflix if you like.”

She smiled down at him and her face was so sincere that it made him smile back, just as sincerely. Perhaps Mia had been right about just giving Dust a chance to understand? _Maybe you should stop thinking about your sister while your girlfriend is naked on top of you…_

“No, I think I’m good right here. You might be a little far away though.” Her hands were resting lightly on his stomach and he wrapped his hands around her wrists, tugging gently. She took the hint with a smirk, setting one hand on either side of his head and lowering herself over him with one fluid, undulating motion that made him gasp. 

“Is this close enough?” she asked, mouth hovering a few inches over him, her body pressed tight to his from hip to shoulder. With a smirk of his own he slid one hand into her hair, tugging her down gently until their lips were just pressing against each other. Giving in to curiosity he brought his other hand up sliding one finger up the shell of her ear, all the way up to the pointed tip, which he cautiously ran his finger over. The response was delightful - her back arched, hips pressing down on him as her eyes fluttered shut, an obvious shiver of pleasure running through her as a breathless moan fell from her mouth. 

“Cullen…” his name was a plea on her lips and his hand clenched involuntarily in her hair, the hand touching her ear trembling with reaction. His hard on seemed intent on returning with a vengeance, the weight of her pressing against him doing nothing to deter his cock from stirring. Very gently, he stroked her ear again, this time from the front, back up to the tip, and she whimpered, giving another full body shake. This time he caught the lovely sight of her breasts trembling, the hard tips damn near begging him to suck them for all that he was at the wrong angle to do it.

Before he could figure out how to reach all the enticing points of her body at once, she reared back, shaking her head and giving a little shiver as her hair settled back over her breasts.

“Cullen, I would really love to get you out of these clothes. Is that alright?”

“Yes, please.” The little voice in his head yelling with panicked shrillness about his lack of visible ab definition and the ugliness of his scars was quickly drowned out as she eased back down his legs and made short work of the button and zipper on his jeans. Dust tugged at the waistband of his jeans and he lifted his hips accommodatingly. She managed to slither down the bed and pull his pants down all without falling or even looking awkward. It would have been annoying if it weren’t so breathtakingly sexy. When she pulled his socks off with a flourish he laughed, smiling as she cocked her head and gave him a considering look.

“Move up the bed for me, baby. Head on the pillows.” 

The process was a bit awkward, but managed to get himself fully on her bed, head and shoulders braced against the pile of soft pillows resting against her quilted headboard. He was rewarded with a sultry smile before she got back up on the bed, crawling over his body, stopping to drop a kiss on each of his thighs. He stiffened as her mouth moved past the scar on his leg, but it had never bothered him the way the scars on his chest did. He bit his lip and clenched his hands against the bed, willing himself to be still and let her do what she pleased. 

What she pleased turned out to be holding her weight on her left arm while her right hand reached under his shirt to push it up just a few inches. Dust flashed him a look weighted with intent before lowering her head to kiss the trail of dark blond hair that traveled down to the waistband of his underwear. She somehow managed to avoid brushing against his now hard cock, dropping soft kisses as she moved over the small curve of belly that he resented so much, obviously not the least bothered. Her hand pressed his shirt up further, and he stiffened. She stopped immediately and looked up at him with concern.

“Do you want to leave your shirt on?” She asked. There was no censure in her voice, just concern, and it made his chest ache with emotions too mixed to sort out in his current state of arousal. 

“No… I. No.” With a grunt, using Dust’s weight on his legs as a counterbalance he sat up and pulled his shirt off, tossing it off the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close so they were skin to skin, burying his face in the soft curve of neck and shoulder, pressing kisses into her skin to keep him grounded in the moment. She made encouraging noises as she gently wrapped her arms around him, holding her hands still on his back.

“People have told me over and over that they aren’t that bad, but I just… in my head I just look…” He breathed in the scent of her, perfume and sweat, the faint, musky scent of sex clinging to her skin. “It just doesn’t even look like my body sometimes.”

“Hmmm… you know, we can change positions if that would make it easier?” Her voice was low and breathy in his ear, and there didn’t seem to be any annoyance or pity in her tone. Her nails slid over the back of his neck as she leaned down to take the lobe of his ear between her teeth. “I’d happily get on my hands and knees and let you fuck me into the mattress.”

Cullen whined like a mabari pup begging for a treat and couldn’t be bothered to feel the least bit embarrassed. He slid his hands down over the curve of her ass, squeezing hard and pressing her down against him, aching for any kind of relief. The mental image of her spread before him, smirking over her shoulder at him was enough to have him biting his lip for control. 

“I get the feeling someone likes that plan.” She said with a chuckle.

“Yes… no!” He gave a desperate laugh. “Yes, Maker _yes_ I want that, but not now. I want to see you, I want you right where you are.”

“Well I’m happy to ride you like a halla baby, but you’re going to have to finish getting naked and get inside me.”

Cullen flopped back on the bed with a moan. Arousal finally won out over anxiety and he reached down to shove down the waistband of his boxers, pushing them down his hips. Dust grinned and scrambled back, taking over from him to pull them down and finally free his cock. The smile of satisfaction on her face as she looked down at him sent a fresh wave of arousal through him, making him groan. The head of his cock was flushed deep red with arousal, almost painfully hard, and the tip glistened with precome.

“Good things certainly do come to those who wait.” Dust said with a grin, wiggling delightfully as she worked on getting his boxers all the way off. Cullen huffed out a small laugh as he watched her move, trying to focus on her body instead of his own. She straddled his thighs, reaching down to trace the tip of her finger around the flared rim of the glans. He let his head flop back against the pillows, biting his lip on a heartfelt moan. When she wrapped her hand around him and began to stroke, he had to clench his hands in the bedcovers.

“Fuck… Not sure how long I’m going to last if you keep that up.”

“Hmmm… some other time I’m just going to beat you off like this until you come, just to watch from start to finish.” He was breathing hard, just concentrating on lasting, but oh _Maker_ her voice was sinful. “But not tonight. Hold that thought.”

The weight on his legs shifted and then disappeared. He opened his eyes in time to see her crawl up the bed and open a drawer in her nightstand. Reaching up he ran his hand down the curve of her hip appreciatively, and she made a pleased noise before turning back to him brandishing a square foil packet and bottle of lube. 

“I had to go buy more condoms.” She informed him with a low laugh. “Been awhile since I’ve been with someone with a penis.”

“Same.” He said with a smirk, which got him a slightly startled laugh.

“Oh that is _definitely_ something I want to hear all about. Later.” Dust back over him to settle between his legs with a smile. Even with so little blood flow to his brain, he could appreciate how happy she seemed about the whole thing. She was comfortable with her own body, seemed _very_ happy with his, and eager all around. It was… well nice seemed a little like damning with faint praise, it honestly seemed rather miraculous.

Setting the condom aside she moved back up the length of his body, brushing bits of bare skin against his cock as she moved. He gritted his teeth at each touch, resisting the urge to thrust up for more contact. She lowered her mouth over his, kissing him with such sweetness, lips still faintly flavored with caramel and cream.

“Are you ok?” She asked softly, voice little more than a whisper. “Do you want me to keep going? Anything you want me to do or not do?”

He lifted his hands to her hips, fingers digging into flesh and holding her in place and tilting his head up to kiss her more firmly. 

“I can’t think of a single thing I want more right now than my cock inside you, so as long as that’s where you’re going, please continue.”

She flicked her tongue over his scar then laughed, pulling out of his hold on her.

“I can work with that.”

Dust made short work of the condom package, rolling it down over his dick with quick, efficient movements that managed to still feel amazingly good. The pressure of the condom and it’s slightly dampening effect on sensation helped pull him back from the brink a bit, which he appreciated. She added a generous coating of lube to the already lubricated condom before straddling him once again, tossing her hair back over her shoulder. He watched her intently, tracing all the curves and angles, even in the moment thinking of exploring them more in the future. Then, with a quick shift of her body she had him in hand, lining him up and then sinking slowly down on him, her eyes closed and her lower lip, flushed red, caught between her teeth.

It felt so good he wanted to close his eyes, but there was no way he was looking away from the expression of ecstasy on her face. She gave a little whimper that shot through him like lightening, and it took all of his concentration not to buck up into her, but to lay still and let her set the pace. By the time he was in her to the hilt, her heat surrounding him, wetness smearing over his balls, he was clutching her hips for dear life.

“Dust, shit, _please_ ,” he begged. Her eyes stay closed but she began to move, hips undulating and powerful thighs shifting, not the least perturbed by the clutching strength of his hands. After a few moments adjusting Dust leaned over, arms outstretched to support herself against the headboard and began to move with purpose. It had never once occurred to Cullen to thank the Maker for roller skates, but he suddenly felt that they were obviously divinely inspired. 

“Put your hands on my tits Cullen.” Her voice was breathy, a slight stutter to the words as she found her rhythm over him. He complied happily, moving his hands over the softness of her belly and up to her breasts. Her hips lost their even pace for a moment when he pinched both her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. She keened out something in a language he couldn’t understand and then started moving even faster, driving a loud, long groan from deep in his belly. 

“Dust, Dust, shit I… fuck… I can’t.” There was no way he was going to last with the feel of her hot and tight around him, her breasts in his hands as he watched her move, dark skin damp with sweat.

“Come on baby, don’t hold back, come for me.” 

He moved his hands down to her hips, squeezing hard as he gave in to the urge to move, setting his feet against the bed so that he could slam up to meet her downward thrusts. With a wordless shout she fell forward slightly, catching herself with one hand on his shoulder, the other still on the headboard. Her hair fell over them both, brushing against his chest, both of their breaths coming in heavy gasps. 

“Oh fucking _Maker!_ ” He was so close, the little points of pain from her nails digging into his shoulder just adding to the rush of pleasure overloading his senses. Dust gave another of those low growls and he could feel her somehow tensing her muscles around the length of his cock, each rise and fall like a vice grip.

“I have… nothing… to do… with your _Maker_.”

Cullen gave a shout, words lost as his balls tightened, come pulsing out of him into the confines of the condom and the tight wrapped grip of her cunt. He clenched his eyes shut and held her in place against him, bodies pressed tight together. At some point when colors weren’t flashing in the darkness behind his eyes and he could remember how to breath, he might worry about orgasming as his girlfriend denied the Maker, but then again maybe not.

When he managed to breathe and open his eyes again Dust had her head back, eyes closed and lip between her teeth again as one of her hands worked between her legs. He watched, entranced as she worked her fingers around him and over her clit, shivering in obvious pleasure. With a soft cry and a gasp he felt her whole body shiver as her cunt tightened around him again, milking another last pulse of come from his softening dick. His fingers gave a last convulsive squeeze to her hips as he whined again, this time from overstimulation. It was possible he was dying, but also possible he was completely okay with it.

Dust didn’t even open her eyes, just lowered herself over him with enviable muscle control, like falling in slow motion. Her head rested on his chest, her lips pressing soft and lazy against his skin, murmuring in what he was fairly certain was Antivan. He unclenched his hands from her hips, idly hoping he hadn’t hurt her, and wrapped his arms around her, stroking one hand up her back in slow sweeps.

“Your chest hair tickles.” She commented, apparently having remembered how to speak Common. He chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

“The stubble is one thing, but I’m afraid the chest hair is here to stay.”

“Hmm… I supposed I can adjust.” With a groan she pushed herself up, using his shoulders for support and making him grunt. She huffed out a little protesting noise and pulled off of him carefully. He made his own protesting noise as his now soft prick slid out to lay against his thigh. With a deft motion she pulled off the condom and tied it off before he’d done more than blinked a few times. She patted him on the thigh and slipped off the bed.

“Be right back.” She told him cheerfully, walking slightly bow legged toward a closed door that turned out to be a bathroom. He lay back in the pillows, mind delightfully empty of anything but the haze of post orgasmic exhaustion. Not that he’d done as much work as Dust, but his body was pretty sure he’d just run the world’s best marathon.

Dust came back out of the bathroom gloriously naked, messy hair tucked behind her ears, and held out a piece of fabric to him. It took his brain a moment to register that it was a washcloth, and when he took it he found it was warm and damp. He smiled and took it from her, levering himself up on one arm to clean off. Dust sat on the bed next to him, leaning against the headboard, legs tucked under herself and watched with obvious and unrepentant interest. He tried not to feel self conscious as he gave a few final swipes, feeling his cheeks grow warm with the telltale feeling of a blush. 

“Uh, do you mind if I use your bathroom?” He asked, feeling awkward with the washcloth in hand. Dust laughed.

“You’re adorable. Considering what else of mine you were using a minute ago you can definitely use my bathroom.”

He shook his head, feeling the blush move down his neck.

“I’m not touching that.”

“That’s not what you said earlier.” Her grin was bright and he groaned.

“Please try not to sound like Bull.” He begged. She was still chuckling as he levered himself creakily off the bed and went into the bathroom. Rinsing out the washcloth, he folded it neatly over a space on a towel rack to dry. Like her bedroom the bathroom was decorated in white and green, everything clean and neatly arranged. After appeasing his bladder he washed his hands with soap that smelled like embrium, catching sight of himself in the mirror. 

He looked… well honestly he looked well fucked, which made him smile. His hair was a riot of curls and there was a smattering of small red marks across his shoulders from Dust’s nails. He also had the beginning of a couple fairly impressive looking hickeys, and a few other stray bites and marks, some leftover from Friday after the derby match. His eyes skittered over his scars, but he made himself look at them, trying to see them as others might. 

The one on the right side of his chest from the surgery to repair his collapsed lung was the worst, extending to his back, raised and looking a bit redder than normal with exertion. The two nasty scars from where his ribs had broken through the skin were puckered and warped, uneven circles, always a bit tender to the touch. There were a few other smaller ones across his chest, faded to white, some from the accident, some from random sports injuries and childhood mishaps. 

The freckles and dark blond chest hair were the same as always, as were the muscular arms and shoulders, pecs still firm enough to avoid man boob status thanks to wrangling large dogs all day. He definitely had a belly, which some days bothered him more than others, mostly when he thinks about the fact that his medication is partly responsible for it. His mouth twisted with distaste over the sum of his parts and he turned to dry his hands. Cullen took a deep breath - he was not going to let himself feel like shit when he’d just had the best orgasm he’d had in _years_ , with one of the most beautiful women he’d ever met. Fuck what he looked like, as long as Dust was happy.

Trying to keep that thought firmly planted in his head, he walked out of the bathroom, blinking at the change in lighting. Dust had turned off the lamp from earlier, and the room was lit by dozens of little white lights that lined the soft canopy of her bed. Dust herself was on the bed, her hair pulled back in a messy bun, wearing yet another pair of distractingly small panties (teal, with white lace trim) and a dark grey tank top. She was laying on her belly, gently kicking her legs and flexing her feet as if to stretch her muscles, face buried in a pillow. 

“Wow, this is really pretty.” Dust turned to smile at him, shifting onto her side. Her lips were kiss swollen and red, expression soft and happy, and he couldn’t resist smiling back.

“Thanks, I know they’re very Pinterest, but I like them.” She flopped onto her back, looking up at all the lights and smiling. She was so gorgeous under the tiny, white gold lights that she barely looked real. His breath caught and he had to look away from her to keep himself from blurting out ridiculously premature declarations.

“Nothing wrong with a little Pinterest.” He said instead. “Umm.. any idea where my clothes are?”

She held up his boxers and waved them like a flag before putting them back on the bed, next to what he realized was a neat pile of the rest of his things. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d wanna stay the night. You go to work super early, right? I think I actually live closer to Puppy Love than you do, but if you’d rather go back to your place I understand.” 

Cullen walked around to the side of his bed with his clothes. Dust’s tone was casual, but there was something a bit wistful about her expression. He might occasionally be a little clueless, but it was fairly obvious there was a right answer here, no matter how neutral she was trying to be. He _wanted_ to stay, wanted to feel her warm weight against him as he fell asleep, and see what she looked like first thing in the morning, rumpled and hazy with sleep. What he _didn’t_ want was to have to explain waking up panicked and desperate in the middle of the night. After all the tension of the evening’s confessions he was nearly guaranteed to have one.

“Actually I switched with Merrill for tomorrow, she’s taking the early shift.” He pulled on his boxers and t-shirt, setting aside his socks and jeans. Who was he kidding? There was no way he was getting into his Jeep and heading home with Dust half naked and hopeful in bed wanting him to stay. 

“Perfect!” She said, smiling delightedly. “Now, important question - how do you feel about breakfast burritos?”


	19. Questions and Quagmires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops...

It was a little weird, but nice to have a lover spend the night again. Cullen helped clean up the kitchen, even though he had no idea where anything went, and mostly got in the way. Still, the thought was very sweet. She gave her well used “I don’t cuddle” speech, and Cullen just smiled at her, but didn’t complain. They finished the evening in bed watching The Neverending Story, which apparently was one of Bull and Cullen’s favorite shared movies - Bull, because of the dragon, and Cullen, because the dragon was basically a dog. Dust hated the scene with Artax, so she busied herself sucking a hickey into Cullen’s neck through the entire scene.

Cullen fell asleep before the Young Empress received her incomprehensible name and Dust let herself smile foolishly over how adorable he looked. His curls were a positive riot of dark gold, his mouth soft and slightly open. There were dark circles under his eyes, and she could see the tiny veins in his pale eyelids as his closed eyes moved in his sleep. He was just… adorable. A bit of a hot mess of anxiety and image issues, but her natural instinct to flee anything more complicated than a one night stand had apparently been seriously curbed. Whether it was age or her time with Isabela was hard to say, but instead of wanting to kick Cullen out and avoid him, she wanted to curl up around him and protect him. It was a new feeling, and _weird_ , but not unpleasant.

She put her tablet away and turned out the lights on her canopy, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Oh so gently, she placed a kiss on Cullen’s forehead, reaching up to brush back a stray curl. _Ugh, this is pathetic, you huge nerd._ She wasn’t sure what was more amusing, her own ridiculous schmoopy behavior, or her disgust with her schmoopy behavior. With a shake of her head she settled down, and closed her eyes, letting herself drift to the soft sound of Cullen’s even breathing. 

* * *

The bed shaking woke her with a start, and for a moment she was sure she was back in her Clan territory, her cousin shaking her awake to help cook breakfast. It took her a few moments to realize that it was a very nice mattress under her and not a sleeping bag. The room was dark, her velvet curtains working well enough that a human wouldn’t have been able to see much of anything.

Cullen was thrashing beside her hard enough to shake the bed, moaning and murmuring almost-words, voice pleading. It smote her heart and her first instinct was to reach out and soothe him, waking him from his nightmare. Her first instinct turned out to be utter shit when she apparently startled him into a panic and his flailing hand connected with her cheek hard enough to make her see stars.

“Ow, fuck, Cullen wake _up!_ ” Her left eye was watering enough that even with her excellent night vision the room was blurring. Cullen sat up with a gasp like a drowning man, then shouted when he saw her and scrambled off the bed, panting loudly.

“Cullen, it’s Dust, it’s okay, you’re in my bedroom baby, it’s okay.” She dropped her hand from her cheek, trying to stay still. She could still hear his harsh panting, and see the outline of his body hunched against the faint outlines of light from the window.

“Dust?” He asked, voice hoarse and miserable.

“Yeah baby, I’m here, I’m sorry, I obviously startled you when I tried to wake you up.”

“Your eyes…” He said nervously, and she groaned in annoyance. Turning she reached for the switch to the lights of her canopy, flipping them on and hoping it wouldn’t inspire more panic. When she turned back to Cullen he was blinking rapidly, skin waxy and slick with sweat, his pupils still a little dilated, hands clenching and unclenching, shoulders up almost to his ears.

“Eyeshine,” She explained, pointing at her eyes. “It’s an elf thing. We see better in the dark, similar conal structure to cats, hence the freaky light reflection. Promise I didn’t turn into a demon while you were sleeping.”

She smiled tentatively at him, which made her face smart a little. Okay, actually a lot, but she’d be fine once Cullen calmed back down, she’d just put some ice on it.

“I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry, I should have warned you about the nightmares.” Cullen scrubbed his hands over his face. He sounded so anxious and unhappy she wanted to just wrap him up in one of her blankets and pet his head. He looked around him blearily before reaching down to grab his jeans, starting to pull them on. _What the fuck?_

“Noodle, what the fuck are you doing?” She was so confused. Really the last five minutes of her life could use a good rewind.

“I shouldn’t have stayed, this was a mistake.”

_Ouch_. “Ouch.”

Well ok, she could… deal with that. Sure it hurt worse than getting smacked in the face, but it wasn’t like she could keep him against his will. What the hell was she even supposed to say to that? Cullen looked up at her, meeting her eyes for the first time, and she saw his widen as he looked at her.

“Dust, what happened to your face?” He sounded like he knew the answer and wasn’t at all happy about it. She waved her hand negligently. If he was going to go he needed to hurry up and get the fuck out, she didn’t want to chit chat. She wanted to ice her cheek and figure out what you did when your boyfriend of two weeks dumped you after you had sex for the first time. It was a new experience. She was quite sure it was one she never wanted to have again.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it, like I said, I startled you awake.”

“Oh Maker, I am so sorry, so very, _very_ sorry.” He started toward the bed, but whatever look she had on her face stopped him short, so he stood fidgeting and looking miserable instead. She was suddenly resentful. Why the fuck was _he_ miserable? She was the one with a sore face who was being dumped.

“Look, Cullen, I said don’t worry about it. You didn’t do it on purpose. Can we just get the breaking up over with so I can go back to sleep?” She sounded pissy, and she didn’t really care. She was angry. This was all stupid and _painful_ and she didn’t want to deal with it anymore.

“Break… up?” Cullen looked like she had kicked him in the balls. It hadn’t seemed possible he could get more pale, and yet he did somehow. Pale and sick and miserable and she still wanted to comfort him and that just made it all worse somehow.

“You just told me that you’re leaving and sleeping with me was a mistake, not _exactly_ sure how else I’m supposed to take that other than you breaking up with me.” She sat up, crossing her legs and glaring, trying not to show pain, physical or emotional. It never helped, people just used it against you later. Anger was fine, anger was something she could deal with.

“Dust… I never… I didn’t mean…” Cullen trailed off, staring at her helplessly. One of his hands was rubbing at the back of his neck, the other clenched into a fist, and he looked for all the world like a puppy who had been thoroughly kicked. Her anger drained away in the sudden realization that she had very likely jumped to entirely the wrong conclusion. Mythal’s mercy the man made her nuts.

“Oh fuck, Noodle, come over here.” He didn’t move, just stared at her looking both hurt _and_ confused. “Cullen, please, come sit down, let’s just start over because I think we both just fucked up.”

“I…” He looked at the bed as if it might attack him, hand still firmly planted on the back of his neck. She clenched her own hands under the covers to resist the urge to drag him back into the bed. Her heart was beating too fast from the wild swirl of emotions as she waited. Finally Cullen sat on the side of the bed, twisting slightly so he could see her better.

“Can I come closer?” She asked. He nodded warily. She scooted over until her body was curved around him, not quite touching. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes.” He took a shaky breath and she reached out to run her hand over his, where it was balled up on his thigh.

“Okay, let’s try this again. You had a nightmare, I tried to wake you up, and you accidentally smacked me when you were flailing around.” His shoulders hunched, and he closed his eyes.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this baby, but I kind of get smacked as a hobby. That wasn’t what upset me. But you really need to learn not to tell a girl you just had sex with that you made a mistake. I’m going out on a limb here that you weren’t actually _trying_ to break up with me?”

“No!, Maker no!” He opened his eyes then and turned to look at her. “I never meant that, at all, I just meant… I shouldn’t have risked making you deal with the nightmares. I _hurt_ you.” His voice broke and he turned away from her again. That was all she could take. Wiggling back up she knelt behind him, wrapping her arms tight around him and resting her unbruised cheek on his shoulder.

“Oh Noodle, we’re a mess.” She lifted her head and kissed the bit of clammy skin she could reach at the back of his neck, felt his breath hitch. “I don’t want you to go, not like this. If you don’t want to share a bed I can go sleep in Dorian’s room. I’m sorry I snapped at you, you just freaked me out a little. I’m getting rather attached to you.” She huffed out a self deprecating laugh.

To her surprise Cullen reached up and grabbed her wrists, pulling her arms off of him. Her stomach dipped until he turned and pressed her down against the bed, kissing her fervently. She blinked for a moment, mind going blank at the touch of his lips, which were strangely cool against hers. Once her brain caught up she kissed him back just as hard, incredibly relieved that she hadn’t done any permanent damage by jumping to unpleasant conclusions… again.

“I want to stay here.” Cullen’s lips were pressed so close to hers that it took her a moment to figure out what he was saying.

“Good.” She responded, pressing her lips back against him. He shook his head, pulling back again.

“But I don’t want to risk hurting you.”

“Do you think you’ll have another nightmare?” She asked, pressing her head back into the mattress to try and look at his face. “Do you normally flail around like that?”

“I… not usually. And probably not, thankfully one a night is usually the limit.” He sighed and closed his eyes, letting his forehead fall against hers. “I’m so sorry, I should have warned you.”

“Well yeah, that was kind of dumb, but it’s been kind of a weird night, and that’s not really a fun afterglow topic.”

He gave the barest huff of a laugh, pulling back up to look at her. One hand lifted off the bed to hover over what she suspected might end up a visible bruise on her cheek. She made a little involuntary noise of protest, thinking he was going to touch it, but he just pushed a stray hair off of her forehead instead.

“We should get some ice on it. Dorian is going to kill me, and I’m going to deserve it.”

“Pfft, don’t be stupid, if anyone is going to kill you for hitting me, it’s going to be me.” She retorted. “Or maybe Isabela.” She added after a moment. Cullen winced.

“Aww, no, don’t make that face Noodle, it was an accident. If I hadn’t tried to wake you up none of this would have happened. But yeah, ice would be good. I’ll be right back ok? Lose the jeans.” She gave him a little shove to get him to roll off of her and he flopped back on the bed, dropping an arm over his eyes.

The townhouse was easy enough to navigate, even in the dark. She kept a supply of re-usable ice packs in the freezer, though it had been a while since she’d needed one for injuries she sustained in the bedroom. She snickered at the thought and then opened up the fridge, grabbing a couple of Dorian’s ridiculously overpriced water bottles. _She_ was perfectly happy with water from their very own pipes, but Dorian didn’t like the flavor, so always had water bottles on hand.

When she slipped back into her room Cullen had managed to make it out of his jeans, but was just sitting on the edge of the bed. He gave her a completely unconvincing smile when she walked in, getting up to take the water bottles out of her hand.

“One of those is for you, I figured you could use it. I’m gonna grab some elfroot pills.” She tilted her head, looking at him. He still looked paler than usual, and there was a tightness around his eyes she associated with pain. “Do you want a couple? You look like crap.”

He gave a startled laugh.

“Truth in advertising.” He responded dryly. “I wouldn’t say no actually, I tend to get headaches after.” She nodded and tossed the ice pack on the bed then grabbed her industrial sized bottle out of the bathroom. He raised his eyebrows when she handed it to him and she shrugged.

“I believe we’ve established I get banged up a lot.” She said dryly.

By the time they had both popped a couple of painkillers and gotten settled back on the bed, it was a distinct relief to finally lay the ice pack gingerly over her cheek. She gave a little hiss at the initial shock of the cold before she relaxed. Cullen was watching her intently when she turned her head to look his direction.

“I’m fairly certain you’re going to apologize again.” She said, and his lips twitched. “If it makes you feel better you can, but I forgive you, and I’d rather you kiss me instead.”

He still looked like crap, but the little smile he gave her was genuine. He shifted closer and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, then the cheek not covered in an ice pack, the tip of her nose, and finally her lips.

“Does that suffice my lady?” He asked, voice soft. She couldn’t help but grin at him, even though it made her cheek hurt.

“For now, good sir. Though tomorrow morning I have a different kind of kissing in mind, somewhat further south.”

Cullen smirked, gaze focusing and his face losing a bit of its haunted look.

“Well breakfast _is_ the most important meal of the day.” He said, leaning down to give her another kiss as she chuckled. The kiss was soft but his tongue flicked out over her bottom lip, an obvious promise. He was smiling when he pulled back and she reached up to ruffle his hair.

“We should try to get some sleep. Is it ok if I keep the lights on?”

“As long as it’s not for my benefit.” He said, tone a bit clipped.

“Cullen I installed lights over my bed, you really think I never sleep with them on?” Exasperating man.

“Sorry.” He said sheepishly. “The lights are fine.”

“Thank you.” She leaned over and gave him another kiss. “Now at least pretend to sleep, Noodle, so I don’t feel bad when I actually succeed.”

Settling against the pillows with the ice pack propped awkwardly in place, Dust closed her eyes. She ignored the shifting of the bed and the light behind her eyes. Sleeping with another person again was going to take some getting used to. When she felt the heat of Cullen’s body shift closer, and then a hand laid gently against her bare shoulder, she smiled. She was still smiling when she fell asleep.


	20. Kisses and Kinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, the name's on the tin, though kink might be a little bit of an exaggeration. :-p

Cullen woke in the soft grey of early morning, under dozens of tiny stars, held tight against a warm body. He blinked in confusion, but smiled when he realized where he was. Dust had one leg thrown over his thighs, and an arm snaked around his waist in a rather possessive grip. Her long hair had escaped its bun and seemed to be trying to strangle him _and_ fuse with his morning stubble at the same time. He was fairly certain that neither the cuddling or the hair was on purpose, which made him smile. Rather an amusing change of pace from a woman who had warned him she wasn’t a cuddler. 

He removed as much of her hair as he could from his face and neck with as few movements as possible, not wanting to wake her. Her face looked soft and a little strange without the force of her waking personality bringing movement and life to every curve and angle. She made him think of carvings of Andraste in the Chantry, a comparison he didn’t think she’d appreciate. But there was something… a kind of serenity that he associated with suffering overcome with grace. _Or you’re just completely smitten and being a romantic ass._ He smiled at his own nonsense, relaxing back against the pillows.

Memories of the previous night began to leak through his sleepy contentment and he sighed, knowing that he couldn’t avoid his own feelings. With a deep breath he tried to untangle the knot of negative emotions to examine everything that had happened. Telling her about the accident had been painful, but he was glad she knew, even if that had probably lead to his later nightmare. His awkwardness about his body during sex was… well it was awkward. 

Her frustration with him had been expected, but the _source_ of that frustration hadn’t. He’d have to try and take some time to deal with that, perhaps discuss it at his next therapy session. Still, awkwardness aside, it had been some damn fantastic sex, and Dust didn’t strike him as the type of woman who would ever bother faking pleasure she didn’t feel. No, he felt fairly certain she’d just course correct him until he got things right, which was… honestly incredibly hot. He squirmed slightly as his morning wood went from a half noticed physical reaction to a strong suggestion of interest.

Cullen ignored his body’s ideas to look at her more closely, focusing on her cheek in the low light. There was a shadow there, a mild bruise, and he bit his lips in frustration, trying to stay still as guilt and shame crashed through him. He breathed in deeply through his nose, letting the feelings wash over him as best he could. There was nothing he could do to change what had happened - he had left out a key piece of information and she had suffered for it. But he _also_ needed to remember that his remorse had been intense enough to border on self centered, and that had lead to her feeling worse. The fact that she’d thought he was leaving for good needled even deeper then accidentally hitting her, and all of it was pretty horrifying.

He was going to have to try and remember to focus outside himself more. It was always something he needed to work on, but now in particular it was going to have to become a major priority. He needed to learn to listen, and to remember that his brain wasn’t always a reliable narrator. Dust had no reason to lie to him, had shown herself not particularly interested in coddling him either. When she said she wanted to be with him, he needed to try to believe her.

“You’re thinking so loud I’m pretty sure it woke me up, Noodle.” He jumped, turning his head to see Dust smirking at him sleepily, pale eyes half lidded.

“Says the woman who doesn’t cuddle, and whose hair tried to strangle me in my sleep.” She chuckled and pressed closer, maneuvering to lay her head on his shoulder. 

“I don’t cuddle _voluntarily_.” 

“I see… so what exactly are we doing right now?”

“Snuggling, it’s a totally different thing. I’m not required to try and fall asleep like this.”

“Ah, an important distinction.” He leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. Her hand, which had been rubbing lazy circles across his chest under the blankets began to travel lower, slow enough that he could have stopped her if he wanted to. She skimmed over his boxers, nimble fingers reaching into the opening to find his cock, which was almost fully hard. Attempted self analysis could definitely wait. 

“Mmm… morning wood. I’d forgotten how much I like this.” Her hand stroked lazily over him, an easy rhythm that had him squirming in moments, weeks of sexual tension and months without someone else’s touch had apparently left him eager as a teenager.

“Happy to, ah! Oblige.”

“That reminds me, I think there was a different kind of obligation you were supposed to fulfill this morning. Something about kisses.” She let go of his dick, shifting her body over his. 

“Oh? Why don’t you remind me of what penance I owe for forgiveness?” He found her bare thigh under the blanket, stroking over her velvet soft skin.

“You are _so_ Andrastian. Were you a, what are they called, altar child?” She slid all the way on top of him, bedding falling from her like water. The hard tips of her nipples were pressing against her snug tank top in a way that simply begged for attention. Feeling bold, he slid his hands under the soft fabric, reaching up to gently cup her breasts, thumbs sliding over her nipples.

“Me and Mia both. It used to be only girls, but the Chantry loosened the standard a few decades ago.” The little beads of her piercings fascinated him. He carefully tugged at one and Dust actually squealed, bucking on top of him. He let go, not at all certain if it was a good noise or a bad one.

“Too much?” He asked, running his hands along her belly. She was biting her lower lip again, which he had a feeling had a few different meanings depending on the situation.

“Yes, but in a good way.” The look of hunger on her face when she looked down at him was enough that he found himself stifling a groan. “Have I mentioned that the first time you took me to dinner I kept thinking about how much I wanted to sit on your face until you gave my thighs rug burn?”

“ _Fuck!_ ” Heat shot through him and it was his turn to buck up involuntarily. How did she _do_ that? “Get naked and get up here.” 

He wasn’t sure if he was giving an order or making a plea, but it didn’t matter because Dust’s tank top went flying, and then she rolled off of him so she could wiggle out of her panties. When she straddled him again it was higher up his chest, giving him a perfect view of her pussy, with that enticing little patch of white hair that he wanted to lick like a damn lollipop. She grinned down at him with obvious delight. 

“I don’t like direct pressure on my clit, not at first. And I sometimes get kind of specific with directions, so if that bothers you, now’s the time to speak up.” He shifted his arms under her thighs, fingers digging into her ass cheeks to urge her forward.

“No, not a problem. _Definitely_ not a problem.” She took the hint and repositioned herself, her shins and the tops of her feet pressing against his shoulders and chest. Fuck she was right there, the glistening moisture of her pussy lips like a benediction. He wanted to taste her immediately, but she held herself over him with those thickly muscled thighs that he was (hopefully) going to dream of.

“If you need me to lift up just slap my ass.” Her voice was full of dark laughter.

“What I need is for you to get the fuck down here.” Another throaty laugh and then the wet heat of her was over his mouth. He squeezed his hands and she took the hint to stay where she was, just enough room between her and his mouth so he could maneuver. He slid his tongue over the white patch of her hair, just for the delight of fulfilling the previous night’s fantasy. She made a soft noise and he could see her hands clench on the headboard. 

He shifted down a bit and got to work, fingers trailing in vague movements over her thighs as he pressed his tongue between the folds of her labia, gently exploring, keeping the pressure light and gentle. A faint tinge of salt spread across his tongue the moment he touched her, quickly mixing with his saliva to spread over his cheeks, gone slightly rough with the new growth of stubble. Flattening his tongue, he licked the full length of her, slipping the tip around her clit when he reached the top. She gave a whimper and rolled her hips, and he wasn’t sure if it was voluntary or not. 

Mindful of her instructions he circled her clit gently, then slid down to pass the tip of his tongue over the sensitive area beneath it and above her urethra. When that earned him a gasp that sounded more like a sob he repeated the process, circling and sliding until he could feel her thighs begin to tremble. Delighted with his success, but wanting to continue exploring, he pulled her down a bit, making a pleased noise at how quickly she responded to the pressure of his hands. He took a deep breath and plunged his tongue into her vagina, reveling in the pressure of her soft folds against his face and how her hips began to shift.

Sweet gasps, little whimpers, and the occasional moan were slipping from her mouth to his ears in a near constant chorus of appreciation and encouragement. He fucked his tongue into her, as deep as he could, rolling the tip as he pressed in and pulled out. When the words switched to a different language he smiled to himself and shifted back up to her clit, this time applying more pressure as he circled. Her hips began to undulate and he didn’t stop her, keeping his tongue pressed against her so she could find the areas that pleased her most. 

Cullen looked up to see her with one hand clutching to the headboard for dear life, the other kneading her own breast, tank top pulled up almost to her neck. Watching her pinching and pulling her nipples with such wanton abandon, he couldn’t help but groan, the sound apparently adding more stimulation as her hips stuttered. Taking a chance he circled her clit with his lips, sucking lightly and running the flat of his tongue over the swollen crown, earning him a wordless shout and more hip movement that he had to still. 

There was no way he’d come without a hand on his cock, but sweet Maker’s mercy he was so aroused it might almost have been possible. He was rock hard and his own hips were starting to rock involuntarily with the movements of her body. Taking one hand off of her hips, he slipped it down the cleft of her ass, making her gasp as he maneuvered until he could slide one finger into her, crooking it the way she had liked the night before, returning to his pattern of circling her clit, and gently tracing her u spot. 

Dust’s hips had taken on a definite rhythm, a graceful undulation that made him ecstatic and desperate. Her voice was getting louder, moans turning to cries as she shivered above him. He added a second finger, moving slowly and pressing firmly, then sucking her clit back between his lips. The hand she had been using to play with her breasts came down and buried in his hair as she panted.

“Cullen, please, _please… sumeil, sumeil.”_ And oh fuck if that wasn’t painfully arousing, to hear his name moaned in her smoky voice, knowing he was the one pulling her apart. Even if he didn’t recognize all the words, he could recognize the tremor in her thighs, the desperate way she was rolling her hips over him, her fingers clutching at his curls. The angle for it was rather terrible, but he sped up the rhythm of his thrusts inside her, beginning to lick purposefully directly on the smooth, swollen head of her clitoris. 

Her voice rose, a wordless cry, desperate and delightfully loud, completely shameless in her pleasure. He could hear her gasping, feel the wetness of her soaking his cheeks, his chin, his hand. It was all he could do to focus and not snake his hand down to stroke his painfully hard cock, but he intended to make her the priority. 

“Cullen!” She shouted his name and then with what seemed like a whole body shudder she came, voice spiralling into a scream, clenching tight around his fingers and falling helplessly against the headboard, stretching her hand out to brace herself. He kept moving his fingers, slowly and gently, keeping his tongue in motion with soft licks on either side of her clit to keep from overstimulation. When even that was too much she bucked up off of his face with a sob.

Pulling his fingers from her, he placed a gentle kiss on the now soaking wet thatch of her pubic hair, then urged her back down to sit on his chest. She hung over him with her eyes closed and her hair sticking to her sweaty skin. Her cheeks didn’t really flush, but her lips had gone bright red, without the benefit of any cosmetics. She was still shivering and whimpering with little aftershocks and he pressed soft kisses to the wet skin of her thighs. Finally, with a groan, she managed to climb off of him, sliding down the bed until she could collapse beside him on the pile of pillows, leaning up against the headboard.

“You know,” Cullen said conversationally, placing a soft kiss on the outside of her thigh. “I’m not sure you understand how penance works. If I enjoy it as much as you do, it’s not really a proper punishment, is it?”

She looked down at him, smile lazy, eyes half lidded as she shrugged. The sight of her breasts jiggling with the movement made his cock twitch, reminding him that all right, yes, there might be some penance involve. Dust’s eyes slid down his body to where his cock, engorged and leaking drops of precum, was pushing out from the slit in his boxers. When she looked at his face again her smile was sinful. She slid down the bed with a couple of distracting wiggles, then leaned over him and kissed him thoroughly, lapping into his mouth with her tongue, sucking on his scar, before swiping her tongue playfully across her cheek to lap at the moisture there. He moaned helplessly, brain short circuiting. _Maker’s breath._

“Cullen.” Her voice was rough from screaming, a low, filthy purr. “I want you to jerk off where I can see. And I want you to come all over my tits.”

He let out an inarticulate noise, arching up off the bed at the combination of her voice and heat and the mental image. Finding a strength and agility akin to his days as a quarterback, he had her under him, naked and breathless with a quick flip. She laughed and grinned up at him, hair a wild tangle of white around her shoulders and face.

It was his turn to straddle her, knees on either side of her rib cage as he shoved his boxers down just enough to get his cock out and began stroking and tugging with a will, not holding back, just rushing toward the precipice of his pleasure. Dust was making approving noises as she snaked a hand up between his legs, gently squeezing his balls before her fingers moved back, a couple knuckles pressing gently against his perineum. Her thumb continued to running over the skin of his balls, which were tightening rapidly at the approach of his orgasm. 

“Fuck. I’m…” 

“Right here.” She replied to his unfinished warning, using her free hand to tug at her nipples hard. That was enough to send him over with a shout, angling his cock down as he spurted what felt like an endless stream of come over her breasts, hand, and even a bit up onto her neck and chin. His eyes shut without his control as he worked the last few pulses from his cock, Dust cupping his balls gently. He was breathing heavy, feeling delightfully wrung out by the time he opened his eyes to see her grinning up at him with all the satisfaction of a cat who just knocked over two hours worth of paperwork. 

Huffing a laugh at the mental image he collapsed next to her, one arm flung over her stomach, face half squished in the pillows. He could see her smiling from one eye, and then she ran her forefinger through the come on her breasts and popped it in her mouth like a sucker. He groaned helplessly.

“Oh Maker, _don’t_. Have mercy on me, I’m not as young as I once was.” She laughed and he tried not to think too hard about how her breasts, striped with his cum, bounced fetchingly. He shut his eyes and let his mind drift in a lazy, post orgasmic haze.

“If you aren’t going to let me clean up the fun way, I need to go get in the shower before this dries.” She wiggled out from under him and hopped off the bed. “Oof, ok, my thighs are sore, well done there Noodle.”

He lifted his arm, giving her a thumbs up as a gesture of solidarity. She laughed and he heard the bathroom door open.

“You’re welcome to join me if you’d like.” He immediately pictured her naked and wet, soap suds dotting her skin like drifting clouds and groaned again, lifting his head to stare at her blearily.

“Are you trying to kill me? Was my penance not enough?”

“Fine, fine, stay in bed, wouldn’t want to break you only the second time around.” With a wave she shut the door, leaving him to drift back to sleep to the sound of running water and visions of tattooed skin.


	21. Journeys and Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

As mornings went, Cullen’s first morning with Dust was going down in his personal history as one of the best ever. After his own shower (cold) and delicious breakfast burritos made by Dust, who insisted on cooking in her underwear and an oversized t-shirt (both hot _and_ tempting) Cullen has made use of a fresh shirt from the “Lost and Found” collection she and Dorian had amassed from previous _visitors_.

The shirt he had come over in now smelled strongly of sex and Dust’s perfume, a heady mix he was not about to wear to work, no matter how much he personally liked it. After they fished through the collection to find something that would fit (a plain black t-shirt, much to his relief) she suggested that next time he should just pack a bag if he was going to spend the night. He was a little surprised by her quick acceptance of him in her space, but he couldn’t deny the idea of “next time” gave him very pleasant butterflies.

To his relief, the place where he had accidentally hit Dust had not developed into a bruise of any great noticeability, though there was a faint sort of purple spot at the apex of her cheek where a knuckle might have hit her harder than the rest of his hand. It still made his stomach dip to look at it, but he managed to bite off more apologies for fear that she would grow annoyed with him.

It was after ten by the time he finally left. Dust sent him off to work with a to-go mug of coffee, a belly full of breakfast, and a kiss so searing hot he was a little afraid he’d simply combust on the spot. He popped his dirty shirt onto the passenger seat of the Jeep, placed his coffee in the cupholder, and turned his phone back on. He hadn’t wanted to be distracted by any “encouraging” messages from Bull the night before.

He was a somehow not surprised to see multiple messages from Bull waiting for him, though at least they had come in very early that morning, and not the night before.

6:28 am _Iron Bull: So kid… how’d it go. Was it all you dreamed of and more? Did she ride you like a halla?_

7:28 am _Iron Bull: Aww, come on kid, don’t leave me hanging, inquiring minds want to know!_

9:03 am _Iron Bull: Kid seriously, did she kill you? Do you need a Chantry mother?_

Cullen rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. Bull was, when Cullen could get past a certain natural reticence, a good person to talk to about sex. He helped keep it all in perspective, something Cullen’s good Chantry upbringing occasionally fucked with.

_Cullen: I am not texting you details about my sex life._

_Iron Bull: Ha, the fact that you HAVE one now says it all!_

He had to laugh. Bull did have a point, not like his roommate hadn’t been witness to his several month dry spell.

_Cullen: Fine, yes, it was everything I dreamed of and more. I’m not entirely sure what halla riding entails, but yes, I’m fairly certain she did, in fact, ride me like one._

He was blushing as he typed and hit send, but it his lip was also twitching into a smile. It had been excellent sex after all. His head was packed with a whole montage of gorgeous memories that seemed to like replaying on loop.

_Iron Bull: Void yes! Good job kid!! Well… maybe good job Dust, but way to get mounted like a champ. I bet she’s got great thighs for it._

_Cullen: OK, sharing time is done now, I’m going to work._

By the time he reached Puppy Love and parked, he had several more messages.

_Iron Bull: lol fine kid, no comments on the thighs. Even though they’re great. Glad you kids had fun._

_Dorian Pavus: I sincerely hope the two of you managed to finally consummate your courtship last night, the constant sexual tension was getting extremely tiresome._

_Krem Aclassi: So hey, you get lucky last night? Lemme know if I’m making a celebratory dinner next weekend or if I need to watch you two yearn at each other some more._

_Hawke: Yo, Curly, when r u getting here? I want the 411._

It was followed by a series of emojis that cullen was NOT going to try and interpret, most of them eggplant. He responded to Dorian first.

_Cullen: Oh, do forgive me for not starting with a one night stand that lasted for 3 weeks before I finally admitted it was anything but “a bit of fun.”_

_Dorian: … Touché. I cannot believe you’re sassing me._

_Cullen: Go complain to Dust, I already have an obnoxious roommate._

_Dorian: Rude!_

Feeling rather proud of getting the upper hand in that exchange he shot off a text to Krem.

_Cullen: What kind of pie do I get to celebrate getting lucky exactly?_

_Krem: I’ll ask Harding. Also I’m resisting a LOT of Chief level jokes right now, so I need credit for that._

_Cullen: Good man. Tell Harding I’m really fond of apple._

_Krem: Will do, and well done._

Cullen shook his head and decided he’d had more than enough interpersonal communication for one morning. He shoved his phone in his pocket and headed inside. Dealing with Hawke in person would be annoying, but at least in person his friend wouldn’t be able to use any emoji. 

* * *

_Noodle: If one more person congratulates me on sex, I’m throwing something. Probably my phone since most of it has been text messages._

_Snow Fox: lol sorry, not sorry. I liked the sex a lot, I feel it deserves celebration._

_Noodle: That’s different, I’m glad YOU liked it, I’m just tired of everyone else talking about it._

_Snow Fox: Hmm… let me guess, Bull, Dorian, Krem, definitely Hawke, and maybe Merrill._

_Noodle: Maker’s breath, Merrill._

_Noodle: Merrill got me a CAKE._

_Noodle: It’s blank but she assures me it’s a “congratulations on the lovely sex” cake. <Sent an image>_

_ _

Dust had to actually set her phone down on her desk so she could laugh until tears were streaming down her face. Merrill was a gift from the Creators.

_Noodle: Dust?_

_Snow Fox: I’m sorry, I was laughing so hard I had to put my phone down._

_Noodle: I hate you._

_Snow Fox: That’s not what you said this morning…_

_Cullen: I’m going to go walk the dogs now._

The Crow was closed on Mondays, so she was lazily working on some pieces for her portfolio. She had a convention in Nevarra in Haring, so it would be a good chance to hopefully find someone who wanted to let her use their body as a canvas for her own creations. She felt deliciously languid and wonderfully sore, and pretty fucking pleased with herself if she was honest. Cullen was… well Cullen was pretty delightful, which she could admit when she was all alone.

Abandoning even the pretense of work she leaned back in her work chair, letting her eyes fall closed. She had iced her cheek again just to be on the safe side, but it looked like she’d only have the very minor bruise, easy to cover with a little concealer. It made her a little nostalgic for their first date, which was _grossly_ sentimental and stupid, but she shrugged off her own embarrassment. There were some things she needed to work on, like the tiny voice in her head that screamed “ABANDONMENT!” every time she thought of Cullen pulling on his jeans. It was so easy to jump to conclusions, but Cullen was full of too many surprises for her to keep doing that without getting burned.

Cullen had a whole host off issues as well, and it was a little daunting. Dust had only had one “real” relationship in all her thirty-one years, and while Bela had baggage of her own, body issues weren’t part of the set. Cullen wasn’t wrong about Isabela being perfect - he was just wrong about _why_. Bela was perfect because she loved and accepted her body and herself, refusing to be ashamed of anything, from her unabashed love of silly hats to the stretch marks on her belly and breasts. Bela knew she was amazing and made her partners feel equally amazing while they were with her. Dust almost wished she could give the two of them a night together so that Cullen could get a taste of what that was like.

Dust laughed at her own thoughts, which quickly devolved into a series of images of Cullen and Isabela together in her bed that were probably a lot more pleasing than they should be. _Pretty sure you’re not supposed to picture your boyfriend fucking your ex girlfriend Dust. Even if it_ is _really fucking hot._ It was certainly more pleasant to imagine making Cullen the filling in a sandwich of her and Bela than thinking about Cullen’s story about his car accident, and the after effects of his nightmare. She got agitated just thinking about how much he must have hurt, physically and emotionally. The fact that he’d actually managed to tell her as much as he had impressed her greatly. Dirthamen knew Dust clutched her secrets and trauma close, almost never willing to discuss them with anyone, let alone bare her soul like Cullen had.

There was a high probability she was going to fuck things up, but she was going to try her damndest not to. Cullen deserved someone who could understand and accept who he was, and who he was obviously trying to be. She thought she could do that, but she was not the kind of woman to lie to herself - it was not going to be easy. In the end she could either try her best, or give up in defeat, and losing was a dirty word in her vocabulary. If she was going to randomly fall for a goofy blond noodle head with a whole subscription’s worth of issues, then she was going to do her best to deal with them, and not run away. Her phone buzzed on her desk, interrupting her mental pep talk and she smiled.

_Noodle: Maker’s breath woman, I look like I was mauled by an animal. The hickey you left on my neck is ridiculous._

Dust grinned wickedly. How he had missed it that morning when he got ready for work was beyond her, but she was pleased with her work. That pale skin of his really showed her work beautifully. On the other hand he hadn’t exactly left her unscathed either. Cheek bruise aside, she had a rather impressive hickey of her own on the side of her breast, and a couple bruises on her ass and hips that were definitely from his fingers. She had missed those little souvenirs of a night well spent.

_Snow Fox: Funny you should say that, so is the one on my left tit._

_Noodle: Oops? :)_

_Snow Fox: Uh huh… Besides, I didn’t hear any complaints when I was giving it to you._

Actually there had been gasping, and a couple soft moans, but she knew those were not noises of protest.

_Snow Fox: Of course, if it really bothers you I can keep them below the neck. But I like marking my territory._

_Noodle: So I’m your territory now?_

_Snow Fox: Well I think I did a pretty good job of claiming you last night, but I could continue my march of conquest if you’d like._

_Noodle: Have you been stealing Bull’s pickup lines? You know it works better if you’re seven feet tall, right?_

_Snow Fox: Tell me you aren’t blushing and maybe I’ll buy that._

_Noodle: I’m ALWAYS blushing, it doesn’t count._

She spun in her chair, grinning at the mental image of Cullen texting her, pink cheeked and smirking. Ugh, she was a mess, just thinking about him making her all warm and fuzzy. _You’re so screwed, and not just the sexy way._ She dropped her head to her desk, taking a deep breath. There was nothing wrong with being smitten with her boyfriend. There was nothing wrong with being happy. Taking a deep breath she lifted her head and focused on quieting the voices in her head telling her it was a terrible idea to be attached so fast.

_Snow Fox: So I have practice tonight, but should be done around 9:30. How do you feel about me coming over after? I think I definitely deserve a piece of cake for my part in the “lovely sex.”_

_Noodle: I’ll be sure to save you a piece from the living vacuums that are Hawke and Bull._

_Snow Fox: Good, I’ll see you then._

Dust didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who's come along with me for this very silly ride. I hope you've enjoyed yourselves. This wasn't quite how I intended to end the story, nor is it the last chapter I've written, but the truth is, I'm done with this particular story. I started it as a fun little thing to work on to distract myself while working on more serious stuff, but lately I've just really lost my motivation for writing and the DA fandom in general. Working on Derby was starting to be painful instead of fun. I hope this provides enough closure for everyone, and you had fun with my funny little AU. Thank you all for your kudos and kind words and putting up with me essentially babbling about my own OC for 21 chapters.


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